


To Serve Her

by bbygirldahyun



Category: TWICE (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Royalty, Eventual Smut, F/F, handmaiden!dahyun, queen!mina
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-11-01
Updated: 2020-10-29
Packaged: 2021-01-15 23:55:52
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 12
Words: 65,707
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21261710
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bbygirldahyun/pseuds/bbygirldahyun
Summary: As Queen's handmaiden, Dahyun lives to serve. That, she knows for certain. What serving entails is the fuzzy part.





	1. Chapter One

**Author's Note:**

> another reposted work from my aff and again, og idea on my tumblr,,

The walk to the palace is long. It’s a rainy morning, droplets of water sputtering down from the sky with fervor, slamming against the ground repeatedly, making the dirt roads become mud, caking Dahyun’s boots as she trudges along. Her face tips down to the ground, hopeful to keep the water from wetting her face, though it seems to be in vain. Her frayed dress, stockings, and boots are all soaked, her long black hair drenched. But she must make it to the palace. No matter what it takes, she has to make it there by nightfall. In the morning, the royal family will be interviewing for new staff, and she is desperate. Desperate for an escape from a life of poverty, of too many mouths to feed and not enough food, of giving up everything for someone else. If she can become a palace maid, she will have a bed, and food to eat every night, and a reprieve from the awful weather that always managed to come in their cottage somehow no matter how many holes in the roof they patched up. 

Dahyun has no possessions, save for the clothes on her back. She has no money, no valuables, no experience. All she has to show is determination, and dedication, and a need to survive. She coughs as she walks, feeling fatigued, wondering if she is becoming ill. It does not matter, she cannot afford to be sick; once she arrives to the palace, she must work. Carriages occasionally roll by her, the occupants inside peeking around lace curtains to stare, and she forces herself not to stare back. If only she had a carriage, or even a wagon, she could be to the palace in half the time it will take her walking. Her home village is so far away, she has never seen the palace before, or the royal family. She has only heard of them, of the beautiful Princess who will soon become their Queen, Mina. If she was a worse person, she might resent Princess Mina, for she had everything, never knew what it was like to go to bed hungry. But Dahyun could not find it in herself to be bitter; it was not the Princess’s fault she was born into royalty and Dahyun was not. 

It is late afternoon when the palace finally comes into Dahyun’s sight. The rain has slowed to a drizzle, but Dahyun still shivers, feeling cold and poorly. The palace is imposing, a tall marble structure, with turrets and towers to make it beautiful. It is set atop a hill, a wide river running around it. Dahyun has never lived near the river, never had water that readily available to her. It is a magnificent sight, the rushing water under the bridge leading to the palace gates, the glimmering marble in the finally emerging sunlight. It is Dahyun’s beacon of hope, as her muddy boots drag on the wooden bridge, as she reaches with trembling hands to wring the water from her hair and clothes, hoping to make herself look somewhat presentable. 

She approaches the two guards manning the gates, and she curtsies as best as she can. That is not the custom in her village, they have no reason for it to be. They are all poor where she lives, nobody above anyone else. But palace staff must be respected, and she knows this is how you show respect. “Hello, sirs,” Her voice wavers, and she clears her throat, hoping to sound more confident. “I am here to present myself for a position in the palace.” They bow, and then nod, and then the gates are pushed open for her. She walks past, intimidated by their stoicism, and the swords tucked into their belts.

“Enter through the back,” One tells her, voice low, commanding. “The maids will direct you.” 

“Thank you, sir,” Dahyun curtsies again, hurrying off. The palace grounds fascinate her as she walks up the cobblestone path. There are so many flowers, and trees, and a fountain made of what looks to be gold. If she wasn’t already drenched and freezing from the rain, she thinks she might like to dip her fingers in the cool rushing of the fountain water. The thing that puzzles her the most are the trees that grow things from them, things she’s unfamiliar with. She knows of apple trees, they have those in her village, but if these are apples they are funny looking apples. They are an almost orange yellow, not red, and they do not look much like apples at all. If she were not at the palace, she would like to pick one and study it, but she is certain she should not do that. So she shakes her head, tears her gaze away, and moves faster down the path, turning to slip down the stairs that lead her to a lower, dirt path to the back door of the palace; the servants entrance. 

With a shaking hand, she pushes the door open, holding her breath as she steps inside. She is greeted with the hustle and bustle of the palace kitchen, older ladies in aprons and maid uniforms hurrying around, cooking what looks to be dinner.

“Hello dear!” A kind voice greets her, and an older woman with a genial smile is taking her hands, pulling her further inside. “Are you here for the interviewing tomorrow?” 

“Y-yes, ma’am,” Dahyun stammers, swallowing hard, wishing to contain her nerves. 

The older woman looks her up and down, tutting at her wet clothing, frowning at the paleness of her complexion. “You must get out of those wet clothes, you will fall ill otherwise.” She tugs her by her wrist, out of the kitchen and to what looks to be the maids quarters. “We have no seamstress at the moment, so you will have to suffer with someone else’s plain clothing.” 

“It is alright, ma’am,” Dahyun interjects. “I mean, I will stay in my clothing. I do not want to impose on you.” 

“Nonsense,” The older lady scoffs. “It will do you well to let us launder your things, you will feel better if you are warm.” She shuffles through a drawer in someone’s room, presenting Dahyun with a plain gray gown. “This is what most of us wear for our sleeping garments, but it will do until your clothes are laundered for tomorrow.” 

“Thank you, ma’am,” Dahyun dips her head in a slight bow, then curtsies hurriedly, remembering.

“You mustn’t curtsy to me, dear. We are equals,” She pats Dahyun’s cheek affectionately, that genial smile back on her lips. “Now change, and come back to the kitchen after. We will feed you.” 

Dahyun smiles for the first time since she arrived to the palace, and once she is alone, she changes, balling up her soaked clothing and taking them with her back to the kitchen, hoping to find where she can launder them. The older ladies in the kitchen welcome her, taking the clothes from her, promising to return them to her the next morning, handing her a bowl of warm stew and a slice of freshly baked bread.

“It is so lovely to see such a bright, young face,” One says, smiling at her as she accepts the bowl with a tiny thank you. 

She takes a small spoonful, and she nearly cries at the taste. It is so flavorful, and the bread is so soft, she has never tasted anything like it. The soups they made at home were always watery, and barely had enough flavor to taste like much of anything, and their bread was too grainy and hard to be enjoyable. 

“This is wonderful,” She whispers, eyes wide, enjoying the warmth it settles inside her. She had been so cold all day. 

“That is nothing, you should see the food made for the royal family,” The head of the kitchen says, waving her over. She is shown decadent dishes, things she doesn’t recognize, and she feels just as she did looking at the funny apples growing on the trees outside; out of place. 

As she tries to sleep that night, on a cot in one of the empty maid’s quarters, she finds her mind unable to quiet. She can’t help wondering what it will be like to meet the royal family, how she will convince them to allow her to work here. She is already so overwhelmed and out of place, so unfamiliar with all of the things here. How is she supposed to make them think them she is worthy? She also wonders if the Princess will be there, or only the King and Queen. She would like to think they would include the Princess, because in just short of a month it will be her kingdom, not theirs. She must get a say in the staff that will work under her, right? 

Dahyun eventually falls into an uneasy sleep, only to be woken in what feels like ten minutes to a knock, and then a loud voice chirping, “Your clothes are outside the door, and breakfast is in the kitchen!” She rises, sighing a soft breath, taking the clothes set in front of the door, ones she knows well. They are the nicest things she owns, a frayed brown smock, white stockings with a hole in the knee, and black work boots. It is easy to dress in them, and if she closes her eyes she can almost imagine she is in her own cottage, the fire crackling and the sounds of shouting that typically plagued her home all around her. Suddenly she is thankful to open her eyes and be in the palace. 

Breakfast is a bowl of thick porridge, warm and filling, something else she has never had. She does not eat breakfast at home, and she can hardly manage to finish half the bowl without feeling sick, but she does not want to be wasteful, so she makes herself eat the rest. 

“Are you nervous, dear?” One of the kitchen ladies asks, and she nods, not trusting her own voice. “It will go well, I am sure of it. The royal family are kind.” She fusses with Dahyun’s smock, straightening it, frowning at the holes. “At least the King and Queen are. Their daughter-” She stops, shaking her head. “I do not mean to speak ill of the Princess.” 

“I will not tell,” Dahyun whispers, wanting to know what she was going to say. 

“She is...reserved,” The lady sighs, fingers moving to Dahyun’s hair, fiddling with it, fixing it into a long braid down her back. “A bit cold to some. I do not think she cares much for running a kingdom. She is not kind to the suitors they have presented her. She is cordial, yes, but not warm.” 

“Ah, I see,” Dahyun frowns a little. She does not want to meet the Princess now, thinking she will make a bad impression on her. But she figures the King and Queen will probably be who she will interview with, as they will want to exercise their power as long as they have it, especially when it comes to picking staff for their daughter.

“Now, you will go up to the Throne Room,” The lady says, finished with Dahyun’s hair. “I am not quite sure how many of you there are, but there have been nearly a dozen to come this morning alone.” Dahyun pales at the thought of so many others vying for positions, hoping she will be enough to earn one. “Get on upstairs, child. You mustn’t be late.” She is shooed up a flight of stairs, to a heavy wooden door, and then she really enters the palace for the first time. It is opulent, the walls covered in paintings and tapestries, chandeliers dangling from the ceilings, high glass windows letting the morning light in to make the whole place seem to glitter. Dahyun peers around in awe, having never seen anything so grand in all her life. It’s mesmerizing, how beautiful everything is. She could never have imagined anything so magnificent. 

It is not hard to find the Throne Room, as there are hoards of other people her age shuffling along the corridors towards the open doors. She trails along after them, ducking her head; she is very evidently the least well off even amongst the people interviewing. Her best clothing is probably their worst. It’s loud with the pounding of everyone’s feet, and as they enter the Throne Room they are forced into one long, straight line in front of the King and Queen, who sit in their thrones watching intently. There is one shorter throne in between them, empty, a throne Dahyun assumes is for the Princess. She wonders how the Throne Room will look when it is only the Princess, once she has been coronated as Queen. 

“If you are from the South Village, the Southeast Village, or the Southwest Village, please step forward,” The King says in a low voice, one that subconsciously makes Dahyun stand a bit straighter, and tuck her hands together behind her back. Nearly half of the people making up the line step forward, Dahyun not among them. “The men will step over here, with the head of our Royal Guard. You will be trained to guard the palace. The women, step here to the head of the Medical Wing. You will be trained to be nurses.” That group is escorted off by their respective heads, and it makes Dahyun shake a little bit. 

“May the people from the West Village and the Northwest Village step forward,” The Queen is the one to speak now, softer, but still commanding. Again, Dahyun stays in line while a handful of others step forward. “The men, you will be trained as groundskeepers, with our Head of Grounds,” She gestures, they all walk over. “And the ladies, you will be trained as housekeepers, with our Head of House.” And so that group exits, leaving just over ten people left in the whole line. Dahyun feels her stomach twist. 

“Now, the people from the North Village and the East Village,” The King sighs heavily. Everyone except for Dahyun steps forward, and she has to bite down on the inside of her cheek to keep from crying. “You will all be trained in the kitchen as cooks. Please follow our Head Cook.” Everyone leaves, and Dahyun feels herself trembling more, alone in front of the King and Queen now. 

“Which village do you hail from?” The Queen asks her with a puzzled look. 

“The Northeast Village, your Majesty,” Dahyun chokes out quietly. It is totally silent as the King and Queen exchange a glance, and Dahyun truly thinks she might throw up. She is the only one from her village here, nobody else would even think to make such a far journey. How could she have been so stupid to think they would let someone from the poorest village have a place in the kingdom?

“We have never had a worker from your village,” The Queen clarifies, and Dahyun hangs her head in shame, nodding, assuming she is being dismissed without a job. How will she face her family now? “But I am sure we can place you with our laundresses.” It is a low rung job, one usually for people who escaped hangings by working off their crimes. But Dahyun will take whatever she is given. 

“Thank you, your Highness,” She falls into a deep curtsy, a single tear rolling down her cheek. “I will not disappoint you.”

And as her first few days of working go by, she finds it is not a hard job to be a laundress, only physically demanding. It is tasking to carry the huge buckets of water up from the river once they are filled, because only the royal family have the water running into their chambers. Then she must take a washing board and scrub the clothes down, rinsing them in soapy water and then wring them out and hang them to dry. There is a different sort of soap used for the royal families clothes, and she is instructed to be much gentler with the gowns especially, hanging them on an entirely different line. Once the clothes are dry she is made to fold them and then deliver them to wherever they are supposed to go. 

Her uniform is the nicest thing she’s ever owned, a snugly fitting brown smock with a waist apron that ties into a nice bow at the back. She keeps her hair tied back in a low bun, or braid, because she doesn't want it in the way of her working at all. She must be diligent, and not let anything hold her back, to prove she is worth working in the palace. 

It takes but a week or two for her hands to rubbed raw, and her knuckles to crack and bleed. But she couldn't care less, for she has a permanent bed, and a ceiling that does not leak, and she eats three full meals a day. Though all of the other servants dine in the Great Hall with the royal family for meals, the laundresses do not, as most of them are considered near criminals. Dahyun does not see much of the royal family, but she prefers it that way. They frighten her greatly, especially the Princess, who she has not seen even once. She is almost an enigma, this concept that is hazy and undefined, and Dahyun keeps picturing what she may look like or sound like, how her cold demeanor would show. 

A month into her new position, the palace is thrown into a whirlwind trying to prepare for the Princess’s coronation. There is so much to do, Dahyun finds herself being pulled away from the laundry to help with a million other things. She helps with trimming the hedges in the garden, polishing the artifacts around the palace, mopping the floors, anything anyone can think of. She helps in the kitchen most, and she loves it there. The ladies are all so kind, and it always smells so amazing, nothing like the way the laundry room smells, like dirt and mildew. It is the day of the coronation when the Head Maid comes bursting into the kitchen, looking frazzled, yelling out, “I need the prettiest looking young ones for serving the crowd today.” 

“Ah, child, you go,” The oldest lady in the kitchen says to Dahyun with a maternal smile, patting her back to usher her forward.

“N-No, I could not, I-” Dahyun starts to stammer, but the Head Maid grabs her and yanks her by the wrist. 

“Do not be silly, come,” She hauls the group of young girls away, instructing them all to do their hair in low ponytails to be uniform, and to make sure their smocks and aprons are clean and wrinkle free. Dahyun tries to keep her breathing even paced, and not let herself get overwhelmed, as the Head Maid details what they will be doing. They will be assigned groups, and will be responsible for serving said groups throughout the dinner, and then they will all stand along the back wall and watch the Princess be coronated. 

“You three,” The Head Maid starts clustering people off. “You will be serving Queen Sana and her family,” They nod, step off to the side. “You three, Queen Momo and her family,” Again, they step aside. “You four will be serving the Advisory table, and you two Duchess Nayeon,” More step away, leaving only Dahyun and two others left. “You two, you will serve Princess Tzuyu and King and Queen Chou.” And then Dahyun finds herself alone again, and she’s really hoping that they will let her go, having one too many. “You, you will be serving the royal family.” Her heart drops into her stomach, her eyes blown wide. She is so stunned she can’t even sputter protests. “So that means you will also have the job of bringing Princess Mina’s crown to the front as she is getting coronated.” 

“I…” Dahyun makes to protest, but she swallows it back. She must do everything she is told, to show she is worthy. She must prove that they didn’t make a mistake by allowing her a place in the palace. “Yes ma’am,” Is what she settles on, adding a quick curtsy. 

It seems like a blur as Dahyun is handed an ornate tray with three glasses of wine settled on it, and she finds herself leading the line of servants to the Great Hall. It’s with shaky legs she forces herself into the room, sights set in the highest up table, where the royal family sits. She forces herself to breathe as best as she can, feeling her mouth go dry the closer she gets. She is stunned when she finally sees the Princess for the first time. She looks nothing as Dahyun imagined her, her features softer, eyes warmer. Her hair is long and beautiful, cascading down her back, and her gown is stunning. It is white, making her skin glow, and it is just as opulent as everything else in the palace. 

Dahyun tries to keep her hands from quivering as she sets the wine glasses in front of the King, then the Queen, and then finally the Princess. “Thank you,” the Princess smiles sweetly to her, nimble fingers cupping the stem of the glass, bringing it to her lips.

Dahyun curtsies with a nervous smile, and she tries to say as clearly as possible, “Of course, your Highness.” She finds herself watching the Princess sip her wine, before realizing she needs to be leaving, to get their food. She can’t understand why she was so drawn in to watching someone do something so simple, but she doesn’t question it much. 

When she returns with their food, carefully placing it in front of them, the Princess again flashes her a beautiful smile. “They have assigned us the prettiest one, I see,” It’s an odd comment, one that makes Dahyun feel a little funny. She can’t even tell if it is directed at her, because the King and Queen laugh, chiding the Princess for her forwardness. 

“You are kind, your Grace,” Dahyun laughs nervously, a habit she has never been able to kick. 

A soft gaze falls on her, and she finds herself watching the Princess’s lips as the older woman says, “That is the first time I have ever heard that.” It is lighthearted, but it makes Dahyun frown. “Will you tell us about the dinner tonight?” Her parents laugh again, commenting to each other at the conversation, telling the Princess she’s holding Dahyun up. 

“Mina, let the poor girl get back to work,” the Queen says warmly, but Mina waves her off. 

“Oh, well,” Dahyun knows the answer to this, because she helped prepare the dinner. “We prepared quail and scallops, alongside the carrots and cabbage.” She wrings her hands together to keep them from trembling. 

“You helped prepare this?” Mina asks, sounding genuinely curious. 

“Y-yes, I…” Dahyun forces herself not to stutter. “I aided in the kitchen, as well as with cleaning and other things.” She takes a small breath. “I am typically a laundress, I am unsure why they chose me for this.” Another nervous laugh, and then a breath that hurts to take. 

Mina breaks out in a huge, gummy smile, one that makes her look so much younger. Dahyun decides she likes that smile best. “You sound incredible. You must be a hard worker, then?” 

“I certainly try to be,” Dahyun nods adamantly, and Mina suddenly reaches and takes her hand, giving a friendly squeeze, before letting go. 

“I will let you alone, I am sorry to have talked your ear off,” She laughs, a sweet, melodic sound that makes Dahyun feel dizzy in the best way. 

Dahyun keeps a careful eye on Mina as the coronation proceeds, leaning against the cold marble wall, waiting for her cue to go and retrieve the crown she will be delivering to the King, who will then place it on Mina’s head to signify her becoming Queen. 

“Thank you, everyone, for doing us the honor of being here to witness the coronation of our new Queen,” the Queen says with a fond smile, looking over to Mina, who waits patiently off to the side. “We have four kingdoms gathered here today, our closest allies and our advisory board, and I feel grateful my daughter already has so many supporting her in this unprecedented rule. We all know that typically one does not rise to power until her predecessors are dead, but we want to be around to watch her rule. She will be the dawn of a new age for this kingdom I am certain.” 

That’s Dahyun’s cue, watching briefly as Mina steps up to speak. She hurries to get the velvet pillow the crown sits atop, holding it delicately as she resumes her position so she can watch Mina give her speech. 

“Welcome,” Mina’s voice is strikingly different from how it sounded when she was speaking with Dahyun earlier. She sounds more reserved, more commanding, even with just one word. “It is an honor to have so many people here to watch me ascend to the throne. I hope that I will not disappoint as a monarch, and that we are all willing to be open minded, for I am not old fashioned.” She takes a deep breath, eyes flitting around the room until they land on Dahyun. She half smiles, and then, “Things will be very much so different under my rule, but I am hopeful it will be for the better. For now, let us all celebrate.” 

Then, she steps back, and the King steps up. Dahyun forces herself to take a quick breath before she starts walking forward, taking rhythmically paced steps, hating that everyone is looking at her. She learned as she was standing with all of the other servants who the rest of the crowd was. There are the Queens Sana and Momo, Mina’s cousins. Princess Tzuyu, from their closest allied nation, and her parents. Duchess Nayeon is Mina’s friend from childhood. And then the advisory board that will be Mina’s council for decision making. 

Dahyun focuses on Mina, who glows like an angel, who watches Dahyun intensely, so much so that Dahyun doesn't realize there’s a step up to where the royal family stands, and she half trips, choking on a cry as she clutches the crown, saving it from falling. It’s to her surprise that Mina hurries down the two steps to take her hand, frowning, whispering, “Are you alright?” 

“I am so sorry,” Dahyun says fearfully. “I-I was not p-paying enough a-attention, and-” Mina shushes her quickly. 

“No need to fret, come on,” She leads Dahyun up the steps, still clutching her hand. Then she gives Dahyun a reassuring smile, letting her go, walking back to her place. 

Dahyun approaches the King with shame filled eyes and red cheeks, but he seems unaffected, smiling genially at her as she takes the crown off the pillow. “You may stand at the edge, there, if you so choose.” He tells her, gesturing to the edge of the raised platform. She nods, and hurries to where he points, watching with rapt attention. 

“It is hereby from this day onward,” He starts in a louder, booming voice. “That Princess Mina Sharon Myoui is crowned Queen.”

Mina tips her head down to allow the crown to be placed on it, and the whole room errupts into applause. Dahyun smiles as she watches Mina turn to the congregation and curtsy, looking pink cheeked with joy. 

It is afterwards, when Dahyun is making to leave and go back to the servants quarters to have a late meal, that she feels a warm hand on her shoulder. She turns abruptly, finding herself face to face with Mina. Her first thought is that she hadn’t realized Mina was a few inches taller than her, and she feels absolutely miniscule in her presence, especially now that she wears such a decadent crown. 

“Are you feeling better now? Less dizzy?” Mina asks sweetly, eyes full of worry. “You looked as if you were going to pass out even before you tripped.” 

“I am fine,” Dahyun half smiles. “I am truly sorry for that mistake, your Highness. I hope it did not ruin everything.” 

“Nothing to worry yourself over,” Mina is so kind, though still reserved. Dahyun cannot imagine how anyone could find her cold. “I am realizing now I do not know your name.” 

Dahyun’s voice shakes as she says, “Kim Dahyun.”

“Well, it was lovely to meet you, Miss Kim,” Mina leans closer to tuck a loose hair that escaped from Dahyun’s ponytail behind her ear. “I hope to see you more around the palace.” 

“I am always in the basement, if you want to find me,” Dahyun laughs, nervous, heart slamming against her sternum. “There is never a break in laundry.” 

Mina’s gaze drifts to her hands, frowning when she notices how raw and red they look. She sighs, pulling her gaze back up. “Do take care of yourself.” She smiles like they’re sharing a funny joke. “I suppose that it is my first order as Queen.” 

Dahyun laughs, a real one this time, almost despite herself. “I will try, your Majesty.” 

“Goodnight, Miss Kim,” Mina says finally, in parting, and Dahyun feels her cheeks flush. 

“Goodnight, your Highness. Sleep well.” Dahyun whispers back in reply, and as she walks back to the servants quarters, all she can think about is how really, Mina is only misunderstood. She is not cold, and she is passionate about ruling. She just wants to do it her way, and Dahyun admires that more than anything else.


	2. Chapter Two

The week after Mina’s coronation is peaceful. Really, it is nearly the same as before, save for the fact the laundresses now join the rest of the servants for meals in the Great Hall. It was Mina’s first executive order as Queen, not to isolate them from everyone else, and Dahyun could see it in the faces of everyone she worked alongside when they were told that they were incredibly grateful. Amongst all of the young maids, there is talk of when Mina’s handmaidens will be chosen. Every Queen typically has two to three handmaidens, appointed by her advisors, to aid her closely. It is the most coveted position in the entire palace, but Dahyun doesn’t think much of it. It would be odd, she thinks, to have to live so closely with someone so important, and someone she does not know at all save for a few conversations. 

Truly, the only one things have changed for is Mina. Her parents were moved to what was described as their retirement home, a nice cottage on the sea shore, and she herself has been moved into the Master Chambers. Dahyun knows this because she was instructed to help clean and prepare it, hand washing all of the bed linens and towels for the room, folding all of Mina’s more casual clothing and hanging her gowns for her. It is a large room, with a small sitting area on one side and the bed on the other. There is a plush velvet loveseat and a small dining table, along with the large bed. Dahyun cannot understand why one person would need a bed that size, until she remembers that it is meant for two people, and that one day Mina will share that bed with someone. A husband. 

There is a door that leads to the bathing chambers, and another door that houses a smaller room with two cots, which Dahyun is told will be where Mina’s handmaidens stay. Again, she is left thinking about the girls who will sleep only a door away from the Queen, and Mina does not even get a say in who they will be. Dahyun has seen her swarmed by her advisors at dinner, as they all dine at the high table in the Great Hall, and Mina often looks unamused with their conversation. Dahyun keeps stealing glances at the Queen during meals, hoping Mina will look back at her, but she never does. And Dahyun starts to wonder why she’s even hoping for their eyes to meet in the first place. She does follow Mina’s orders, making sure to rub salve on her hands every night so they will be more resilient to the work she does. Perhaps she was only hoping Mina would notice she had listened, and followed instruction. 

“Miss Kim, to the Throne Room, swiftly,” the Head Maid says one day, a week and a half after the coronation. Dahyun sighs, setting her laundry down, drying her hands off on a rag, and then she follows the Head Maid up the steps and into the main palace, down to the Throne Room. It is different than the last time she was in there, only one tall throne now instead of the three. Mina sits on the throne, looking serious, discussing something heatedly with one of her advisors. Her gown is beautiful, though very revealing for a Queen, a sleeveless velvet bodice with a flowing, dark green skirt made of tulle. Dahyun loves the fabrics, having so many times held them in her hands at the market, wishing she could buy them. She loves to sew, but she wishes so desperately she could work with better, more expensive fabrics. As she realizes aside from the Head Maid she is the only servant in the Throne Room, she starts to panic. Has she done something wrong? 

“Ah, Miss Kim,” Mina notices her, smiling brightly, waving her over. She then turns to her advisor, still standing at her side. “Thank you, Miss Lee, but I would like to do this privately.” 

“Yes, your Majesty,” Her advisor nods, and then she turns on her heel and leaves. 

Dahyun curtsies deeply, head bowed, hoping to make up at least somewhat for whatever she did. She really, really hopes she will not be fired. She prays as desperately as she can, finally forcing herself to look back up and meet Mina’s gaze. 

“It is nice to see you again,” Mina starts, voice quiet, more human. When she speaks to crowds, addressing the palace or her advisors as a whole, Dahyun can definitely see that cold side of her. Her voice is sharp, gaze icy, demeanor powerful. But now, she is delicate, eyes warm like burnt honey, and lips forming soft, hushed tones. “I have something I would like to discuss with you.” 

“Have I done something wrong, your Grace?” Dahyun feels herself embarrassingly beginning to cry a little. 

“No, no, goodness no!” Mina assures her quickly, allowing her to breathe a little easier. “Quite the opposite, actually.” The older woman takes a steadying breath, preparing herself. “The talk of the palace this past week or so has been the appointing of my handmaidens, I am sure you have heard. Truly, my advisors should be choosing a few maids for me.” Mina rolls her eyes, chuckling. “But I do not trust their choices a whit.” Dahyun finds herself laughing nervously again as Mina reaches to take both hands. 

“Are you asking me to suggest people?” Dahyun whispers. “For I do not know hardly anyone well enough to recommend they care for you so closely, and-”

“You ramble when you are nervous, Miss Kim,” Mina points out with a sweet giggle, one that makes Dahyun’s stomach twist and turn. “What I am trying to say is; I would like you.” 

“Me?” It’s barely a squeak, her throat constricting with nervousness, keeping her from saying more. 

“If you will accept, I have chosen you to be my only handmaiden,” Mina clarifies, and Dahyun thinks she may faint. The most coveted position in the palace, one she didn’t give a single thought to because she figured she would never be considered, and Mina herself chose Dahyun for it. She doesn’t mean to, but she bursts into tears, small hands coming to conceal her face as she cries. “Oh dear, I…” Mina frowns, unsure what to do. “I did not mean to upset you.” 

“N-No, I…” Dahyun chokes on her words, forcing herself to take a shuddering breath, and then, “I am simply shocked, and grateful, your Highness.” Her knees give out and she feels herself sink to the ground, and she is shocked when she peeks up to see Mina has gotten off the throne and kneels next to her. “So long as this display of emotions has not made you change your mind, I accept the position wholeheartedly.” Dahyun tries to smile, and Mina gives her this look so full of fondness it makes her heart ache in her chest. 

“Dry your eyes, dear,” Mina reaches to wipe the tears away, affection in her gesture. “We must move you into your new chambers.” She is helped to her feet by Mina, still unsteady on her legs, and then she is led out of the Throne Room hurriedly. All of Mina’s advisors wait in a cluster outside the door for her, and Mina rolls her eyes when she sees them, though she does grin and say, “She accepted, you may all go about your business.” 

It feels like a whirlwind as Dahyun is led to the Master Chamber, which looks homier now, having been lived in for a week. There are books in the bookshelf, candles on the bedside tables, a painting hanging on the far right wall that Mina must have chosen herself. Mina leads her into the small chambers, which has been rearranged to only have one cot now, and Dahyun peers around, heart fluttering nervously. 

“I will see to it that someone moves your things in,” Mina clarifies in a low voice. She stands so closely behind Dahyun the younger girl can practically feel her. “You may do whatever you like with the room, to make it yours. I hope you will feel at home in here.” 

“Thank you, your Majesty,” Dahyun breathes in a barely audible whisper. She turns, and she and Mina face each other, eyes leveling. The eye contact she had so desired now burns into her, Mina’s eyes melting her into a puddle, leaving her speechless and a bit warm. “What exactly are my duties, as handmaiden?” Her voice wavers, but she is unsure why. 

Mina gives her a smile she does not quite understand. “Come sit with me, and we will discuss it.” Dahyun is surprised when she is led to sit at one of the chairs at the small dining table, while Mina goes to the fireplace and begins to brew them tea. It is an easy job that given her position she should have asked Dahyun to do, but she seems content enough doing it herself. She has no qualms about kneeling in her gown, though it must have been expensive to make, and Dahyun finds herself again studying her Queen as she is absorbed in putting things into the boiling water. There is mint leaves, and the peels of something Dahyun doesn’t recognize. 

The tea is served in delicate, expensive china, and Dahyun feels wrong even touching it, let alone drinking from it. She takes a small sip as Mina watches her, now seated opposite her, holding her own cup but not drinking yet. The tea is warm, and the taste is so lovely Dahyun makes an audible sound of contentment, and she can’t help her smile. “This is wonderful,” She whispers, eyes fluttering back down to the cup and then back to Mina. 

“It is mint and orange,” Mina tells her, head tilted to the side, a fond smile playing on her lips. “An odd combination, but it is my personal favorite.” 

“Orange?” The word is foreign on Dahyun’s tongue, and it makes her frown. She hates to feel stupid, though she is well aware she is much less educated than Mina is. The books Mina owns alone show that, for Dahyun cannot even read. Her upbringing never allowed time for school or even at home education, she always had to be in the fields working with her family. 

“Ah you must not have them where you are from,” Mina replies easily, no judgement in her voice. “They are fruit we grow here in the South.” 

“Are they the funny looking apples on the trees outside?” Dahyun asks without thinking, immediately flushing in shame when she realizes her candor. She relaxes when Mina gives her a soft laugh, and reaches to squeeze her hand as she did the first night they met. 

“No, those are peaches,” Mina answers, eyes glittering with joy. “You must try one if you have never had them, they are so sweet.” 

“I would like that,” Dahyun agrees shyly, cheeks still pink. “We have apples at home, and berries in the summertime.” 

“Berries in the summertime,” Mina repeats, eyes still dragging over Dahyun, still making the younger girl feel like her bones are jelly. “I adore the way you speak.” 

“What do you mean?” Dahyun feels her throat squeeze as she speaks, and her stomach tenses. She hates to think she sounds uneducated or odd somehow.   
“‘Funny looking apples’ and ‘berries in the summertime,’ things like that. You are so…” Mina waves her hand about, like she’s looking for the right word. “Precious.” 

“O-Oh…” Dahyun taps her fingers nervously on the table, heart hammering a million miles a minute. “Thank you, your Highness.” 

“Now, to answer your question,” Mina folds her hands, pushing her teacup a bit to the side, fixing a more serious look on Dahyun now. “Your job is simply to do what I ask, and I assure I will try not to ask for much. There are the things that are basic, like drawing baths, or helping me to… undress.” It makes all of the breath fly out of Dahyun’s lungs, and she knows she must look stunned. “I assure you I would not ask that of you if I did not have to, but what with the things I wear, it is nearly impossible to get them on and off without assistance.” 

“I understand, your Majesty,” Dahyun whispers, eyes dropping from Mina’s. She cannot get the image of the older woman undressing out of her mind no matter how hard she tries. “Whatever you need, I will do.” 

Mina stands suddenly, walking over to cup Dahyun’s cheek affectionately. Dahyun certainly had not expected Mina to be so touchy, but she seems to always want at least her eyes on the younger girl if not her hands. “You are too kind for your own good.” It feels almost like a reprimand, and it puts a sour taste in Dahyun’s mouth, but she swallows it, not speaking. “Now, will you come with me?” 

“Where to?” Dahyun asks as she stands, trailing Mina out of the chambers and down through the winding hallways and staircases of the palace. 

“To the gardens, to pick you a peach,” Mina says with a smile thrown over her shoulder, and Dahyun grins too, hurrying to catch up with her. It is a beautiful day outside, sun shining down and warming Dahyun’s skin as she follows Mina into the gardens. Her eyes wander, taking in all the flowers and trees and other plants. It’s mesmerizing, really, how intricately designed it is, how artful they’ve made nature. Mina walks gracefully to stand on tiptoe and study the peaches on one of the trees, lips pursed, eyes darting back and forth between all the fruits. Eventually she seems to find one that satisfies her, and she plucks it carefully, pressing it into Dahyun’s hands. “Go ahead, take a bite,” She coaxes as she notes Dahyun’s hesitation.

Dahyun sinks her teeth into it delicately, humming at the sweet flavor, eyes closing as she savors the taste, unable to see the fond smile playing on Mina’s lips while she watches the younger girl. “It is lovely,” Dahyun says finally, shy grin on her lips, and Mina beams that bright gummy smile at her, making her heart squeeze inside her chest.   
Once they leave the gardens, Dahyun realizes much of her job will simply be trailing Mina throughout the day, hurrying after her to accompany her to her study. Mina sits behind her gleaming wooden desk, quill perched between nimble fingers as she writes in script on parchment paper in front of her. Dahyun sits beside her, quiet as she watches, wishing she could understand what Mina writes. The study is very tidy, pristine in every aspect. There is a canvas map of the kingdom hanging on one wall, a window on the other showing the grounds and the horses stables. There are many bookshelves lining the wall behind Mina’s desk, and her parchment paper, pots of ink, and quills are organized neatly. 

“I must be quite boring like this, I do apologize,” Mina says suddenly after a long stretch of silence, sitting back in her chair, a long, tired breath escaping her lips. “You may read, if you would like. Something to keep you occupied while I am working.” 

“Ah, uhm,” Dahyun swallows thickly, that feeling creeping up again of being dumb, less than. “No thank you, your Majesty. I am content to observe.” 

Mina gives her the most puzzled look for a few long moments, and then, “Alright, if you so choose.” She goes back to writing, humming to herself absentmindedly, and then she speaks in a low voice, “I have two advisor positions to appoint, as two of my father’s advisors have retired.” 

“How will you choose?” Dahyun questions, genuinely intrigued. “Who do you pick from? 

“The nobles, who live in the village surrounding the kingdom,” Mina explains easily. “I believe I have two chosen, but I must run them by the remaining advisors.” 

“I could not imagine the amount of pressure you must be under,” Dahyun whispers, subconsciously moving her chair closer to Mina, now able to feel the warmth radiating from the older woman. “To do all of this on your own.” 

“It is better than doing it with someone incompetent,” She replies, putting her quill back into the pot of ink deftly. “As all the suitors my parents had chosen seemed to be.” 

“I am sure you will find someone,” Dahyun mumbles, fiddling with her apron. Suddenly Mina’s eyes are on her, giving her a look she has not seen yet, one that confuses her. 

“Maybe,” Is the only verbal response she receives. “I do not think there is anyone who can tolerate me enough to marry me.”   
Dahyun doesn’t quite know what to say to that, so she opts for silence. It is not long before they are summoned to dinner, and as Dahyun eats all she can think about is what Mina said. She can hardly believe that is true; Mina is so wonderful, she thinks, anyone would be lucky to marry her. She cannot fathom how anyone could not enjoy her, how they could be anything other than enamored with her bluntness, her drive, her forward thinking opinions. Even as she is making her way back to her new chambers, shuffling into the bathing chamber to draw Mina’s bath, it’s still stuck in her mind. She does find it incredible how there is water readily available from a pump in the room, and all she has to do is fill a bucket and heat it on the fire for there to be hot water. They rarely had warm baths at home, usually lukewarm at most. 

Mina enters the chambers just as Dahyun is pulling the bucket off of the fire, and the younger girl hurriedly apologizes, “I am sorry the bath is not ready yet, your Highness.” 

“Do not worry yourself with those sorts of things,” Mina tells her quietly. “If I wait I wait.” She walks over and helps Dahyun pick the bucket up, hauling it to the bathtub in the bathing chamber, guiding her in pouring it in slowly. The younger girl hurries to get one of the thin cotton towels in Mina’s bottom drawer of her armoire, placing it on the stand inside the bathing chamber, and then she shifts nervously from foot to foot, knowing what is to come next. “Could you…” Mina whispers, looking quite nervous herself. 

“Of course, your Majesty,” Dahyun breathes out, barely audible. She holds her breath as Mina turns, lifting her long silken hair so Dahyun can reach trembling fingers to undo the lacing on the back of her bodice. It feels like she couldn’t breathe if she tried when the gown slips down, and then it’s off, and Mina is incredibly tense, again turning to face Dahyun. 

“The corset,” She whispers, voice tight, and Dahyun sees what she means. Her corset is laced in the front, and Dahyun cannot understand why she would wear such a thing, but regardless she reaches and tugs at the strings until it’s loose and about to slip off as well. “You may go now, I am fine from here.” 

“Y-Yes, your Grace,” Dahyun keeps her gaze on the floor, but it was impossible to not catch glimpses of Mina’s body even just a little. Her skin is blemish free, beautifully tan, everything toned. Dahyun feels her legs a bit unsteady as she turns to exit the bathing chamber with a wavering, “Enjoy your bath, your Highness.” 

She tries to busy herself with laying out Mina’s nightgown for her, turning down the covers of her bed, fluffing the pillow, putting the fire out and extinguishing every candle except for one. It leaves the room in a hazy, golden glow, and Dahyun sighs heavily, wanting to rid herself of the odd feeling stuck inside her, making her stomach feel funny.


	3. Chapter Three

Sunlight streaming in the window rouses Dahyun from a pleasant sleep. The sun is rising outside, she can see, as she sits and rubs the sleep from her eyes, letting out a small sigh. She slips out of bed, dressing quickly in her smock and apron, twisting her hair into a low bun at the base of her neck. She shuffles into the small bathing chamber she has to splash a bit of cool water on her face, hoping to wake herself up, and then she tries to quietly sneak into Mina’s room without rousing her. The older woman is still asleep, Dahyun observes, as she softly pads over to the fireplace to start a fire. She looks so calm in sleep, not a trace of the stress that laces her face during waking hours visible. Dahyun admires her, how beautiful she looks even without all of the opulence of her gowns and tiaras; she thinks she might look even more beautiful without all of that nonsense. 

Mina hums a little under her breath, shifting under the covers. Dahyun’s back is turned to her now as she fiddles with starting a fire, trying to gently stoke the embers into a flame, wondering if she should be brewing tea or something when she has finally coaxed a fire into starting. “Good morning,” Mina’s voice startles her, and she jumps a little as she hurries to stand up, turning to face the older woman. She is propped up on one elbow, hair tousled and eyes half lidded with sleep, smiling as she watches Dahyun. 

“Good morning, your Highness,” Dahyun says shyly, cheeks pink. “I am sorry, I did not mean to wake you.” 

“I am a light sleeper,” Mina answers pleasantly, moving so she’s sitting on the edge of the bed. “Besides, it is better to start the day early.” 

“The sunrise is beautiful,” Dahyun likes that her window faces the east, so she can see the sun rising if she so desires. It was a nice sight to wake up to. 

“That it is,” Mina agrees, bare feet placing themselves on the ground, hem of her nightgown swishing around her ankles as she walks. “It is even more beautiful on the shore. Have you ever been by the sea?” 

“No, I have not,” Dahyun had never even thought of what the seashore might be like, but now she thinks she’d like to know. “Is it enjoyable?” 

“It is magical,” Mina grins as she rifles through a metal tin of ingredients to make tea. “I will have to take you sometime.”  
“You are kind,” Dahyun feels her heart squeeze inside her chest, making her feel odd. “Your Majesty, let me make the tea.” She frowns, feeling as if she isn’t doing her job properly. 

“Sit,” Mina waves her away easily. “I enjoy things like this.” Dahyun sighs, opting to make Mina’s bed for her instead of sitting, occasionally sneaking glances at her while she’s brewing the tea. Dahyun wonders why she insists on doing something so mundane, a task by all definitions meant for Dahyun, but she figures she shouldn’t question Mina. Mina glances over her shoulder, chuckling under her breath when she sees Dahyun still up on her feet doing things. “You are stubborn.” 

“I am only doing my job,” Dahyun’s voice is small, and she feels bad now that she didn’t actually listen to what Mina said. She half wonders if her stubbornness will get her in trouble. 

“I say that with affection,” Mina assures her, taking the teapot off the fire and setting it on the small table, fiddling with the china tea cups, pouring out two cups and waving Dahyun over. “Stubbornness is admirable.” Dahyun feels her breath catch a little, eyes falling to the ground as she reaches for her tea cup, sipping from it delicately. It’s different than the mint and orange, a flavor she knows; cinnamon. “I have been told I am stubborn myself.” 

“Should a Queen not be stubborn?” Dahyun asks softly, eyes flicking back up and settling on Mina again. She looks so much younger in just a plain nightgown, hair mussed from sleep, eyes warm. 

“Many people are old fashioned, and would prefer I be passive,” Mina sighs, taking a moment to sip from her tea. “Many people thought my father was insane for allowing me power without a husband.” 

“You should marry for love,” Dahyun frowns. She hates the idea of Mina with anyone she doesn’t absolutely adore, feels sick at imagining her sharing her bed with someone she can’t stand. “That is why we marry in my village.” 

“That is a sweet sentiment,” Mina remarks, sounding distant. “I never considered that to be an option for me, it was always assumed I would marry whomever my parents picked. But between you and I, they have bad taste,” She laughs, and it makes Dahyun giggle too. “I will have to marry eventually, but it will be much later. I am not ready to share the throne yet, no matter how selfish that may be.” 

“It is not selfish, your Grace,” Dahyun insists, and for some odd reason she wants to reach out and take Mina’s hand, to try and steady her. “It is yours rightfully, and you will rule well, I am sure.” 

“You are very kind to me, Miss Kim,” Mina whispers, a soft smile playing on her lips. 

Once they have finished their tea, and the china has been delicately rinsed, Dahyun stands a ways behind Mina as the older woman chooses the dress she will wear, sighing frustratedly under her breath. “I will have to look into hiring a seamstress soon.” 

“I sew, your Majesty,” Dahyun offers quietly, hands fluttering at her sides out of nervousness. “I mean, I have not been professionally trained, but I sewed all of my family’s clothing and quilts for years.” 

Mina fixes her with a gaze Dahyun can only describe as full of admiration. “You are willing to sew?” She asks, offering a hand, pulling Dahyun over to look through the gowns. “It is complicated, to sew things like this.” 

“I can learn,” Dahyun says adamantly. “I will learn.” Mina squeezes the hand still in her grasp, moving so she is leaning over Dahyun’s shoulder, their cheeks nearly pressed together.

“You are so special, Miss Kim,” She whispers, and Dahyun feels like she must be red from heel to head. “I feel incredibly lucky to know you.” 

The sweetness of her words linger in the atmosphere as a gown is picked, and Dahyun nervously laces her corset for her and helps slip the dress on, trying to take normal breaths as she ties it in the back. It is a deep maroon color, with short sleeves that are slightly off the shoulder, a fairly modest sweetheart neckline, and a silver silk ribbon around the waist. That is the last thing Dahyun ties, and Mina combs through her hair as Dahyun meticulously makes the bow look nice. 

“Which crown will you wear today, your Highness?” Dahyun tries to make small talk, stepping back and nodding to herself, satisfied with the way the bow looks. 

“Hm,” Mina opens the cabinet that holds her crowns, looking them over, settling for the smallest one, the diamond tiara she usually wears. “They are heavy,” She says lightheartedly, still holding it in her hands as she walks back over to Dahyun. “Feel what I mean,” She reaches and places it atop Dahyun’s head, making the younger girl’s eyes go wide in surprise. “Do you see?” 

“It is heavy,” Dahyun admits with a half smile, and Mina smiles too, like her joy is contagious somehow. 

“Some days I consider forgoing one,” Mina continues, placing the tiara on her own head, settling it gently so it will stay in place. “But it is tradition to wear it.” 

“You look beautiful,” Dahyun offers, words tumbling out of her mouth without permission. She feels mortified when she realizes how forward that is, but Mina doesn’t seem bothered by it. 

“Thank you, Miss Kim,” She sighs, sweet smile still on her lips. “Shall we go and truly begin the day?” 

They leave her chambers side by side, chatting amongst themselves as they walk the corridors. Everyone they pass by greets Mina with a curtsy, to which she gives a polite smile each time. Dahyun wonders if she should be more professional, and curtsy more with Mina, but that seems odd to her. When it’s just the two of them she half forgets their places in the social order, because Mina treats her like she is worth something, like she’s worth everything. 

Just as they are rounding the corner to the staircase that will lead them upstairs to Mina;s study, a guard is hurrying towards them, breathlessly calling, “Your Majesty!” 

“Please tell me nothing is the matter,” Mina breathes out nervously, moving instinctively towards Dahyun. 

“Nothing is the matter, I am sorry for my haste, it is just that you have a guest in the foyer demanding your presence,” The guard clarifies, making Mina furrow her brow. 

“We were not expecting any guests for nearly another two weeks,” She says slowly, but the guard only gives her a hopeless shrug. “In any case it is not your worry, thank you kindly for telling me sir.” Then Dahyun is rushing to keep up with Mina, almost running, her legs unable to carry her as quickly as Mina moves. Mina has a puzzled look on her face as she steps through the archway into the foyer, which melts into a look of understanding as her eyes fall on the woman waiting for her. Dahyun stays in the archway even as Mina bolts forward to hug the guest tightly. 

“You kept me waiting!” The woman laughs, hugging Mina back just as tight. 

“I did not know you were coming,” Mina sounds so happy, breathless with joy, and even when they part from their hug their hands stay interlocked. 

“I wanted to surprise you, your Highness,” It’s clearly a joke coming from this guest’s mouth, and it makes Mina laugh and roll her eyes. 

“Miss Kim, come here,” Mina calls, waving her over. Dahyun nervously steps into the foyer, dropping to curtsy in front of the woman, feeling out of place. “Nayeon, this is my handmaiden. Miss Kim, this is my best friend, Nayeon.” 

“It is a pleasure to meet you,” Dahyun says softly. She knows who this is now, feeling dumb she hadn’t recognized her; it is the Duchess, Mina’s childhood friend, who was at the coronation. 

“You as well,” Dahyun is stunned when Nayeon returns the curtsy, smiling cheerily at her. “I hope Mina is not too bothersome to you. She can grow quite annoying.” 

“You are horrible!” Mina laughs, a real laugh that makes her eyes crinkle at the corners and her cheeks grow rosy. “I have been very nice to her.” 

“You know I’m only joking,” Nayeon sighs, smiling fondly at Mina. Dahyun feels her heart jolting in her chest, like she’s walked in on something she shouldn’t be seeing. 

“Why did you not warn me you were visiting, now I have nothing prepared for you.” Mina asks as the pair start walking off, Dahyun silently trailing behind them. She feels very, very odd now, and she misses the chatter she had been graced with by Mina up until this point. 

“Just put me any old place, you know I do not want anything fancy,” Nayeon replies easily. “Have you eaten yet?” 

“I was not planning on eating this morning,” Mina sighs. “I have work to do.” 

“What, and you will let the poor girl go without eating as well?” The frown on Nayeon’s face is evident in her voice. Dahyun tenses at them discussing her, though there is nothing bad being said. 

“I would have sent her to go get food, I am not terrible,” Mina elbows Nayeon hard in the side, making her shriek and jump away. “Miss Kim,” Mina turns abruptly, the familiar warm look in her eyes as she settles her gaze on Dahyun. “Come here for a moment.” Dahyun hurries to catch up with them, nervously chewing at her bottom lip. “You are free to do whatever you please today, alright? The palace is yours to explore, and if you need anything simply ask and someone will get it for you.” Dahyun knows what this means; she is supposed to leave Mina alone for the day. She doesn’t trust her voice, so she simply nods, trying to ignore the anxiety curling in her stomach. “I will see you tonight.” Mina offers her a smile, but it falls when Dahyun cannot manage one back. 

Dahyun is unsure what to do with herself without Mina’s schedule to follow, and she finds herself wandering the palace aimlessly, trying to push away the weird pit of anxiety in her stomach everytime she wonders what Mina and Nayeon are doing. Only as she is passing the staircase that leads to the laundry room downstairs does she remember her promise to sew, and she nearly flings herself down the steps, hurrying to the fabric room, peering around looking for what she wants. She figures at least this way, even if she is not with Mina, she is doing something for her, thus still doing her job. 

She settles on some beautiful emerald silk, snagging a sewing needle and thread as well as some shears, and then she’s hauling the roll off and up the stairs and back to Mina’s chambers. She shuts the door to her small bedroom behind her, laying the materials out on her bed, lips pursed as she thinks about how to do this. She has never gone off measurements before, somehow she could look at someone’s figure and make clothing that fits well enough. But this isn’t some smock that will be worn to plant in the fields or pick crops, this will be a gown for the Queen. It has to be perfect. 

In her mind she envisions Mina’s proportions while she starts delicately cutting the fabric, starting first with the skirt, making it longer than she thinks it needs to be, knowing she can hem it later. Dahyun tries to lose herself in working on the gown, enjoying the feeling of being busy with something, humming songs under her breath while she works, painstakingly sewing it as perfectly as she can, trying to make it so the thread lines aren’t terribly visible, smoothing the skirt out what feels like a thousand times as she’s finally connecting it to the bodice of the gown. 

“Miss Kim?” Mina’s soft voice floats through the chamber, her footsteps padding closer and closer to Dahyun’s door. 

“Wait!” Dahyun squeaks, heart thrumming nervously. “I-I have a surprise for you, p-please wait.” 

“Alright,” Mina agrees quietly, and then the footsteps retreat. Dahyun looks the gown over once, twice, three times before deciding it is finished, and ready to be displayed. She ever so carefully picks it up, making sure it doesn’t touch the floor as she carries it into Mina’s chambers, nervously awaiting a response when she faces Mina, who is sitting on the edge of her bed. Mina’s face lights up in shock, eyes wide, looking the gown over again and again, a stunned smile spreading across her face. “You spent all day on this?” 

“Yes, your Highness,” Dahyun whispers, trying to stay calm, desperate to know what Mina thinks. “Do you like it?” 

“I love it,” Mina whispers, standing, reaching fingers out to brush the fabric. “I am so touched you did this. Why did you spend all that time making something for me?” 

“I still wanted to be of service,” Dahyun says quietly. “Despite not being at your side.” 

Mina’s hand drifts from the gown to caress Dahyun’s cheek, an almost sad look on her face. “There are not enough words to express how sweet you are.” 

“Will you try it on?” Dahyun asks suddenly, anxious to see how it fits. Mina smiles at her eagerness, nodding, turning so Dahyun can pull the ties on the dress she’s wearing loose. The odd feeling from the previous night returns in Dahyun’s stomach as she’s pulling Mina’s dress down, helping her slip the new one on, fingers accidentally brushing over warm, tan skin, fluttering away quickly. Once it’s on properly Dahyun asks, “Does it fit? I can hem the bottom if it is too long.” 

“It is perfect,” Mina beams, a smile that could light up the world. “Thank you so much for doing this,” She takes Dahyun’s hands, their faces close, and Dahyun melts a little, feeling somewhat back to normal. Everything feels so warm, and the room seems golden and glowing, as she feels her hands beginning to tremble in Mina’s grasp. “Are you alright?” Mina whispers, concern spreading over her features. “You are trembling.” 

“I-I am fine,” Dahyun manages, but she isn’t positive she is. She hates this funny feeling that permeates her so frequently now, one she cannot identify the cause of. 

“Go lie down,” Mina tells her, pulling her to her small chamber. “Rest, and you will feel better tomorrow.” 

“But your bath, a-and-” Dahyun tries to protest, but Mina pushes a finger up to her lips and silences her, making her gasp a little in surprise. “Undo my dress, and that is all I will ask of you tonight, okay?”

So Dahyun helps her unlace the gown and her corset, hurriedly looking away, bidding her goodnight as she shuffles off to her small cot. Despite her tiredness, her mind will not settle, and she finds herself awake even as she can hear Mina moving around to draw her own bath, and then silence falls for a long time. It has been nearly an hour, Dahyun thinks, when she hears soft footsteps padding towards her door, and then it’s creaking open and she quickly shuts her eyes, burrowing down in her bed a little. The light from Mina’s chambers falls in slivers into her room as the older woman pokes her head in the doorway, and even with her eyes closed Dahyun can feel Mina’s eyes on her. 

“Sleep well, dear,” Mina whispers, barely audible, but it rings in Dahyun’s ears, making her whole body feel like it’s on fire long after Mina has shut the door again and gone to her own bed.


	4. Chapter Four

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm v v v insecure abt this chapter,, pls don't judge it too harshly i tried my best :(

Dahyun is pleased to be back in Mina’s study, in her chair right next to Mina, peering over the older woman’s shoulder. They had both roused around nearly the same time again, eating a small breakfast before heading straight to Mina’s study. Dahyun doesn’t ask where Nayeon is, though it does puzzle her that Mina’s friend isn’t with them, capturing all of the Queen’s attention again. She figures there must be pressing work to do, even Nayeon can’t distract Mina from that. For the past few days of Nayeon’s stay she’s been the focal point of all of Mina’s going ons, and Dahyun hated to admit she was sort of wishing Nayeon would just go home. 

Silence fills the air, the only sound the subtle scratching of Mina’s quill against the parchment she writes on. Dahyun tries to find something to steady her attention on, first starting by watching out the window as the horses graze in their pasture. Her mind wanders easily, though, as do her eyes, and she begins to take in all of the small details of the study. The windows are large enough that no candle needs to be lit to keep the space bright. A large painting of who Dahyun is pretty sure is Mina’s father hangs on the right wall, next to the map of the kingdom, and it makes Dahyun wonder whether Mina’s portrait will replace it soon. She allows her eyes to drift to Mina herself, watching with rapt attention the hand that moves swiftly across the parchment, script covering the pages. It feels odd to be enraptured with watching someone’s hand, but Dahyun is, admiring the rings decorating Mina’s fingers and her polished, manicured nails, how expertly she handles her writing utensil. 

They both jump when a loud knock sounds at the study’s door, Nayeon letting herself in even with no response. Dahyun quickly goes to stand, offering Nayeon her chair, knowing that amongst the three of them she should be the one to stand. “No, no, sit,” Nayeon tells her, waving to gesture she be seated again. “I would prefer to stand.” So, Dahyun sits, albeit reluctantly. Mina places her quill in the pot of ink, folding her hands under her chin and fixing her gaze on Nayeon. 

“Remember how we spoke about the work I have to do,” Mina starts, though her tone is lighthearted even as she is reprimanding her friend. “And I shouldn’t be bothered.” 

Nayeon laughs freely, replying, “I can be here while you work and not bother!”

“That is not true,” Mina sighs, but she doesn’t tell Nayeon to get out, clearly indicating Nayeon has won. For awhile, they do all fall quiet again, Mina back to focusing on her work. Nayeon peers around the study, and Dahyun studies Nayeon. She always looks polished, typically donning tea length gowns - today’s in a pale periwinkle - and white gloves that stop just after her wrists. Her hair is styled in loose, neat curls, framing her face nicely. She is pretty, Dahyun thinks to herself, and very nice as well. She has been nothing but polite to Dahyun every time they’ve interacted, overly polite considering their difference in social status.

“Mina, when will you have your portrait done?” Nayeon asks suddenly, drawing everyone out of their respective focus. 

“Ah, when I find the time,” Mina answers, sighing a little. “The idea of sitting and doing nothing for so long when I could be working is frustrating to me.” 

“But it is tradition,” Nayeon says pointedly. “And you will look magnificent.” 

“You are biased,” Mina sits back in her chair, holding the parchments in front of her and reviewing them. “Will you tell me if you think my choice of advisors is sound?” 

“Of course,” Nayeon nods, walking forward to take the parchment and read over what’s been written. “This is your proposal?” 

“Yes,” Mina affirms, fingers tapping rhythmically on the desk while Nayeon reads. “I will have quite a battle with the rest of the council for those two, but they are who I want.” 

“Yoo Jeongyeon and Park Jihyo,” Nayeon hums under her breath. “Are they not a bit young for the council?” 

“They are older than I,” Mina reminds her. “In any case, it will do the council good to have some young, more open minds. The youngest now is Sunmi, and she is still quite a bit older than I am.” 

“You will have quite the battle,” Nayeon remarks. “But your proposal is perfect.” 

“I need to make sure they are officially elected to council before the end of the month,” Mina sounds stressed now as she speaks about it, and it makes Dahyun furrow her brow in worry. 

“And why is that?” Nayeon presses, passing the parchment back. 

“That Duke is coming to court me, and I need as many people on the council as possible who will support my decision to reject him,” The explanation makes Dahyun cringe a little internally, feeling terrible knowing Mina will have to put up with someone vying for her affection when she so obviously is not ready to marry. 

“You will not even give him a chance?” Nayeon laughs, shaking her head. “You will never marry if you continue rejecting every man you meet.” 

“I am not marrying a man anytime soon,” Mina says firmly, her tone enough to quiet Nayeon. “They are all solely interested in taking my kingdom from me, and they will degrade me to nothing more than a housewife. This throne is mine rightfully, and I am not giving it up to someone who cares more about power and money than me.” 

“There will be someone eventually who will love you, truly,” Nayeon says after some time, voice hushed. “Do you not want to know what it is like to love someone?” 

“Perhaps eventually,” Mina sounds distant as she replies, the topic clearly getting under her skin. Dahyun shifts closer to her instinctually, hoping to offer some comfort. “For now, I am content on my own. The only companion I need right now is Miss Kim.” She glances over to Dahyun with a small smile, and Dahyun smiles back, feeling like they are sharing something between just the two of them that’s special. 

~

The morning the Duke is set to arrive, Mina is irritable from the moment she rouses. Dahyun frets over it, worrying as always about Mina’s well being. She has been by Mina’s side for nearly a month, and it has already been the best days of her life. She has a special place in her heart for Mina and thinks of her constantly, even if they are apart for some reason.

“If I manage to make it to the end of this day without yelling at someone, it will be a miracle,” Mina huffs under her breath as Dahyun is lacing up her corset, making the younger girl frown slightly. 

“Why does he come if you do not wish him to?” Dahyun wonders aloud, bringing a heavy sigh from Mina. 

As she is aiding her in slipping on her dress - one Dahyun just made, of dusty pink tulle - she gets her reply. “His father and my father had a deal. They agreed that when I became Queen, he would be given the chance to court me. I would lock the gates up and tell him to turn right back around if it would not violate part of a treaty.” 

“I am sorry you must do these things,” Dahyun whispers, finishing typing her gown up, hating the stress on Mina’s face when she turns around. 

“It is not your fault,” Mina assures her. “I should be apologizing for being so insufferable about it.” 

“It is a situation in which I think anyone would be insufferable,” Dahyun offers, and she feels her heart soar when it makes Mina laugh. “Which crown will you wear, your Highness?” 

“Will you pick for me?” Mina asks softly, and Dahyun nods, feeling honored to be given a task like this. She lets her eyes roam over all of the crowns and tiaras in the cabinet, settling on a gold one with black jewels inlaid in it. She delicately picks it up and goes to pass it to Mina, but the older woman instead simply bows her head, leaving Dahyun to settle it on her head herself. It compliments her hair so beautifully; Dahyun had convinced her to wear it loose today, even brushing it for her. Everytime she has had the opportunity to brush Mina’s hair, she cherishes it, because it is so intimate and soothing to her. 

“Are you ready, your Majesty?” Dahyun asks her, wanting to reach out and take her hands to try and steady her. That is what she always did with her family whenever someone was growing stressed or ill, and it’s an instinct she always wants to act on. 

“As ready as I think I can be,” Mina says, and she looks so distraught that Dahyun cannot resist the urge any longer, reaching for her hands, holding them tenderly, trying to convey that everything will be alright. “Promise you will stay by my side?” Mina whispers this, clutching onto Dahyun’s hands like they’re an anchor. 

“The entire time I will be with you,” Dahyun assures her easily. She would never leave Mina alone with someone the woman didn’t know or trust. 

They make their way out of Mina’s chamber then, walking slowly through the halls to the parlor. It is a room in the palace Dahyun has never been in, as Mina doesn’t host guests often, and when it was Nayeon they did not do anything as formal as tea in the parlor. The furniture is made of plush, green velvet, and the ornate table is already set for tea. Mina leads Dahyun over to the loveseat on one side, sitting and waving for Dahyun to do the same. They have to be quite close given the smallness of the seat, but neither mind much. Mina crosses her ankles under her gown and Dahyun copies her, earning her a playful bump on the arm from Mina. 

“When will he arrive?” Dahyun asks, resisting the temptation to lean fully onto Mina. She is just so warm and smells so nice, Dahyun wants to be near her. 

“Soon, I believe,” Mina replies, eyes flitting to the Palladian style windows that show the bridge over the river and the gardens in the front of the palace. Almost as if she summoned a devil, a carriage pulls up to the gate at the bridge nearly fine minutes later. Dahyun feels Mina tense, though her face remains impassive now. 

“Shall we greet him at the door?” Dahyun whispers, like he could somehow hear her despite being outside the palace still. 

“No, we will wait for him to come to us,” Mina answers back equally as quiet, swallowing hard. 

A maid escorts the Duke into the parlor moments later, and Mina stands, walking over to face him. Dahyun stands as well, though she stays aways behind Mina and watches them greet one another. 

“Your Highness,” the Duke says, bowing deeply. “It is a delight to finally meet you.” 

Mina curtsies just barely, and then she says a cold, “Pleasure.” 

“Shall we sit for tea?” the Duke suggests, earning a curt nod from Mina. She walks back towards the loveseat and tugs Dahyun by the arm so they still end up sitting side by side, the Duke having to take the chair opposite them. “Should we not be sat side by side instead?” He tries to joke, though it only makes Mina purse her lips. 

“I do not find that would be appropriate, considering we do not know one another,” She replies in an icy voice. Dahyun understands now why people find Mina cold and hard to approach, and she feels grateful Mina has extended such warmth to her. 

“Yet you find it appropriate to have a maid join us?” the Duke remarks, and Dahyun could swear she can see steam coming from Mina’s ears with how mad she is. The comment doesn’t sit particularly well with Dahyun either, but she is quite used to being disrespected. Mina, however, seems to take the comment to heart on Dahyun’s behalf. 

“She is not any old maid, she is my handmaiden, and my companion,” The bite to Mina’s words give the air a tension that is palpable. 

“But I mean to say, should we not be getting to know one another, just the two of us?” the Duke tries to remedy. Dahyun could almost laugh at his poor attempt to correct the comment. 

“This meeting is nothing more than fulfilling a business arrangement,” Mina clarifies, stunning the Duke to silence. “I know your intentions are to find some way to charm me into giving you my position, but I am not a fool. You came here a Duke and you will leave as one, plain and simple.” 

A harsh silence falls over them for a second, and then the Duke is angrily spitting, “You will ruin this kingdom with that sort of nonsense. A woman needs a husband. That is how it has always been and always should be. You will be too weak willed to actually run the kingdom.” 

Dahyun watches Mina bite the inside of her cheek, clearly fighting the emotions trying to overtake her. Finally, Mina says, “The fact of the matter is, I am not just a woman, I am the Queen.” 

“A poor one, I am coming to find,” That seems to be the final straw, Mina not even mustering a reply, instead standing and leaving the parlor without a second glance at him. 

They both stand as if to make to follow her, but Dahyun quickly holds a hand out to stop him. “I think it would do you best to leave this to me, sir,” Dahyun says in a calm voice, watching the Duke grow red in the face out of anger. Despite that, he does listen, seating himself back down with a huff. Dahyun hurriedly makes her way to Mina’s chamber, where she knows the older woman will be.

“Your Highness?” She says softly into the dark room, unsure if Mina is actually in there or not, until she hears cries coming from her bed. Dahyun quickly lights a candle to illuminate the room, rushing to Mina’s side. 

“I made a fool of myself,” Mina sobs, refusing to pull her face away from the bed linens, shoulders shaking as she cries. 

“I think you were very admirable, your Grace,” Dahyun murmurs, reaching a tentative hand to stroke Mina’s hair. “He is much too forward, and clearly he cannot handle his emotions well enough to run much of anything. You made the right decision to be honest with him.”

Mina picks her head up, looking at Dahyun finally. She looks so vulnerable like this, tears tracked down her cheeks, eyes swollen and red. “You truly think so?” She whispers, and Dahyun nods adamantly. 

“Do not take to heart the insults he threw at you, they are baseless, obviously from a place of his own insecurity,” Dahyun goes on, and Mina simply watches her, lips quivering as she tries to hold back the next wave of tears. 

“I am sorry you are seeing me so weak,” She says in a hushed voice, but Dahyun rushes to tell her it’s alright. 

“You are only human,” Dahyun is shocked when Mina leans and hugs her, face buried into Dahyun’s torso given how she is sitting and Dahyun is standing. “Please do not doubt your ability, your Majesty. You are the most incredible Queen the palace has ever had.” 

“I really do not deserve you, Miss Kim,” Mina mumbles, and it makes Dahyun hug her closer. 

Once Mina has calmed enough, Dahyun goes to the bathing chamber and wets a towel so she can help clear the tears off of Mina’s face. It is a tender moment as Dahyun cups Mina’s face in her hand and dabs the tear streaks away ever so delicately. After a deep breath, Mina asks almost sheepishly, “Would you brush my hair?” 

“Yes, of course,” Dahyun says sincerely, though she half wonders where the request came from. Mina seats herself on the bed and Dahyun kneels in the spot behind her, using the ornate hair brush with delicate care, meticulously brushing every tangle out of Mina’s long, silken hair. She goes over parts much more than she needs to, wanting to prolong their time together before they must return to real life.

“It just seems to be the only thing that relaxes me,” Mina admits quietly, leaning her head back slightly so she’s closer to Dahyun. “I am sorry.” 

“I am happy to do it whenever you’d like,” Dahyun cannot hold back a smile, heart warmed at the thought that she can help Mina in any way. Quiet grows between them, but it is comfortable, Dahyun mulling over the events of the day already. It is barely turning to afternoon and yet today has felt so long.

Seemingly out of nowhere, Mina whispers, “Do you think Nayeon is right?” 

“About what, your Grace?” Dahyun asks, running her fingers through Mina’s hair to assure she has gotten every tangle out. 

“That I will never find love, if I continue rejecting everyone who courts me,” Mina explains, eyes falling closed the more Dahyun cards her fingers through her hair. She looks so relaxed Dahyun cannot bring herself to stop. 

“I think you will find love when you are not looking,” Dahyun answers plainly. 

“I just did not ever consider I would marry out of love,” Mina seems like she’s contemplating something. “When I was young, I never thought much of love. I did not have giddy crushes on boys in town like everyone expected me to. It was never a priority for me, I much preferred learning new things that would help me rule well.” She grows silent for a moment, but Dahyun know she isn’t finished speaking yet. “I know many languages, I can draw the kingdom map from memory, I can recite history books from memory. But I never learned how to let people in. I would have no one if Nayeon did not practically force friendship on me.” 

“You are simply reserved, and that is alright, I think,” Dahyun says finally. “I am not well versed in love either, so I am no expert, but I am positive that one day you will find someone who is patient enough to let you take your time being vulnerable with them.”

“You are so wise,” Mina turns so she can meet Dahyun’s eyes, smiling softly at her. “The way you speak, you sound as though you have divine knowledge.” 

“I simply say what I see, your Highness,” Dahyun feels her cheeks grow rosy at the compliment. 

Mina turns fully so she is sitting and facing Dahyun. “Thank you for being patient with me, Miss Kim. You are a saint.” 

“Anything for you,” Dahyun replies, and it is not simply out of duty. Even if she were discharged from being Mina’s handmaiden she would still do anything for the woman.

Mina hugs her again, surprising Dahyun just as much as the first time, though the touch is not unwelcome. They cling to one another for a few long moments, and then Mina murmurs, “We should be getting back to the parlor.” 

“That we should,” Dahyun whispers back, relishing in how safe it feels in Mina’s arms. 

When Mina pulls away, she presses a lingering kiss to Dahyun’s cheek, and then, “I did mean it when I said all I need is you.” 

“You flatter me too much,” Dahyun manages, heart fluttering unevenly in her chest.

They hold their eye contact for one more moment, and then with a solemn sigh Mina slides off the bed, smoothing out the skirt of her gown. Dahyun follows her, straightening her apron, then picking Mina’s crown up from where it had fallen onto the bed, replacing it where it’s meant to be. 

“How am I supposed to face this now?” Mina asks, and Dahyun sees her for the first time as not a confident, powerful ruler but a scared young adult. She begins to wonder just how old Mina is, because when she isn’t actively focused on being the Queen she looks so young. 

“Just take things one step at a time,” Dahyun advises, hoping that is decent enough advice. Mina nods, taking a slow breath, and then linking her arm through Dahyun’s so they can head out the door and finish the day.

Once tense apologies are exchanged between Mina and the Duke, the conversation continues though it is incredibly awkward. Dahyun stays at Mina’s side silently throughout the whole thing, trying to tune into the conversation and listen, but all she can think about for the rest of the day is how the spot on her cheek Mina kissed still feels warm.


	5. Chapter Five

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry it's taken awhile hhh work and school ukno 
> 
> i hope u guys enjoy pls tell me ur thoughts <3

The day after the Duke arrived and quickly departed, Mina is kept in meetings the entirety of the morning. Dahyun tries to find other tasks to busy herself with, meandering to the kitchen to help prepare lunch. She wonders as she chops vegetables and prepares the broth for the soup, what is being discussed in the meeting. It had very evidently been a source of worry for Mina the night before, her sleep fitful, Dahyun hearing her wake many times throughout the night to simply pace and then eventually her footsteps would halt and it would fall silent again. She assumes the Duke will be the main topic of discussion, and that must be what is wearing so heavily on Mina’s mind.

“Keep your head on your shoulders, child, goodness!” One of the kitchen ladies exclaims, tugging Dahyun’s hands away from what she was dicing. As it seems, she had been so lost in thought she was about to slice her finger open. 

“I am sorry, ma’am,” Dahyun apologizes, feeling sheepish. “My mind is far away today.” 

“Be careful with the knives,” The lady says pointedly, though it’s a reprimand full of warmth and caring. Dahyun has never had a motherly figure in all her life, her mother having died when she was very young. For all her life, she has been the one caring for others and taking care of them, but being in the kitchen she is by far the youngest, and they all watch over her as though she were their own. 

“You hardly work in here anymore,” Another lady, who has been kneading bread dough, says softly. Her smile is bright, and it makes Dahyun grin too. 

“I truly only have time to help out on days like these, when she is in meetings,” Dahyun explains, and they all nod, not having to ask who “she” is. Mina had very regretfully told Dahyun her morning would be occupied by the council, explaining she would allow Dahyun to join her in the meeting if it wasn’t against the law. It’s unavoidable, Dahyun understands that, though she does miss Mina badly. 

Lunch has just been plated to be sent up to the Great Hall when Mina comes bustling into the kitchen, clearly looking for Dahyun. “There you are!” Her eyes light up as soon as she spots Dahyun, waving her over. “I have been practically all over the palace trying to find you.”

“Well here I am,” Dahyun laughs softly, brushing the flour off her apron and walking to join Mina at her side, the two of them leaving the kitchen walking with their arms brushing. “How was the council meeting?” 

“Horrible,” Mina sighs, sounding tired. “They fight my every decision. I told them the Duke is not a suitable partner for me, for many reasons other than me simply not liking him, and they think I am only trying to be stubborn. We spent nearly an hour arguing over my choice of council members, but that argument I won,” Mina waves two pieces of parchment up. “Their contracts have been drawn up, so I will meet with them this afternoon and ask if they are willing to join.” 

“You mean to say you did not win the argument about the Duke?” Dahyun asks softly, worried as she has been all morning Mina will be forced into something she hates. 

“We chose to shelve the argument for now,” Mina reassures her, turning to go up the steps so they can get to her study. “But I dislike losing, so I will make certain I win that argument as well,” She jokes, and Dahyun feels a weight lifting off her shoulders. 

They sit as they normally do in Mina’s study, Dahyun leaning into Mina’s side as the woman looks over the contracts with a careful eye. Rain is sputtering down outside, the window covered in droplets, but it is peaceful, and soothes Dahyun’s mind to listen to the rhythmic pattering on the palace roof. 

“Would you do me a favor?” Mina asks after awhile of silence. 

Dahyun perks up instantly. “Anything, your Highness.” 

Mina holds the pieces of parchment out to her and says, “Read these over for me, to make sure I am not missing something crucial.” 

Dahyun feels as though all of the air has been sucked out of her lungs. This is quite certainly the one task that no matter how hard she tries, she cannot do. Her ears are certainly bright red, as are her cheeks, as her eyes fall and her hands wring in her lap. “Your Majesty, I am sorry to say I do not think I can help you with this,” Her voice is shaky, though she fights to keep it steady.

“What do you mean?” Mina is truly puzzled, sounding worried she offended Dahyun somehow. 

“I cannot read,” It is a shame filled whisper that burns in the back of Dahyun’s throat, and despite her best efforts tears begin to track down her cheeks.

“Oh goodness, I am so sorry,” Mina feels terrible, it’s obvious in the tone of her voice. “I did not even think, that was very insensitive of me.” She picks Dahyun’s chin up ever so delicately, wanting to look Dahyun in the eyes. “Please, do not feel as though I was trying to insult your intelligence. You are most certainly the smartest person I know.”

“Thank you,” Dahyun murmurs, feeling warm under Mina’s gaze. It is Dahyun’s biggest insecurity, that she never had a formal education, and yet Mina thinks no differently of her. Mina, who speaks more languages than Dahyun even knew existed, who can recite poetry with ease, who writes pages upon pages of official legal documents daily; yet somehow she thinks Dahyun is the smartest person she knows.

“How about we take a break, and have lunch together?” Mina suggests, standing and offering a hand to Dahyun. “We can dine in my chamber and be back here before I have to meet with the new council members.” 

“That sounds quite nice,” Dahyun accepts the hand, shocked when Mina does not let go the entire walk throughout the palace corridors. She is glad, though, feeling as though Mina’s hand is an anchor to steady herself with. 

They dine quickly, chatting about mundane things. Dahyun points out which parts of the dishes she helped with, Mina listening with a fond smile on her lips as Dahyun rambles.

“Do you remember recipes from home?” Mina asks offhandedly, done with her food while Dahyun is still picking. She has noticed that Dahyun eats almost methodically, waiting nearly the same amount of time between bites as if she’s counting. 

“Yes, I did all of the cooking in my house,” Dahyun answers softly. “It was always hard, the nights when we had so little food, to scrape something together for everyone.” 

“I am terribly sorry you had to live like that,” Mina sounds pained just to say it, as though it is her personal responsibility Dahyun and so many others live in poverty.

“It is not your fault in the slightest,” Dahyun assures her earnestly. “You were not in power, there was not much you could do.” It was a commonplace thing, in Dahyun’s household, for her father to insult the royal family for how they let some of their citizens live. She never chimed in, only listened, but there was a small part of her that wondered why Mina’s parents did nothing. 

“My parents, well they meant the best,” Mina sounds so serious all of a sudden, it makes Dahyun’s heart skip a beat. “They seemed as though they lived in a bubble sometimes. I was not allowed to leave the palace until I was nearly fifteen, as they were scared for my safety. They did not tell me much of anything about the outer villages, like yours, as if they were trying to ignore all of the very serious problems happening there. It angered me - still angers me, how little they did.” She lets out a long breath. “When I turned eighteen, my father made me write out a list of things I wanted to accomplish when I became Queen. The very first thing on my list was to make sure everyone in my kingdom has food, shelter, and clean water at the very minimum. That is still at the top of my list.” 

Dahyun can see tears in Mina’s eyes, and it makes her feel as though things really could change for the people who still live like she used to. She has the sudden urge to hug Mina, and she can’t hold herself back as she rushes to the other side of the table and practically dives into Mina’s arms, happy when she feels arms clutching her just as tightly.

“I promise I will change things,” Mina whispers to her. “No matter how long it takes.”

“You have a heart of gold,” Dahyun tells her, meaning it with every fiber of her being. They hug for a long while, Dahyun ending up sort of sitting in Mina’s lap so they can stay entwined, Mina’s delicate hands resting with one on her back and one cradling her head. Eventually the time becomes more important, and they reluctantly have to pull away from each other, walking slowly back to Mina’s study with their hands still touching.

“Am I allowed to be present for these meetings?” Dahyun wonders aloud, hesitating in the doorway of the study as Mina enters. 

“I would not have made you walk all the way here with me just to kick you out,” Mina laughs, waving Dahyun to follow her in. “This will not be formal, they are practically friends of mine.” So Dahyun takes her place next to Mina, watching her fiddle with the things on her desk and make it look presentable, setting the contracts side by side with a quill on top of each one and a pot of ink between them.

It takes no more than half an hour for the pair to arrive, eyes bright as they smile at Mina and exchange greetings. “We have not seen one another in so long,” The shorter of the women says, and her counterpart nods in agreement.

“Well this is a happy occasion to see one another, and hopefully we will see more of each other,” Mina waves them over to look at the contracts. “These are the contracts the current council and I drew up this morning.”

“You are forgetting introductions, your Highness,” The taller woman teases, gesturing to Dahyun, earning her a playful glare from Mina.

“Miss Kim is my handmaiden,” Mina says, voice filled with pride that makes Dahyun’s cheeks turn rosy. “And this is Miss Yoo and Miss Park, they will hopefully be serving as the new members of the council.” 

As the conversation continues, Dahyun comes to learn that the taller one is Miss Yoo and the shorter one is Miss Park, though Mina calls them Jeongyeon and Jihyo respectively, voice filled with affection.

“Oh Mina, the salary,” Jihyo gives her a wide eyed look as she’s reading through the contract. “That is so much more than when my father was on the council.” 

“Exactly, that is the point,” Mina grins. “For all of the work you all do, and how much you will have to put up with me, I figure your salary should be decent enough it can support you fully when you retire.”

“Put up with you?” Jeongyeon laughs. “You act as though you are insufferable to be around.” 

“Perhaps I am and you just have not realized it yet,” Mina jokes back, making both women laugh with her. 

“Tell us honestly, is she a pain?” Jihyo turns to Dahyun and asks, stunning her. 

“No, she is not,” Dahyun says immediately. “She is wonderful to be around.” 

“You are kind, and perhaps a bit biased,” Mina nudges Dahyun’s shoulder lightheartedly. bringing a grin to the younger girl’s face.

“She seems trustworthy enough to me,” Jihyo says decidedly, leaning to dip her quill in the pot of ink and sign her contract.

“Thank you, truly, for this opportunity Mina,” Jeongyeon says a bit more seriously. “I am aware you must have fought desperately to have two women so young on the council.” She signs as well, and they both pass the contracts back to Mina. 

“Thank you both for agreeing,” Mina grins, moving to file the contracts away. “You will have living accommodations here, in the same wing as the rest of the council members. Give us a week at most to prepare them for you, I will send a letter when they are ready.” 

“Hug me, before we depart,” Jihyo waves Mina over so they can embrace, and then she moves to embrace Jeongyeon as well. 

“You will change this kingdom for the better, I am certain of it,” Jeongyeon says quietly, and Mina seems to glow with pride at hearing that.

After they leave, Mina and Dahyun quickly leave the study as well, making to go back to Mina’s chamber to relax a little before dinner. “That went well,” Dahyun remarks giddily as they walk, happy to see Mina happy. 

“Yes, it did,” Mina says, voice filled with glee. “It feels so incredible, to actually be able to do what I’ve been preparing for since I was born.” 

“You are a natural at it, and being Queen becomes you,” Dahyun is speaking without thinking, which becomes more clear when she says, “You grow more beautiful with each passing day.” 

Mina’s cheeks turn pink, and she seems almost shy, which is something Dahyun has never seen before. “You are very sweet,” She whispers, and Dahyun feels embarrassed at how forward she was, but it doesn’t seem to offend Mina in any way. She begins to worry when Mina becomes distracted for the rest of the night, hardly looking her way as they dine at their respective tables in the Great Hall and barely speaking as Dahyun draws her bath and aids her in undressing as they prepare for bed. 

Dahyun is pacing as Mina emerges from the bathing chamber, hair damp and only clad in a towel. She’s been fretting over her careless comment, thinking she must have overstepped a boundary, and now Mina will not feel as comfortable with her. 

“Here is your nightgown, your Highness,” Dahyun says in a tight voice, her throat constricting in an attempt to keep her from crying. “Would you like me to brush your hair?” 

“Yes, that would be lovely,” Mina graces her with a warm smile, and it puts her at ease somewhat. Once they are settled onto Mina’s bed, Dahyun carefully going through her hair, she says, “I am sorry if I have seemed distant this evening, I have been pondering something.” 

“What have you been pondering, your Grace?” Dahyun delicately sections her hair so she can brush it most effectively. 

“I have decided something,” Mina goes on, and Dahyun feels her heart stop for a moment. “I am planning on cancelling all of my plans tomorrow, because I want to take you to the library.” 

“What would I do in the library?” Dahyun frowns, sitting back on her heels for a second as she mulls the idea over. 

“If you are okay with it, of course, I would like to teach you how to read,” Mina peeks back over her shoulder, wanting to see Dahyun’s reaction. “Of course, it will take more than a day, but I would be more than willing to take as much time as you need.” 

Dahyun is shocked, eyes wide and lips slightly parted as she takes in what Mina has just said. “You are being serious?” 

“Of course,” Mina nods firmly, and Dahyun practically melts, dropping the hair brush to wrap her arms around Mina from behind, resting her cheek on the woman’s shoulder. “It would be so lovely to see what kinds of books and poetry you like,” Mina whispers gleefully, like she’s drunk on the idea. 

“I worry I will be a poor student,” Dahyun muses, what Mina shakes her head instantly. 

“You will do wonderfully,” She assures her sincerely. “You are so intelligent, and so hardworking. I do believe you could do anything you set your mind to.”

So the next morning, they rise later than normal, and instead of going to Mina’s study they make their way to a part of the palace Dahyun has never been to. Mina pushes the two heavy doors in front of them open, revealing the library, a huge room with a high, dome ceiling, and every wall covered in books. Dahyun can’t help herself, she begins to wander around and let her fingers tentatively glide over the spines of the books at her level of reaching, enamored with so much reading possible. She wants to learn so badly, she thinks she would stay up all night simply so she could understand what’s on the pages of these books.

Mina watches her take it all in happily, patient as ever, smiling when Dahyun finally turns to face her again. “It is magical,” Dahyun whispers, and Mina smiles even wider, reaching both hands out for Dahyun to come take them. She tugs her to one of the tables, already set up with a few books, parchment, a quill, and ink. 

“The alphabet is a good starting point, I believe,” Mina says, sitting beside Dahyun, for once the one to be peering over Dahyun’s shoulder. She teaches her how to properly hold the quill, clutching her hand to guide her as she writes each letter for the first time. It’s easier than Dahyun thought it would be, and Mina is a wonderful teacher. She is patient, and explains things thoroughly without talking down to Dahyun.

“I think I am getting the hang of it,” Dahyun smiles as she writes the alphabet over and over, mentally repeating the sounds, trying to make it stick. She stops for a moment, thinking, sounding her name out in her head to try and replicate it in letters. She writes it how she thinks it would be spelled, and a smile comes over Mina’s face, eyes lit up with joy. 

“You have nice handwriting already,” Mina remarks, studying how block like her letters are. “You truly are getting the hang of it quickly.” 

“That is the first time I’ve ever written anything,” Dahyun whispers, studying her name, letting her fingers drift over it. She had gone so long not knowing what her name would look like on paper, it is incredible to not only see it but to know she wrote it. “How would I spell your name?” She asks excitedly, and Mina lets out a soft laugh, immediately spelling her name out for Dahyun to transcribe. 

They spend nearly the entire day in the library, moving from writing to skimming books, Dahyun poring over each page intensely, willing herself to understand it all. It’s slow going, at first, as she connects the alphabet she’s memorizing to the words she sees, but it’s enjoyable nonetheless. 

“I love learning things,” Dahyun confesses suddenly, taking Mina by surprise. They had been silently for nearly half an hour, Dahyun reading to herself as Mina observed her. “It is so much fun to learn something new.” 

Mina feels her heart swell with adoration for the girl sitting beside her, reaching subconsciously to be touching Dahyun in some way. She settles for rubbing a calming hand up and down her back. “I will teach you more things, then, if you would like. Playing chess is quite fun,” Mina tells her, and Dahyun grins brightly. 

“Perhaps I could teach you things as well,” Dahyun suggests softly. “I could teach you how to cook, how to sew.” 

“That sounds wonderful,” Mina says genuinely. Dahyun truly realizes for the first time how insanely different their lives are. Mina has never a day in her life had to cook, or clean, or sew her clothes. She has never had to do any manual labor, wouldn’t even know how to start. But what she lacks in that, she makes up for in studies, and plenty of other responsibilities she had placed on her shoulders from the time she was young. Dahyun understands then, they are both simply skilled in different areas, and being able to know one another this way and teach each other is a blessing. They complete each other, in an odd sense, Dahyun thinks.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tumblr @bbygirldahyun


	6. Chapter Six

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i am so sorry if this has taken me forever! things are crazy rn as we all know so thank u for baring with me. stay safe out there <3

Dahyun rouses to the sound of an unfamiliar voice coming through her door. 

“Your Highness, you must rise now. It is imperative we move quickly.” 

It is certainly a woman, not one Dahyun recognizes though. She furrows her brow, sitting up and rubbing at her bleary eyes. Darkness is still cloaking the outdoors, she can see through her window. It must be the middle of the night. 

“What is wrong?” Mina asks in a hushed tone. 

“Intruders in the palace,” The woman answers, and that wakes Dahyun up quickly. Intruders? How could they have gotten in? 

“I will move swiftly,” Mina is calm, somehow, footsteps creaking and then Dahyun’s door opens and there’s Mina, hair tousled and eyes still sleep filled somewhat. “I do not want to alarm you, Miss Kim, but we must exit the palace.” 

“I heard,” Dahyun mutters, standing, glancing at her frock and apron, unsure if she should bring them. 

“Come now, it will be okay,” Mina assures her, taking her hand. Dahyun is led into the main chamber, seeing the unfamiliar woman. Mina grabs nothing from her belongings, instead nodding to the woman. “Lead the way, Miss Lee.” 

“She should be going to the servants chamber,” Miss Lee murmurs as they walk, referring to Dahyun. The idea of being separated from Mina right now makes Dahyun feel sick, panic flooding her as she looks nervously to Mina. 

“Wherever I go, she goes,” Mina says firmly, squeezing Dahyun’s hand. 

“Alright,” Miss Lee agrees easier than Dahyun thought she would. 

Walking through the palace knowing there are unwanted people in it is eerie. Somewhere inside these walls are people who want to hurt Mina, probably want to kill her. Dahyun can’t stomach the thought. She’s plotting how she would maneuver herself in front of Mina if a life threatening situation were to occur when they reach a staircase Dahyun has never seen before. 

“You two go ahead of me,” Miss Lee instructs. “The rest of the council members are already on their way.” 

So she must be from Mina’s council. Dahyun sort of recognizes her now, remembering her as the one Mina had been conversing with when she had called Dahyun to the throne room to tell her she was chosen as Mina’s handmaiden. How long ago that feels now. How odd, to think she ever was indifferent to Mina, that she wasn’t enamored with her from the start. 

They descend the staircase quickly, Mina still clutching Dahyun’s hand, practically tugging her along. Shouting sounds from somewhere in the palace, somewhere close. “Hurry!” Miss Lee hisses, and they pick up speed, nearly tripping down the stairs in the process. Panic is coursing through Dahyun now, feeling like they’re being chased. They reach a door that has multiple locks, Miss Lee fumbling with the keys to each and shoving them inside, locking it behind her again. 

“The trapdoor,” She says breathlessly. Mina runs over and heaves open a huge steel door, another staircase appearing, one that leads down, down, down, into eventual darkness. 

“Dahyun, go ahead of me,” Mina says, startling Dahyun at the use of her first name. They never address each other non formally, she didn’t even realize Mina remembered her first name. But it seems in all the chaos, Mina isn’t worried with titles and addressing her properly. She just wants her safe. 

Dahyun tentatively steps down the staircase, Mina clung close to her back, Miss Lee following behind Mina. She’s their only source of light, holding a candle to illuminate their way. Dahyun toys with the fabric of her nightgown, wringing it as they walk. The tunnel they’re in is long, she can tell, with no lanterns or candles anywhere lighting it. They will walk in nothing but the light of that single candle.

“Brief me on the break in, Sunmi,” Mina says after a while of walking in silence. Dahyun listens attentively, wanting to know as well. 

“It was a rebel group from somewhere up north,” Sunmi explains. “They impersonated guards, entered through the front door, and drew swords. As far as I am aware, they did not intentionally harm any staff.” 

“I would not guess that is their goal,” Mina muses. “If their goal was to kill me, they would not want unnecessary casualties.” 

She speaks of her own death so nonchalantly. It makes Dahyun shudder to even imagine a world without Mina. What would happen to the kingdom? Who would rise to power then? Who would look after citizens like her, as Mina had promised to do? And how would Dahyun go on, without her companion? She has grown so attached to Mina, never had a friend like her before, she couldn’t live without getting to see her smile and hear her voice. Their months living in such close proximity have been the best in Dahyun’s life, and she truly believes Mina will be the Queen who makes a difference in the lives of her citizens. Dahyun would do anything to protect her, not just for the kingdom, but selfishly because she needs Mina’s love and care in her life.

“Well they did not succeed in killing you, thankfully,” Sunmi says in a tense tone. It must unsettle her to think about Mina’s death as well. She would have been appointed by Mina as head advisor, Dahyun realizes, if she is the one managing everyone’s protection tonight. She’s certain that angered the older, more seasoned men on the council. But it’s Mina’s style to appoint someone like Sunmi, clearly more than capable and younger, with newer and more progressive ideas. 

They have been walking now for at least half an hour, and finally they have come upon what Dahyun assumes is the underground safety bunker. She had no idea there were tunnels and bunkers underneath the palace like this, but she supposes she should’ve figured there were. How else would Mina stay safe in situations like these?

The rest of Mina’s advisors are all milling about the bunker, and when they spot her they all breathe a collective sigh of relief. 

“Mina,” Jihyo runs to hug her, looking like she had been crying. “We-We thought-“

“I am okay,” Mina whispers to her, hugging her tight. Jeongyeon is close behind Jihyo, hugging Mina too, looking so relieved to see her she could be crying tears of happiness now. 

“You know your accommodations are through there,” Sunmi waves Mina to a door across the large bunker. “Miss Kim can stay with you or with us, whatever you prefer.” 

“With me,” Mina says instantly, glancing at Dahyun. “If that is alright.” 

“Yes, your Majesty,” Dahyun agrees easily. She wouldn’t be able to sleep if Mina wasn’t in her line of sight. 

Once they are behind the door, in the smaller bunker area with two beds - one small and shorter, like it was intended for a child, and the other meant for two adults - Dahyun breathes properly for the first time since this whole thing started. 

“How are you holding up?” Mina asks warmly, looking Dahyun over with concern. “You look pale.” 

“I should be fretting over you,” Dahyun laughs weakly. “You are the one who could have...” 

“Oh pfft,” Mina waves off her concern. “It comes with the job. I suppose I should have warned you this might happen.” 

“Does it happen often?” Dahyun asks quietly. 

“No, actually,” Mina answers, seemingly deep in thought. “The only other time I have ever been down here was when I was nine. It was broad daylight, out in the gardens. I was playing with Nayeon by the pond, and rebels came running out of the trees with bows and arrows, aiming right for my Father.” She sighs heavily, walking to sit on the edge of the bigger bed, waving Dahyun over to sit next to her. 

“My Mother gathered Nayeon and I quickly, but not quick enough. We saw a guard die, taking an arrow for my Father.” Mina sounds so solemn, and the story makes Dahyun’s breath catch in her throat. Of all the horrors she’s faced in her life, she has never seen someone die so violently. The only death she had ever witnessed first hand was her mother, and she had been sick, dying peacefully in her sleep. No blood, no screams. Just her eyes closed and never opened again. 

“I am sorry, your Grace, that is horrible,” Dahyun murmurs. Mina leans her head on Dahyun’s shoulder, exhaling slowly. 

“I was hysterical, at the time, as I suppose any nine year old would be. Nayeon was separated from us, taken to the in palace safety chambers with the servants. My father’s head advisor was very adamant this bunker was only for the council and the royal family.” Mina goes on, Dahyun listening, enjoying the warmth and weight of Mina’s head resting on her. “Sunmi is...more understanding. Kinder.” 

Dahyun isn’t quite sure what to say. She had never, ever imagined Mina had been through something like that. Growing up, her father had made it sound like the royal family had no problems. Like their lives were perfect. And sure, Mina will never know hunger or hard labor. She will never have to go to bed freezing, or with a leak in her roof. But hearing that story, knowing that Mina had to fear for her own and her family’s lives at such a young age, it makes Dahyun’s heart ache for her. That must be why she is so numb to discussing her own death now. 

It also makes her look at Mina and Nayeon’s friendship in a much heavier light. To go through something like that so young, together, it must have solidified their already strong bond. They alone could understand each other’s experience with such a horrible situation like that, and it surely left its mark on them both. 

“Anyways, I am sorry for burdening you with that,” Mina shakes her head a little, like she’s trying to clear it. “You take this bed, I will sleep in the smaller one.” 

“No, your Highness,” Dahyun frowns. “You should take this bed. In any case, I am shorter than you, I will fit better in the small bed.” 

Mina gives her an amused look. “Alright. But if you are uncomfortable, do not hesitate to ask me to switch.” 

Once Dahyun is settled into the small bed, knees tucked up a little to fit, Mina extinguishes the lantern in the chamber and gets under the covers of her own bed. Silence falls, and Dahyun finds herself uneasy. Are the intruders still in the palace? Will they be able to find them down here? She doubts it. All those locks on the door, it took Sunmi a while to open them even with the keys. It would be nearly impossible for them to reach the bunker. 

She falls asleep trying not to think about how downright lucky they are Sunmi got to Mina in time, and her dreams are filled with swords, blood, and screams. Screams that sound so real, shrill and piercing. Screams that fill Dahyun with pure fear.

Screams that sound like Mina. 

Dahyun bolts upright, realizing the screams weren’t in her dream, they are real, and they’re coming from Mina. She’s thrashing around in her bed, whimpering and choking on her own breath. She must be stuck in some horrible dream, stuck reliving that day in her childhood or her mind giving her a mental image of what the intruders didn’t get to do to her in real life. Dahyun runs over to her, panicking, seeing Mina is still asleep, can’t seem to wake herself up and escape it. 

“Your Majesty,” She whispers, cradling Mina’s face in her hands, trying to settle her. “It is alright, you are not in danger.” Dahyun doesn’t know what to do, or how to help her. On a whim she wraps her arms around Mina tightly, murmuring, “You are here, with me. Safe.” 

Mina wakes with a gasp, her whole body quivering, tears rolling down her cheeks as she clutches onto Dahyun for dear life. Her breathing is erratic, her heart pounding practically a million miles a minute in her chest. She sobs into Dahyun’s shoulder, wheezing out miserable breaths, nails digging into Dahyun’s back as she holds onto her so tightly, scared for her life, seemingly scared for Dahyun too. 

“I have you,” Dahyun tells her firmly. “I have you. You are safe.” 

“I am sorry,” Mina says hoarsely, voice ruined from screaming. 

“It is alright, your Majesty,” Dahyun says softly, kneeling beside the bed and cupping Mina’s cheeks again. “You feel clammy, do you need water?” 

“No, no,” Mina swallows hard, wincing. Her throat must be sore. “Go on back to bed. You need rest.” 

“So do you,” Dahyun insists, half smiling when Mina seemingly subconsciously rubs her cheek against Dahyun’s hand. 

“I think sleep will evade me tonight,” Mina laughs lowly. Dahyun cannot see her face very well, but she can only imagine how miserable she must look. 

“Would you sleep better if I laid beside you?” Dahyun offers quietly. She figures she should try everything she can to help Mina. That is her duty, right? To do whatever Mina needs. 

Silence falls, and then in a very timid voice, Mina whispers, “Perhaps.” 

So Dahyun slides under the covers, Mina turning to face her, exhaling a shaky breath. Dahyun plans to only stay long enough for Mina to doze off again, maybe a bit more to make sure she rests easy. But as Mina drifts off, she shifts closer to Dahyun, eventually tucking her head under Dahyun’s chin and molding her body unconsciously against Dahyun’s. If she moves, she will disturb her for certain, and she wants Mina to rest well. So she stays, and falls asleep herself. 

“Your Highness, the palace is secure!” Sunmi’s voice is what wakes them, Dahyun panicking and sitting up quickly, seeing Sunmi in the doorway, eyeing up their current position. Though technically they had done nothing wrong, Dahyun feels like she got caught doing something she shouldn’t be doing. 

“That is good news,” Mina says, voice still somewhat raspy, propping herself up on her elbow. Sunmi raises her eyebrows, looking at Mina like she’s asking a question. “We will ready ourselves quickly.” 

“The council has called a meeting as soon as the palace is up and running again,” Sunmi informs her, then leaving and shutting the door. 

“Thank you for sleeping beside me,” Mina says suddenly, stretching before she stands up, making the bed up like it hadn’t been touched. Dahyun fiddles with the covers of the smaller bed. “It was the best I have rested in a long while.” 

“Anything for you, your Grace,” Dahyun smiles at her, seeing the residual tear traces on Mina’s cheeks, making her heart clench. She hated hearing Mina scream like that, can’t get the sound of her head. 

It’s a blur as they take the trek back to the palace and up the staircases, tentatively entering the marble walls of the palace again. Dahyun glances around, half expecting someone to come darting around a corner. But it’s just as it always is, maids walking around the corridors, guards standing at doors. 

She and Mina leave for the older woman’s chambers, dressing in silence when they arrive there. Dahyun helps Mina into a beautiful blue velvet gown, with longer sleeves that hang down at the end. Mina ties her hair back with a silk ribbon, taking a steeling breath. 

“My presence is required in that advisory meeting,” Mina says with a tired sigh. “So you are free to stay in here if you please, or go anywhere else you’d like.” 

“May I wait outside for you?” Dahyun asks quietly, and Mina nods, seeming a bit touched. Dahyun wants to be there, just in case. She wants to be able to protect Mina. 

It isn’t a long meeting, lasting all of ten minutes. Dahyun can hear muffled voices but she can’t make out what they’re saying, tapping her foot nervously until Mina and the rest of the council emerge again. 

“How was it?” Dahyun asks quietly. 

“Fine,” Mina answers plainly. “I suppose.” 

“What was discussed?” They begin walking towards Mina’s study. No matter how collected Mina seems now, Dahyun cannot shake the way she was in the middle of the night, petrified and desperately clinging to Dahyun for safety. It’s something she’s sure she will never forget.

“The safety precautions I must take. My options were either have a guard inside my chamber all night, or go stay somewhere until the culprits are caught.” Dahyun scrunches up her nose at the idea of a guard inside Mina’s room. How would the woman get any sleep? Or privacy for that matter? 

“So what did you decide?” Dahyun asks, following Mina into the older woman’s study, breathing a sigh of relief at the familiarity of the room. This feels normal, this feels safe.

“I figure this is as good a time as any to go and visit my parents for a while,” Mina sighs. “I have not been to see them since they moved to the shore.” 

“So what will that mean for me?” Dahyun wonders, subconsciously holding her breath. 

“You are invited along, of course,” Mina tells her pleasantly. “But I do not want you to feel obligated.” 

“I would love to come,” Dahyun smiles, exhaling that breath. 

“I did promise to take you to the sea,” Mina laughs, and Dahyun relaxes a little hearing Mina somewhat happy again. 

They go back to business as usual for the better part of the morning, acting as if nothing happened. Pretending Mina didn’t have such a nightmare she woke screaming, pretending Dahyun didn’t share her bed with her. It’s better off that way; behind the pleasant smile fixed on Mina’s face she looks exhausted, and Dahyun catches glimpses of that scared young woman she saw when the Duke was here. She doesn’t want to be the one who forces Mina to think about hard things, the council already does that. 

That night, they pack to leave the following morning for Mina’s parents’ home. Dahyun helps Mina organize things in her trunk, admiring the clothing she’s chosen. No formal gowns, only tea length sundresses and the like. 

“Will it be warm?” Dahyun asks softly, folding the clothing with deft hands and slotting them neatly into the confines of the trunk. 

“Oh yes, it is always warm there,” Mina smiles fondly, packing a white lace parasol next to the clothing. “It is so lovely by the sea.” 

When it comes time for Dahyun to pack, she realizes she doesn’t have much to bring, only her two maids uniforms and aprons. Mina packs them alongside her own things, telling Dahyun she should get some rest, as they will be leaving early the next day. 

And early it is, both of them rousing before sunrise to sleepily tug the trunk out the back doors into the garden and down to the path, where a carriage awaits them. 

“Good morning, your Majesty,” the carriage drive greets cheerfully. 

“Good morning, sir,” Mina smiles back at him. “Not quite morning yet though, we haven’t seen the sun.” 

He laughs. “It ought to be up by the time we reach the shore!” 

Dahyun has never been in a carriage before, and she’s a bit apprehensive, to say the least. There’s someone waiting at the steps to help them up, offering her a hand as she follows Mina into the carriage, shutting the door behind her. She peers around in awe at the plush seats inside, taking hers opposite Mina, pulling the lace curtains back to peek out the windows. 

“This is incredible,” She whispers. How easy it must be to go places with a thing like this. It only reminds her of her long, long walk to the palace from home.

“They are quite amazing,” Mina watches her amazement with fondness welling up in her chest. A carriage is something she’s grown up with, nothing special really, but Dahyun is so amazed by it, it’s sweet to see. 

They start off on their journey, chatting quietly to one another as they roll through the large forest behind the palace. The sun is barely rising by the time they emerge from the forest, and it seems they’re coming upon a town. 

“This is the South village,” Mina informs her. “Most of my advisors grew up here, this is where the nobles live.” 

“Wow,” Dahyun can’t even believe how big these houses are. She could fit at least two of her own house, maybe three, in one of these. They look well made and well kept, too. No chance of leaks in the roof here. “There is a school?” Dahyun asks with wide eyes, seeing the school building with children playing outside. 

“Yes, all of the nobles’ children are expected to learn to read and write, but they cannot hire governesses for every single child,” Mina explains quietly. 

Dahyun sits back in her seat, pondering. Other people in the kingdom, who aren’t royalty, live like this. They have schools and well built houses and food on their tables. Dahyun’s village is run down and nobody there can read or write, half of them don’t even speak properly. Nobody attends school. All of their days are consumed by providing for their families as best they can. Tending to sick loved ones, because someone in the village is always ill. 

“I had never seen a book before living in the palace,” Dahyun remarks, and Mina looks almost guilty. Like somehow that’s her fault, when for most of Dahyun’s life she had been young too, unable to do much to change the way things are. 

“I would like to change that,” Mina sighs. “I am working slowly but surely on a plan to get working schools in every village and to keep them as equal as possible.” 

“I truly hope you succeed,” Dahyun says earnestly. “But it is hard to imagine anything in my village changing for the better.” 

Silence falls again, Mina’s hands folded neatly in her lap as she stares out the window, seeming lost in thought. Dahyun studies her, no longer occupied with the goings on of the South village at such an early hour. 

Mina looks tired, and yet still so beautiful. She’s wearing a less formal gown than normal, a shawl around her shoulders since the morning air was brisk. Her hair has grown even longer in the months Dahyun has known her, now resting just above her waist rather than just below her ribs. She seems so pensive, whatever she’s pondering must be a solemn topic. 

“Why did your parents choose to retire to the shore?” Dahyun asks suddenly, desperate to break the silence. 

“We went there often when I was young,” Mina answers, eyes moving to settle on Dahyun. “It is in the hills, private, a small expanse of beach on a large sea. I think they have some sort of nostalgia for the place.” She smiles a little. “They are saddened that I am grown up now, I believe.” 

“I suppose it would be hard, to have your one and only child living without you for the first time, and doing such a hard job,” Dahyun muses, and Mina listens intently. “But I am sure they are proud of you.” 

“I would like to think so.” The South village is behind them now, as they enter more thickets of forest, these trees much taller, with vines and moss inching up the trunks. “Do you miss your family?” 

Dahyun mulls the question over for a moment. It hurts that her instinctual answer is no. She does miss some things, she misses her younger siblings. But she doesn’t miss her house, or the constant long days of work, or giving up her food to everyone else and going to bed hungry. And maybe things are better off without her in the house, now that she’s working at the palace and money for her duties is being sent to her family. They’ll be living much better now, her still providing for them when she’s this far away.

“Sometimes,” Dahyun finally says. “They are better off with me here, making money for them.” 

Mina nods a little, and then, “But I am sure they miss you.” 

“Perhaps,” Dahyun keeps her gaze out the window. “I would like to think they might.” 

“How could anyone not miss you?” Mina reaches for Dahyun’s hand. “It would be impossible not to miss your presence.” 

“You are kind,” Dahyun laughs. “And perhaps a bit partial to me.” 

“I only speak from experience,” Mina says back easily. “When I am not around you I always find myself missing you.” Dahyun is warm in the cheeks, feeling her heart thud a little faster. Mina is so nice to her, and she never quite understands why, but she enjoys it nonetheless. 

“Woah,” Dahyun gasps softly, watching as the ground melts from the short grass of the forest into open plains of tall, reed looking grass. There’s sandy hills in the distance, and Dahyun is overtaken with wonder at the sight of such different nature to what she’s accustomed to. 

The carriage stops at the end of a long path, a cottage in the distance right at the edge of the beach. Mina slips out of the carriage first, offering a hand to Dahyun to help her out, thanking the driver and attendants and telling them to have a safe journey back. 

“Let me get that,” Dahyun hurries to try and get the trunk before Mina can, but Mina is quicker, hoisting it up into her arms. 

“Slow poke,” She teases, earning her a playful glare from Dahyun. “You enjoy the view, I have seen this a thousand times already.” 

It’s gorgeous, the sun barely above the horizon, the sky still pink and the clouds a warm peach color. The breeze feels balmy, the sea waves lapping gently onto the shore, the water a deep, rich blue color. The air smells so different to anything Dahyun has ever experienced before, but she likes it. She can understand what’s appealing about the shore now.

They approach the cottage soon enough, Mina setting the trunk down to knock on the door, Dahyun standing slightly behind her, apprehensive. She hadn’t actually thought much about the fact she’ll be staying with Mina’s parents until right now, waves of nervousness crashing over her as she panics internally, trying to reason with herself everything’s fine, she has no reason to be so worried. 

“Mina!” Mina’s mother exclaims the second she sees her daughter, tugging her into a tight hug. “Oh my goodness, why did you not send a letter you were coming?” 

“The trip was planned on short notice,” Mina says breathlessly, hugging back just as tight. Her father looks nearly in tears of happiness to see her, picking her up and swinging her around in a hug, making her laugh. 

“We have another guest as well?” Mina’s father asks warmly, eyes falling on Dahyun. 

“Ah yes, Miss Kim is my handmaiden,” Mina explains in a bright voice. She is so happy now, worries of the palace forgotten in the presence of her family. “We have grown quite close, and she has never been to the shore so I wanted her to come along.” 

“Well the more the merrier,” Mina’s mother smiles, waving them inside. 

“Oh, I remember you,” Mina’s father fixes a studying gaze on Dahyun. “You served us dinner the night of Mina’s coronation.” 

“Yes I did,” Dahyun is surprised he remembers her, but it makes her feel a little proud. She made a mark on not only Mina but her parents. 

“Oh yes! I knew you looked familiar,” Mina’s mom nods along. 

“You did not pick her simply because she is pretty, did you Mina?” The older woman’s father teases, making Mina’s cheeks tinge pink. 

“No, of course not,” Mina laughs, shaking her head. “She is an all around wonderful person.” 

Another conversation sparks between Mina and her parents, so Dahyun takes this chance to look around the cottage. It’s very nice inside, quite homey. There’s a loveseat and two chairs in the living area, the kitchen connected to it with a small table to eat at. It’s quaint, not what Dahyun would expect the retirement home of a King and Queen to look like. But she likes it, enjoying the lived in feeling. 

There’s a painting on the far wall of what looks like a much younger version of Mina’s parents and a small child, who must be Mina. Dahyun walks over to look at it, smiling at the artist’s delineation of Mina in her youth. She’s almost scowling, brows furrowed, lips in a pout. 

“She was tired of standing for so long in the same position.” Mina’s father’s voice makes Dahyun jump a little. He stands right beside her, studying the portrait as well. “She kept asking when we would be done, and by the time the artist had started on painting her face she was not a happy child.” 

“She has not changed much, then,” Dahyun laughs. “She said she does not want to waste time getting her portrait painted for the study.” 

“Stubborn as ever,” He sighs, though it’s a fond remark. “I know you must be taking good care of her if she speaks so highly of you. She has incredibly high standards.” 

“I try my best,” Dahyun says in a soft voice. She’s decided she likes Mina’s father; he seems like a very down to earth person, and the fact he remembered her makes her take a liking to him. 

“Do not let her push you around though,” He goes on in a somewhat joking manner. 

Dahyun smiles. “She does not, I assure you.” 

Mina and her mother have disappeared upstairs somewhere, probably putting the trunk away, so Mina’s father takes the chance to lean closer and whisper, “Why is it she took the trip down here so suddenly? She would never do something this short notice simply for the spontaneity.” 

Dahyun isn’t sure if she should tell him, not knowing what Mina wants her parents to know. “I am not sure what was really discussed in the council meeting,” Dahyun says vaguely. “But I assume she will tell you what has been happening.” 

“What are you two conspiring about?” Mina’s voice breaks them apart as she and her mother come back down the stairs. “You are not being a bad influence on the poor girl already, are you Father?” 

“Me? Of course not,” He laughs, making Mina laugh too. 

Her mother shakes her head at her husband. “Says the man who let his daughter try wine for the first time when she was eleven.” 

“It was just a sip!” Mina and her father say in unison, more laughter following. 

“Shall we have brunch out by the sea?” Mina’s mother suggests, and everyone agrees easily. 

It’s a pleasant meal, sitting outside at a small table under an umbrella, watching the sun make the sea turn to an iridescent greenish blue and sparkle in the light. Dahyun inhales deeply, enjoying the sea air, loving the sun on her cheeks and the soft breeze. She wishes she could live somewhere like this. Her village is bitterly cold in the winter, rainy in the summer, and always windy. There’s so many floods in the summer, and snowstorms that snow them into their homes during the winter. Here, it seems magical, like it’s always beautiful out. 

“Which village are you from, dear?” Mina’s mother breaks her reverie, the question making her cringe internally. 

“Northeast,” Dahyun answers hesitantly. 

“Ah yes,” She nods, sitting back in her seat and folding her hands in her lap. It’s a mirror image of one of Mina’s staple gestures, and Dahyun smiles at seeing where she must have inherited it from. “It is quite cold up there, is it not?” 

“Yes it is,” Dahyun chuckles a little. “And rainy.” 

“It storms here from time to time, but otherwise it is quite peaceful.” Mina’s mother glances out over the sea. “Do you enjoy living in the palace?” 

“Oh, I love it,” Dahyun beams. “It is a wonderful job to have, taking care of her.” 

“I still have a hard time thinking about her living all alone there,” Mina’s mother looks to Mina, who is sat beside Dahyun, deep in conversation with her father. “Knowing you will make it easier, I think. She picked smartly.” 

“Thank you, ma’am,” Dahyun is practically glowing with pride. 

The rest of the day is spent leisurely, sitting in the living area of the cottage, a book open in Mina’s lap as they read together. When the sun begins setting, Mina tugs Dahyun up to take her for a walk along the shore, assuring her parents they’ll be careful. 

“I forgot what it is like to live with parents who worry about your every move,” Mina says as they walk slowly, arms linked together. 

“They mean well, but they do fret over you quite a bit,” Dahyun agrees, remembering her earlier conversations with them. 

“Are you enjoying yourself?” Mina asks, looking over to meet Dahyun’s eyes. She looks beautiful, Dahyun thinks, the sun behind her, making her look as if she’s glowing a little. Her eyes are so warm in the hazy sunset light. 

“Yes, I am, very much so,” Dahyun answers sincerely. “It is wonderful here.” 

“It truly is,” Mina sighs, tucking a lock of hair behind her ear. “I think I would like to retire here too, when my time comes.” 

“By yourself?” Dahyun doesn’t want to think about Mina being here with a husband. It saddens her to consider Mina marrying at all, probably because the idea is something the woman herself dreads. 

“No, of course not,” Mina laughs warmly. “You would be here too.” 

“Me?” Dahyun bites back a smile. “You will still want me around then?” 

“Always,” Mina stops walking suddenly, turning them so they can watch the sun dipping low. “I always want you with me.” She wraps her arms around Dahyun from behind, resting her chin on Dahyun’s shoulder. “Marriage is trivial,” Mina says out of nowhere. “I think I would prefer to just have you.” 

Dahyun feels so warm, Mina holding her so tenderly, the air still holding the heat of the daytime, her cheeks hot as she blushes at the comment. 

“You will have me as long as you need me,” Dahyun murmurs back, closing her eyes. This is the best she’s ever felt in her entire life. She didn’t know joy like this was even possible. 

Once the sun has disappeared below the horizon, they walk back to the cottage hand in hand under the slowly appearing stars and the crescent moon above them. The silence is comfortable, no words needing to be said, even as they slip back inside. 

“How was the sunset?” Mina’s mother asks from her place sat on the couch, sewing something. 

“Beautiful,” Mina replies, but she’s looking at Dahyun while she says it, and it makes Dahyun’s cheeks go pink again. “I think we are going to retire for the night.” 

“Goodnight, girls, sleep well.” They head up the narrow staircase, down a small hallway into what is clearly the guest room, with only one bed. 

“I hope you do not mind sharing again,” Mina says in a soft tone, and Dahyun shakes her head. 

“Of course not. It might be better, in case...” Dahyun leaves the sentence open, not wanting to say it, knowing Mina will fill in the blank. 

“Yes, I think you are right,” Mina agrees. “The bathing chamber is through there, for when you need it.” 

So they change in their nightgowns, prepare themselves for bed, slipping under the covers together. They’ve been lying there in silence for awhile, Dahyun assuming Mina has dozed off, when the older woman whispers, “Dahyun?” 

“Yes?” She whispers back, confused. 

“I want you to take this vacation as a reprieve from working.” At first Dahyun doesn’t know what she means. “As in, you are here with me as a friend, not as your duty. Do you understand what I mean?” 

“Yes, your Highness, I do,” Dahyun says, wondering where this came from. 

“Mina,” She corrects softly. “Just call me Mina, okay?” 

“Okay,” Dahyun feels a little apprehensive about that. “Goodnight, Mina.” 

“Goodnight, Dahyun.”


	7. Chapter Seven

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> finally an update without literal months in between! i hope u guys enjoy this chapter, lil nervous about this one

All Dahyun can feel is warmth. She makes a low, tired noise under her breath as she rouses slowly, feeling movement against her, eyes opening in confusion. She blinks a little, trying to make sure the sight in front of her is real. Mina’s head is tucked under her chin, a hand fisted into the fabric of Dahyun’s night dress, still sleeping peacefully. They are so close, and Dahyun sighs softly, burying her face in the crown of Mina’s head, wanting to enjoy this as long as the moment lasts. The events of the previous night emerge in her mind again, how wonderful the sunset was, what they had discussed. Dahyun enjoys the idea that one day she and Mina would live here together, feeling proud that Mina likes her enough to want her as a companion even after so long. To think then they would have no responsibilities, would be free to enjoy the days as they please. Dahyun smiles as she envisions that, wondering what life would even be like so far in the future. It’s quite incredible to think she may even live that long; people in her village die quite young sometimes, but the royal family live long lives, and if she was still staying with Mina she is sure she would too.

Though she does think to herself, what will the kingdom think if Mina does not marry? Who would rule after her if she had no heir to the throne? Dahyun truly detests the idea of watching Mina marry. Nobody in the world could possibly be good enough for her, Dahyun is sure anyone who courted her would be absolutely lackluster. Who could compare to Mina? What man could stand by her as an equal? Mina is so special, Dahyun thinks, it would take a miracle to find someone who matches her in strength, passion, and wonderfulness. And yet, Mina would be an incredible mother, Dahyun is sure of that. If she were to have children they would be the most loved and looked after children in the world. 

“Hm?” Mina wakes suddenly, eyes still closed as she shifts, face moving up to tuck into Dahyun’s neck. She rests there for a few moments, and Dahyun begins to assume she’s fallen back into slumber. “Good morning,” She murmurs, still clearly half asleep, taking Dahyun by surprise.

“Good morning,” Dahyun smiles, though she tenses a little as Mina’s breath on her neck tickles. She doesn’t mind, though, enjoying the closeness. She enjoys Mina’s affectionate nature, not used to such a touch at all. “You are beautiful when you sleep.” The comment almost embarrasses Dahyun to say, but it’s true. Mina is angelic, even sleeping. 

Mina smiles tiredly. “Thank you,” She yawns, absentmindedly pressing a kiss to Dahyun’s neck before sitting up and stretching. Clearly it was done in a sleepy haze, if she had been fully awake she never would have done such a thing, but Dahyun is stunned. She has never been kissed in such a place before, and it makes her heart quicken its pace. Home was not a loving or affectionate place for her, she can’t even recall a time her parents were affectionate in such a manner. But it’s evident from seeing Mina’s parents and Mina’s own behavior that she was raised with a loving touch and is used to affection with those who she loves. Dahyun prefers it this way, enjoys these displays of love. 

Mina walks to the window, watching the sea lap lazily onto the shore, and Dahyun sits up in the bed, watching only Mina. The morning sunlight makes her glow, looking almost ethereal, and Dahyun is mesmerized by her. She has heard talk of angels in church ever since she was young, but she’s positive all of those descriptions must be wrong, for this is what an angel would look like in Dahyun’s mind. 

“I have not told my parents why I am here yet,” Mina says quietly, the thought clearly heavy in her mind. 

“That is alright, you should be able to talk of such things when you feel ready,” Dahyun stands and walks to Mina’s side, taking Mina’s hand gently. “It is your decision when to tell them.”

“They will worry,” Mina frets. She is never without worry, Dahyun has realized. “I hate to put that on their shoulders.” 

“They will worry for you no matter what,” Dahyun replies. “It is better for them to hear it from you than to receive a letter or something accidentally detailing the incident.” 

“Do you ever grow tired of always being right?” Mina jokes, turning and smiling at Dahyun warmly. Dahyun laughs, feeling at ease in Mina’s presence, more at ease than she has ever been. 

“You should speak with them privately,” Dahyun tells her. “I will wait up here.” 

So they move to get dressed, Mina in a simple, blue tea length dress with no corset, looking much more relaxed than when she’s donning her heavy gowns. It’s nice to see her in more common clothing, especially such a beautiful, delicate blue. The shade compliments her skin and eyes very well, and Dahyun notices now looking her over that even just a day by the shore has warmed her complexion significantly.

Dahyun moves to the bathing chamber, planning to change into one of her maid’s frocks, but Mina stops her suddenly. “Wear one of mine,” She says, plucking a pale yellow dress from the collection in her trunk, pressing it into Dahyun’s hands. “This color would suit you so well.” She holds the fabric up to Dahyun’s arm so the younger girl can see what she means. “Warm tones would look lovely on you.” 

“Are...are you sure?” Dahyun can’t believe she’s hearing right. Wear Mina’s clothing? It seems bizarre, and yet Mina is insistent, remarking how it will bring out the rosiness in Dahyun’s cheeks and how she should be free of her working clothes, given this is a vacation for her too. 

Mina heads downstairs so she can discuss the situation at the palace with her family while Dahyun dresses slowly, looking herself over in the mirror as she slips the dress up. She looks different than she remembers herself looking before moving to the palace. When she would look in the cracked mirror they had at home, she would see herself reflected back as ghastly. Too thin, weak, always looking ill. Now, in this polished mirror, it’s like a different person looks back at her. The weight she’s gained since beginning to eat three meals a day has filled her out well. Her face is certainly fuller, much less pallid in her complexion. She looks healthy. She looks strong. And she feels it too, realizing how she is no longer tired every day, no longer ill every waking moment. She feels cleansed by living in the palace. 

She smooths the flowy fabric of the yellow dress out, admiring how nicely it’s made. The clothing she wore at home was always handed down, donated, or poorly stitched together simply for something to have to put on. It was always ill fitted, uncomfortable, and tore easily. This dress is stunning, soft fabric under her fingertips and stitches tight to make sure there’s no tearing, though a dress like this would never be worn for something that might cause tears anyhow. And though she might hesitate to admit it, Mina is right - the color highlights her rosy complexion well, and it makes her eyes look brighter.

It’s been enough time, she decides, to at the very least peek down the steps and hear what’s going on. She walks as silently as possible, tiptoeing down the steps, hearing the tail end of the conversation. 

“Next time something like this happens you tell us, Mina, right away,” Her father doesn’t sound angry, he sounds sad, and stressed. 

“The situation was under control,” Mina insists, and Dahyun sighs under her breath. Of course, Mina would continue to downplay herself being in danger. 

“Imagine if it was not?” Her father says in a pained voice. “Imagine if you were to go back to that place and die and we did not even know this was the last time we were to see you?” 

“Father, it is not that serious-”

“But it is, Mina! It is.” Dahyun flinches instinctively at his impassioned tone, but she knows Mina would never flinch. She would be stoic as ever. “This is exactly why I hesitated to give the throne to you, not because I thought you could not do it but because I knew you would be flippant about your own safety!” 

“What kind of ruler would I be if I was not willing to die for my people?” Mina counters, and silence falls for a long while, Dahyun subconsciously holds her breath as she waits on the stairs. 

“Did you ever think that you were putting that poor girl in danger too?” Dahyun knows he means her, and she knows this will certainly strike a nerve with Mina. “That she is still in danger, perhaps more so, because she knows you intimately?” 

“Trust me when I say that thought is on my mind every waking moment of everyday,” Mina sounds like she’s crying, and Dahyun wants to pull her in close and let her pretend the horrors of the world aren’t closing in on her. She wishes things could always be as lovely and warm and carefree as it was watching the sunset. 

“The next time you hear rumors of a rebel plot, take them seriously then.” 

Dahyun pauses, brow furrowed. Mina knew? Or there was at least some suspicion. Is that the sort of thing Mina discusses in advisory meetings? Possible rebel attacks? The mere thought makes Dahyun shudder. She can’t picture Mina ignoring such a possibility, but she can picture some of those idiots on the council downplaying the seriousness of it and undermining Mina’s worries. Dahyun can only assume that’s what happened.

Before she can react, footsteps are approaching her, and Mina sees her, knowing she was eavesdropping. “I am so sorry you had to hear that,” She whispers, offering Dahyun a hand. 

“It is alright,” Dahyun has to hold herself back from using her usual moniker of your Highness for Mina. She isn’t quite used to not addressing Mina as a superior. “But I would like to ask that next time you know of a potential attack you at least warn me.” 

Mina sighs. “I should have, I just... perhaps too optimistically wanted to believe we had things more under control than we did before the situation escalated.” 

“The past is the past, we can only do better for the future,” Dahyun murmurs, and Mina seems to ponder that, even as they head into the main area of the cottage and Mina’s parents plaster on smiles to pretend like there wasn’t a very heated discussion going on. 

“Ah, good morning Dahyun,” Mina’s mother gives her an almost knowing look, like they’re bonding over having just listened to Mina and her father argue. 

“Good morning,” Dahyun smiles to her. 

“Would you give me a hand for a moment?” Dahyun really likes Mina’s mom, and she has no qualms about agreeing and following the woman into the small kitchen. She’d grown up hearing so much nastiness about the royal family but they have been nothing but welcoming to her, and they treat her like family. 

“Here, let me help set the table,” Dahyun offers, reaching for the pile of plates. 

“Ah, hold on a moment,” Mina’s mother waves her in, whispering, “All I ask of you today is to try and keep her mind off things, if you can.” Dahyun understands, seeing her own worries about Mina reflected in the Queen’s mother, and she nods solemnly. 

“I will do my best,” Dahyun swears earnestly, and Mina’s mother takes her hand and squeezes gently. 

It seems that a good way to spend the day that will take Mina’s mind off things is to take Dahyun swimming in the sea. She finds herself being tugged almost against her own will out into the heat of the day, Mina giddy on the idea of swimming together. 

“I do not know how to swim very well,” Dahyun protests weakly, and Mina gives her a sad look. 

“Really?” She is so constantly shocked by the things Dahyun has never experienced, and she wants to take it upon herself to give them all to Dahyun and more. “Well then I will teach you.” 

“This is much different than learning to read, Mina, what if I drown?” Dahyun is hesitant, but Mina just looks so ecstatic at the prospect of teaching her she feels herself giving in already. 

“Then I would save you, all dramatic and heroic like,” Mina jokes, and Dahyun gives a long sigh. “Have you given in?” 

“I suppose I have, yes.” 

Dahyun’s eyes go wide when Mina starts shimmying her dress off, leaving her in nothing but her undergarments. She averts her gaze hurriedly, swallowing hard at the prospect of getting so bare herself. She did not realize swimming would require them to be so bare, but she supposes she should have figured that. It’s not even just that she is embarrassed being bare necessarily, though that bashfulness is definitely there, it’s the idea of having to look up and see Mina unclothed. She feels almost wrong even thinking about it. 

They have stepped close enough to the water that it’s lapping up over their feet, and Dahyun focuses on that, until Mina is saying, “Follow me in whenever you feel ready.” So Dahyun takes a deep breath and slides her dress off, embarrassed and certainly crimson in the cheeks, nearly diving into the water just so she can be somewhat covered even if it’s only by water. 

“Here, I will hold your hand,” Mina pulls her deeper into the water until they are stomach deep, Dahyun having to admit she’s enjoying the cool water on such a hot day, and the waves are calm enough they aren’t frightening her, not yet at least. “How does the water feel?” 

“Nice,” Dahyun smiles, daring to look up again at Mina. She seems so unabashed despite being in nothing but her under clothes, smiling as her hair flicks in the slight breeze that blows by now and then. Dahyun knows she should want to look away, but she doesn’t, and that realization makes her panic and ramble on, “Different. The only water I have been in besides a bath was a pond, but it was quite shallow, nothing like this.” She looks out over the vast sea, needing to clear her mind.

“It is beautiful, but scary too,” Mina agrees, walking to stand behind her, placing firm hands on Dahyun’s waist. “I will guide you, tell me if you grow too fearful and we can turn back.” 

Dahyun is practically short circuiting with Mina’s grasp on her hips so intimately, and she doesn’t even think as she continues to walk forward, not realizing how deep they’ve gotten until the water brushes her chin. “Oh!” She gasps, backing up subconsciously into Mina, the older woman holding on her tightly. 

“I have you,” Mina whispers. “You are alright, I will not let you drown.” 

Dahyun heaves in as deep of a breath as she can take, trying to ignore the funny feeling overcoming her at how close she and Mina are, at how soft Mina’s bare skin feels. She can honestly say she has never felt such conflicting feelings in all her life, and she’s a little confused at how to even react or what to say. “I...” Dahyun swallows hard. She’s embarrassed at this feeling. If Mina isn’t uncomfortable like this then she shouldn’t be either. 

But is it really discomfort that’s clouding her mind? It doesn’t feel like it. Discomfort is when the guards look her up and down like they’re planning to make a move on her, and she doesn’t feel anything like that right now. She feels...warm. Different warm than this morning, but warm nonetheless. 

“Turn,” Mina instructs softly, smiling when Dahyun faces her. “Try to float on your back and I will hold you up.” Despite her nervousness, Dahyun trusts Mina implicitly, so she lets herself begin to float on her back, taking shaky breaths as Mina gently holds her, smiling. “See? You are doing well.” 

Swimming, it turns out, is not incredibly hard to do, and Dahyun finds herself letting loose and having a lot of fun. She keeps watching how Mina swims, how carefree she looks, diving into each wave as it comes and emerging with a bright grin on her face. It’s easier to ignore the new, somewhat unwelcome feeling when she’s swimming, or splashing Mina gently with water, and she really comes to enjoy being in the ocean.

“Look how small the cottage looks from here!” Mina swims up to wrap her arms around Dahyun again, both of them facing the shore. 

“We have gone quite far out,” Dahyun laughs softly. “This is more fun than I thought it would be.” 

Mina is practically glowing with pride. “Good, I was right,” She plants a solid kiss on Dahyun’s cheek. “I knew you would have fun.” 

“Perhaps we should return to shore,” Dahyun suggests, blush heating her cheeks at Mina’s display of affections. “So your parents do not worry.” 

Mina hums agreement, untangling herself from her hold on Dahyun, before flashing the younger girl a cheeky smile and saying, “Race you.” 

Surprisingly, Dahyun keeps up with Mina quite well, just barely behind her when they make it to shore, breathless and giddy. Just when she thought she was free of it, Dahyun feels that odd feeling return and settle in her lower belly when Mina emerges totally from the sea and walks onto the sand, water still dripping down her. 

The thing is, it’s not like Dahyun hasn’t seen Mina bare before, no matter how much she tries to look away there’s only so much fixing her gaze on the floor can do when she has to also be undoing or tying up a corset and the like. But this is different, somehow. This isn’t a quick, momentary exposure of skin, she is bare everywhere save for what her undergarments cover. Dahyun never would have thought this would be a sight she would ever see in her life. 

They lounge in the sun for a while, letting the warmth of the day dry them off, but Dahyun just can’t relax totally, feeling a little guilty for all her staring at Mina like this. 

“You seem tense,” Mina remarks, looking her over worriedly. “Are you alright?” 

“Ah yes,” Dahyun tries to shake herself of her silly thoughts. “Just a bit stuck in my own mind is all.” 

“You can talk to me about it if you would like,” Mina seems so concerned over her, and Dahyun can’t imagine admitting that what she’s fretting over is something as benign as where her eyes have been wandering. “You have listened to my troubles enough it is only fair I return the favor.” 

“Truly, it is nothing,” Dahyun assures her, tentatively trying to copy Mina’s own actions from earlier and leaning to press a tiny kiss to Mina’s cheek. “Shall we dress?” 

Mina looks stunned at Dahyun’s boldness, but she’s smiling as she pulls her dress back on, her cheeks pink. Dahyun would like to think that was her doing, but perhaps it was only from being in the sun. 

“So, you knew of the attack before it happened?” Dahyun wants to know exactly how detailed Mina’s knowledge of what was going to happen was. 

“Not quite,” Mina sighs, solemn again. “It was more like, Miss Park mentioned that before moving to the palace she had heard whispers, though she insisted nothing was certain and it was most likely a false alarm. Perhaps I should have trusted her word more, as her father does travel to the outer villages often and could have heard something from anywhere. But it just did not cross my mind at all it would become such an issue as it did.” 

“Ah, I understand,” Dahyun nods a little, chew absentmindedly on her thumbnail. “The intricacies of politics are lost on me, a bit, I will be frank.”

“The people in the outer villages, like the one you are from, hate me,” Mina explains, and Dahyun understands then, thinking of her father. “They hate my family, they want me dead. They have since I was born. My father told me that the day they announced my birth people were very, very angry. The kingdom had been hoping my parents would not have an heir so the next monarch would have to be publicly appointed.”

“That is horrible,” Dahyun whispers. How could anyone hold so much hatred for a child? She can’t imagine it. 

“I can understand their anger,” Mina says pensively. “They were starving, sick, and tired. They wanted someone in power who would change that for them, and that is why I have always vowed to be that person. It honestly amazes me you are not disgusted by me.”

Dahyun gives her a puzzled look. “How could I be?” Mina smiles a little. “You are so different from how I was told you would be. When I told my father I was going to seek a job at the palace, he told me maybe then I would finally see what he meant. But you have done nothing but prove him wrong in every aspect.” 

“Ah, so your father is not fond of me?” Mina doesn’t seem bothered by the prospect, though Dahyun thinks maybe she should be. “What would he say?” 

Dahyun doesn’t want to say it, but she knows Mina would hate it more if things were sugar coated. “He said your father was a pompous windbag, and that you must be a heinous, spoiled child. Everytime I would complain of being hungry, he would remind me your family was never hungry. He called you all greedy, and said I was a traitor for wanting to work for you.” 

“Well,” Mina sighs, long and low. “You said I have proved him wrong?” 

“And then some,” Dahyun says earnestly, hating to have told Mina such awful things, wanting to let her know that she would never think that of her. “You are the most generous person I have ever met. You are kind, humble, and genuine. You are so strong. I call you my Queen with admiration, and anyone who has contempt for you simply does not understand the depth of your passion for your kingdom.” 

A tear slips down Mina’s cheek then, and Dahyun reaches to thumb it away. “I adore you, you know that Dahyun?” Mina whispers, voice choked up. “I would be lost without you.” 

“I adore you too, Mina,” Dahyun smiles, feeling a little bashful at the intense love in Mina’s gaze. “You are revolutionary.” 

Silence falls for a while, their hands drifting to brush, no words needed. It’s a vulnerable silence, one Dahyun doesn’t mind, feeling very close to Mina in that moment. It begins to grow far too hot to consider staying under the sun, so they stand to brush the sand off themselves and venture back up the shore. They walk back up to the cottage side by side, the sand hot under their feet, making them hurry so as not to get burnt by it, giggling to one another by the time they make it back up the steps and into the cottage. 

“Oh thank goodness you are back!” Mina’s mother bustles over to them immediately. “A letter arrived for you, Mina, and it seems quite urgent.” 

Mina’s face turns from joy to a solemn heaviness, taking the letter clearly written on the palace’s stationary, opening it with care. Her eyes only grow more riddled with worry as she reads, Dahyun anxious to know what was so urgent they had to get the letter here so promptly. 

“Is everything alright, dear?” Mina’s mother touches her arm comfortingly, worried for her daughter. 

“I suppose it is,” Mina answers, finally looking up from the parchment. “They have caught the rebels, and they are asking when I will be fit to begin the trial.” 

Dahyun almost can’t understand. How have they caught them so quickly? She hadn’t realized until now, but she was hoping subconsciously they would be staying at the shore for at least a week, wanting Mina to have that reprieve and in all honestly enjoying the more comfortable and affectionate path their relationship has taken. She doesn’t want to return to how they were before. Back to formalities, back to separate beds. She will miss the warmth of Mina’s body molded to her own too badly. 

“We will have to return to the palace tomorrow,” Mina says in a sad voice, looking to Dahyun almost as if seeking comfort. 

“Then we will make your last night here special,” Her mother says softly, cupping Mina’s cheeks. “Do not let the burden of the trial rest on your shoulders quite yet. Enjoy this last night of freedom.” 

Their celebration ends up being a bonfire lit in the fire pit just outside the cottage, Mina, her parents, and Dahyun on blankets on the sand. It’s a nice night, the moon bright and the stars filling the sky, Mina leaning into Dahyun’s side on their shared blanket. The heat of the day has left the night just warm enough, and Dahyun enjoys the crisp air of the sea sharp in her nose. 

Mina’s father pours some foreign liquid into small chalices, Dahyun hesitantly accepting hers as it’s passed to her. She watches Mina take a sip before taking a small one of her own, sputtering and coughing at the bitter taste in her mouth, Mina’s hand coming gently to pat her back. 

“You have never had whiskey?” She asks with a fond laugh, Dahyun shaking her head in lieu of words. “It is quite jarring at first.” 

“Yuck,” Dahyun coughs, scrunching her nose, trying to get rid of the taste. 

“Perhaps you would like wine more,” Mina muses, keeping an arm around her shoulders. “Or champagne.” Dahyun sets her chalice down, preferring to just lean further into Mina’s embrace while she and her family continue to drink and chat. 

“How are the newly appointed council members?” Her father asks warmly. 

“Wonderful,” Mina beams. “You remember Jihyo and Jeongyeon, right Father? They are from the South village, we played often when I was young.” 

“Ah yes!” He nods, remembering then, smiling too. “They were always such nice young ladies. Jihyo’s father retired from my council, yes?” 

“Yes, he did.” Mina sips from her chalice, and then, “They have both adopted their roles quite well, and I think they have settled into their living arrangements nicely.” 

“Was it difficult to prepare two chambers for living within such a short time?” Mina’s mother ponders aloud. 

“They share a living chamber,” Mina corrects, earning her puzzled looks, even from Dahyun. She knew Jihyo and Jeongyeon were from the same village and knew one another well, but she could not fathom why they would live together. 

“Oh,” Mina’s mother seems just as shocked. “To save space?” 

“No, they enjoy each other’s company,” Mina says pointedly, taking another sip of whiskey. It seems everyone understands then except for Dahyun, but she doesn’t want to seem dumb by asking. She realizes there was something underlying in Mina’s statement, but she can’t comprehend what, even though it seems obvious to Mina’s parents. 

“Well give them our best when you see them again,” Mina’s father finally fills the silence.

They all stay on the beach quite late, enjoying the fire and the warm night air, and how bright the moon and stars are. It seems as if they want the night to stretch as long as possible, Dahyun silently wishing time would freeze so they don’t have to return to such heavy business at the palace. But eventually they must turn in for the night, Dahyun and Mina giving hushed goodnights to Mina’s parents before heading up the stairs quietly, tiredly dressing for bed, slipping under the covers and lying face one another.

“Dahyun?” Mina whispers suddenly. 

“Hm?” Dahyun opens her eyes, seeing Mina looking at her with intensity, realizing she hadn’t been trying to sleep at all yet. 

“Thank you for talking about some of your home life, even if it was not the nicest things.” Mina shifts, moving to pull Dahyun in close to her, letting their foreheads rest together. “You can always talk to me, about anything. I will never judge you, or think less of you. You will always be the best person I have ever met.” 

“You say all these kind things about me and I am unsure what I did to deserve them,” Dahyun laughs nervously, heart skipping a beat at being so close to Mina like this. 

“You are wonderful, and you need to start realizing it,” Mina says in such a soft, sincere tone it makes Dahyun feel like she’s melting. Then, the older woman leans up and presses a warm, solid kiss to Dahyun’s forehead. “Rest well, dear.” 

“Rest well.” Dahyun moves so she can rest her face on Mina’s shoulder, almost tucked in the crook of her neck, a safe, happy feeling settling over her as she drifts off. 

~

The morning dawns heavy and bleak, a silence overcoming everyone as Mina and Dahyun pack to leave. Thankfully, the carriage that had brought the letter stayed, knowing Mina would have to return to the palace that morning, so all that keeps them at the cottage are goodbyes. Mina is tearful as she hugs her parents, both of them whispering to her that they’re proud of her, that everything will be alright, and to write to them to keep them updated as the trial begins. To Dahyun’s surprise, Mina’s parents each give her an equally tight hug and tell her it was wonderful to officially meet her, and that they hope she continues to enjoy the palace. 

As the carriage sets off, Mina just buries her face in her hands, and Dahyun knows she’s crying. She hates how turbulent things have been lately; even the fleeting moments of happiness they’ve had seem overshadowed by the constant pressure and weight of this attack and the looming trial. “Are you alright, your Highness?” Dahyun murmurs, assuming they are reverting back to formalities now, and Mina doesn’t correct her. 

“I will be,” Mina whispers, taking a shaky breath. “I had just hoped I would not have to hold a trial so early in my ruling.”

“What does a trial entail?” Dahyun asks hesitantly. 

“I preside as judge, and the council is a sort of jury,” Mina explains softly. “We bring forth the criminal, charges are assigned, the case is discussed. Sometimes it takes a day, sometimes it could take weeks. But the final decision is mine to make, on what their verdict is, and their sentence.” She swallows hard, like she feels sick. 

“That is far too much pressure on one person,” Dahyun frowns, hating that this is Mina’s responsibility. 

“Some monarchs enjoy this part the most, but it is the part I absolutely dread.” Mina sits back with a sigh. “I do not want to make the wrong decision, or abuse my power.” 

“You will not, I am sure of it,” Dahyun says as reassuringly as she can.

The ride back seems to go much faster than the ride away from the palace, and it’s almost as if Dahyun blinks and they are already rolling through the South village. She looks over the houses, people outside, tending to gardens, children playing the grass. This is where Jihyo and Jeongyeon grew up, Dahyun remembers hearing that the previous night. Thinking of them makes her wonder again what Mina meant by saying they enjoy each other’s company. Who does not enjoy their friend’s company? Dahyun furrows her brow, pondering, unable to decode whatever secretive meaning was in the sentence. Perhaps she’s thinking too much into it. They enjoy each other’s company, so they live together, just as Mina enjoys Dahyun’s company so she wants her to live with her even into old age. That’s all Dahyun can fathom it to mean. 

“We have arrived, your Majesty!” The carriage driver calls, and Mina takes a deep breath, waving Dahyun out of the carriage and following behind her closely. They are escorted into the palace by four guards, who huddle close around Mina, and Dahyun feels tense. There must still be fear of her safety, even after catching the culprits of the attack. They are all silent as they walk inside, and it seems Jeongyeon and Jihyo are waiting for her as the second the door shuts behind them they’re pulling Mina into a hug. 

“We missed you,” Jeongyeon tells her softly. 

“Have things been calm?” Mina asks in a worried tone. 

“Very much so,” Jihyo answers, wanting to ease her mind. Jeongyeon has a hand on Jihyo’s back now as the shorter woman takes Mina’s hands in hers. “It was terrible when they brought the criminals in, though. We all stood on the front steps, watching the guards hauling them in one by one. There were so many.” 

“Do you have an estimate?” Mina presses, wanting all the details. Dahyun hovers behind her, not wanting to intrude, keeping her gaze fixed on her shoes, studying the details of the polished marble floor.

“At least twenty,” Jeongyeon says. “But there was one ring leader who organized the entire thing. Sunmi speculates he is in charge of a whole rebel group.”

“Sunmi is usually right about such things,” Mina sighs. “We must gather the council swiftly and begin the trial in an hour. There is no point putting such things off.” 

“Your Highness?” Dahyun says in a meek voice, capturing Mina’s attention. “What shall I do through all of this? 

“You can attend the trial, if you would like,” Mina replies. “But I wholeheartedly understand if you do not.” 

“I will be there,” Dahyun insists. She wants to be there in case Mina needs her, to offer even a silent aura of support and comfort. And truly, she is oddly curious, even a little fascinated, with how such a trial would work. She did not know such a thing even existed, and she wants to understand. She wants to see the inner workings of it all. She wants to look the people who threatened Mina’s precious life in the face, let them know that everyone in the palace stands behind her. She doesn’t like to think of hatred, but she thinks it can be reserved for times like this, for the people who want to harm Mina.

So while Mina is in her advisory meeting, Dahyun unpacks their belongings in Mina’s chamber, feeling somewhat comforted by it’s familiarity, at how it looks untouched since they left. Mina’s brush is in the exact same spot it was when she last set it down, the teapot from their nighttime chamomile tea still on the table. Everything has been turned upside down, but the small things are still there, the little details that make the palace feel like home are still intact. Dahyun breathes deeply, the scent of the chamber a homey one, one that soothes her nerves. Everything will be okay. Despite all this, despite the conflicting and confusing feelings, the all too fleeting moments of joy and heavy moments of grief, everything will be alright.

A knock at the chamber door startles Dahyun, and she cautiously walks over to open the door a crack, relaxing and opening it all the way when she sees it’s only Sunmi. “I was sent to collect you.” Sunmi smiles warmly at her, waving her into the hallway. “Mina said you were interested in attending the trial?” 

“Yes ma’am,” Dahyun nods, and Sunmi turns so they can begin walking. 

“Miss Kim,” Sunmi sighs, and Dahyun wonders where this is going. “Mina speaks of you frequently.” 

“She does?” Dahyun never would have thought Mina would talk about her, especially to her advisors. 

“Yes, she does,” Sunmi grins again, turning a corner to head up a staircase, Dahyun hurrying after her. “At least once an advisory meeting you are brought up. Not to mention all the times in our casual conversations.” 

“What does she say?” Dahyun is so curious, wondering if it’s inappropriate to ask, but too interested to not pose the question. 

“It is nothing bad,” Sunmi assures her, leading her down a corridor towards a set of double doors. “She mentions how hard working you are, how glad she is she chose you as a handmaiden. She is quite fond of you.” Dahyun smiles, pinkness tinting her cheeks. The fact Mina says nice things about her even when she isn’t around warms her heart. “You can choose a seat anywhere in the gallery when we go in, but I must sit at the table with Mina,” Sunmi explains, and Dahyun nods, following her inside the double doors and peering around. 

There are wooden benches with a walkway in between, almost like a church, except instead of an altar there is a raised table where Mina sits, a chair slightly lower than hers beside her for Sunmi to sit in. On Mina’s other side is a decently sized bell, and Dahyun wonders for a moment why it’s placed where it is. The rest of the council takes up the entire first row of the benches, so Dahyun takes a seat in the third row, letting out a shaky breath. Mina catches her eye, giving a tense half smile, and Dahyun tries to give her a reassuring smile back. There are plenty of other maids and palace workers on the benches too, seeming interested just as Dahyun is to watch the trial unfold. Dahyun crosses her legs, folds her hands in her lap, and tries to not let her nerves get the best of her. Everyone is chattering quietly among themselves, even Mina leaning to speak softly with Sunmi for a few moments. 

Sunmi gives a curt nod to something Mina says, face serious, and then Mina sighs sitting back in her seat. She picks something up from the assortment of things in front of her, using it to ding the bell, signaling everyone silence. Dahyun straightens up, trying to relax her shoulders, watching Mina attentively. 

“We are gathered to begin the trial for those involved in the rebel break in just a few nights ago,” Mina begins, voice commanding, so different from her sweet, hushed tones she uses when it’s just her and Dahyun. “I am breaking from tradition; rather than beginning with the smallest charges, I will be starting with the largest culprit.” She takes a steeling breath, and then looks to Sunmi for a moment. 

“Bring in the accused,” Sunmi orders. 

The double doors open, guards marching in with a man in their custody, hands bound by chains. Dahyun feels like all of the air is sucked straight out of her lungs, doing a double take. She can’t be seeing right, she tells herself, blinking hard a few times, mouth going dry, panic rising in her chest. Pain contorts her face when he looks right back at her, like he can’t recognize her at first, until the realization settles, and Dahyun’s stomach turns when her father lunges away from the guards in her direction.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> @bbygirldahyun on tumblr and @bbygiridahyun on twitter <3


	8. Chapter Eight

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you all so much for your patience in waiting for this chapter, and for all the lovely comments every leaves! i'm so honored you all enjoy this story so much. i know this might be an unexpected direction, one people might not like, but i'm proud of this chapter so i hope you will all like it as well. 
> 
> also i'm sorry if there's any typos, i've had an eventful night to say the least and i wasn't at my best proofreading. all that aside, enjoy!

A sharp breath in through her nose. Her pulse roaring in her ears. Breath sucked right out of her lungs. 

“Dahyun!” 

It’s piercing, his shout of her name, how his eyes are full of recognition and anger and almost smugness, too, leaving Dahyun trembling in her seat. She should run, she thinks, but she’s frozen in place. 

“Dahyun!” 

He yells again, a familiar sound, one she had heard at home from across the fields while they would farm. It is so different now, filled with so much vitriol. A hand on Dahyun’s shoulder startles her, and she whips her head around, seeing the courtroom in an uproar, and Jihyo pulling her to her feet hurriedly. “Come now,” Jihyo orders quietly, tugging her out of the room and nearly running with her in tow down winding corridors until they are down a small, narrow little hallway that seems to have nothing but linen closets and storage spaces. “Breathe, Miss Kim,” Jihyo squeezes her hands hard, then, searching her face for a sign she’s alright. 

“H-He is, he is-” Dahyun can’t breathe, stunned beyond words, beyond breathing. It feels like a dream - no, a nightmare, seeing his face, knowing he is the one behind the attack. The one who wanted to kill Mina. Who still wants her dead now, and he is in the same room as her. If he could fight the guards off he would easily be able to kill Mina, and that thought does nothing to calm Dahyun. 

“You know him,” Jihyo murmurs, a statement, not a question. “He is your father, I presume?” Dahyun nods, desperately clutching onto Jihyo’s hands like they are a lifeline and she is drowning at sea. “I understand tense familial relationships,” Jihyo tries to smile, though it’s weary, and Dahyun just swallows thickly. 

“Dahyun,” Mina’s voice hits her ears and she looks quickly, seeing the woman at the end of the hallway, lifting the heavy skirt of her gown so she can run to reach Dahyun, looking her over with worry. “What in the world was that?” 

“I told you at the shore,” Dahyun manages, scared now that Mina will blame her, that she will assume Dahyun was in on it somehow, and has been feeding her father information. “My father is not fond of the royal family.” 

“That is quite the way to put it,” Mina remarks, eyes heavy, tone even heavier. “Are you alright, darling? He did not hurt you did he?” Mina is nothing but concern, cupping Dahyun’s face, looking her over for wounds or upsetness. 

“No,” Dahyun feels this overwhelming urge, not even sure what she’s yearning for but looking at Mina she just feels her heart squeezing, desiring some level of closeness beyond a simple hug. She wants comfort, and she wants to comfort Mina all in one, but a hug will have to suffice, Dahyun concludes, as she dives into Mina’s arms and clutches her tighty. “Are you hurt? Did he say anything to you?” 

“Nothing I cannot forget in a moment,” Mina whispers, melting with Dahyun in her arms. “I am just glad you are safe and not too shaken up, I hope?” 

“I will be alright,” Dahyun assures her. 

“What happened to him, Mina?” Jihyo asks, startling both Dahyun and Mina, who in their haste to comfort one another sort of forgot Jihyo was there. 

“The guards had to…” She shoots a look at Dahyun, like she’s hesitating to say this in front of her. “They had to pin him and drag him away to restrain him further. Clearly he is more adept at escape than we had planned.” 

Dahyun feels a pang in her stomach. She cannot imagine her father pinned to the ground by palace guards, probably fighting tooth and nail the entire time. So many things are falling into place, now, as she thinks back on her life before moving to the palace. Her father was absent, to say the least, leaving Dahyun to care for and basically raise her siblings. She had always wondered where he went every night, assuming he was at the tavern, given how late he would arrive home. Now, she is wondering if perhaps all those nights he was out, unwilling to speak a word of where he was or who he saw, he was meeting with the other rebels, plotting and planning. Figuring out how to take Mina’s life. 

“If I had known he…” Dahyun feels tears, suddenly, her eyes welling up. “I had no clue he was planning anything…I-” 

“I know, Dahyun,” Mina says instantly, not a moment of doubt in her voice. “I know you.” 

“We need to hold another meeting of the council,” Jihyo says then, as if she’s still half lost in thought. “This changes everything, her knowledge of who he is.” 

“She is innocent, Jihyo,” Mina says, anger incredibly evident in her tone. 

“I was not trying to say anything to the contrary,” Jihyo amends, shooting Dahyun a sympathetic look. “But the other members might. It is a discussion that must be had, plain and simple.” 

So an official recess of the court is called, an emergency advisory meeting called to order. Dahyun is expecting to be told to go and wait in Mina’s chambers, but she finds herself being led down to the advisory room, eyes widening in shock as Mina ushers her in the door. “Since you will be the topic of discussion I believe you have every right to be present.”

“Your Grace?” Dahyun says in a tense voice, prompting Mina to meet her eyes. “Whatever happens, it has been an honor to serve you.” 

“Do not say such things, like you are saying goodbye,” Mina whispers through the tearfulness in her tone. “You are too important for me to lose.” 

“Let us call this meeting to order,” Sunmi announces, prompting everyone to take their seats. There are two benches with desks in front of them, two at each bench, with Sunmi and Mina standing at the front of the room with a lectern for each of them to have notes or anything of that nature on. On the wall behind them is a huge map of the entire kingdom and the surrounding kingdoms, and Dahyun finds herself studying it as she leans against the wall in the back of the room. She finds her village on the map, northeast of the palace right in the middle, feeling an unexpected wave of nostalgia wash over her. She cannot imagine how her siblings will manage, now that her father will at the best be a prisoner for life and at worst be executed. The eldest after Dahyun is her ten year old sister - she cannot run the house alone. They will die. 

“Why is she here?” One of the two old men left on the council, one of the only things reminiscent of Mina’s father’s rule left, says in a nasty tone. 

“If she is going to be discussed she should be here to hear what is being said,” Mina replies pointedly. “Besides, would you not like to hear what she has to say?” That shuts him up effectively, and Sunmi moves to begin the meeting truly. 

“Kim Dahyun, what is your relation to the man who is being put on trial?” Sunmi asks in an even paced tone. 

“He is my father,” Dahyun says in a quivering voice, hands clammy as she lets them brush against her apron. 

“Did you have prior knowledge of your father’s plans to launch a rebel attack on the kingdom?” 

“Of course not,” Dahyun is determined to plead her case as best she can, Mina’s words about not saying goodbye ringing in her ears. “I am dedicated to her Majesty and would never deliberately do anything to put her in danger. I promised her my eternal servitude and I am still promising it today.” 

“You can never believe a word these poor bastards from the north villages say!” The other older man spits.

“How do we know you are even in your right mind, sir?” Jeongyeon says suddenly. “You know people go a bit funny when they get older.” Jihyo shoots her an absolutely mortified look. “I am simply posing a question!” 

“Dahyun is an honest and genuine person,” Mina intervenes, without even thinking using Dahyun’s first name rather than her more official way of addressing the girl. “She does not have a malicious bone in her body, and if she says she did not know anything then she did not. Simple as that.” 

“You refer to her by her first name?” The first old man who spoke asks, a skeptical look on his face. 

“Why is that of your concern?” Mina retorts, and Dahyun can see her annoyance rising, her temper wearing thin. “We live very closely together, she is not simply my handmaiden but my friend, someone very dear to my heart. So yes, I will call her her given name.” 

“And does she use proper honorifics for you?” He poses next, and Mina clenches her jaw in anger. 

“How is that pertinent to the discussion at hand?” Sunmi says with an incredulous laugh. “My goodness, is her Majesty on trial? You have no right to question your Queen in such a way.” 

“It is pertinent,” He puts extra emphasis on the last word, shooting Sunmi a glare. “Because if she cannot even respect her Queen with basic formalities then she clearly is not respectful of the royal family or what the kingdom upholds.”

“I have always referred to her Highness with respect and admiration, and have always been formal and polite when addressing her,” Dahyun finally speaks up, tired of listening to them berate her in such a way. She feels a bit guilty, omitting the fact that when they were at the shore she had not been using formalities, but that was different. The shore was like a time away from this, a different place. It was a place where they were not royalty and servant and were simply two people enjoying life side by side. 

“I believe what you seem to be missing is that instead of assuming she is a criminal we should be assuming she is an asset,” Jihyo is so collected, leveling gazes with the men at the table across from she and Jeongyeon’s. “Though she does not have intimate knowledge of the plan, she has knowledge of him as a person, and that is invaluable.” 

“So what, you suggest we have her stand trial?” One man scoffs, shaking his head. 

“That is exactly what I am suggesting,” Jihyo goes on, just curt enough to drive her point home. 

“All of this nonsense is exactly why women should not be permitted on the council!” The man slams a fist on his table. “This is a bunch of nonsense, these women think they know what is best and they have no clue! You have no clue!” 

“Do not speak to her like that,” Jeongyeon places a protective arm around Jihyo’s waist, eyes burning with anger, furious in her tone. “We are all on the same council whether you like it or not and you will at the very least ignore her presence if you cannot respect her.” 

“Jeong,” Jihyo murmurs, trying to calm her, taking her hand. “It is alright.” 

“Miss Park I think you made a very compelling point,” Sunmi says. “Miss Kim gives us a plethora of insight into the life and mind of our suspect, which we should not take for granted.” 

“Dahyun,” Mina says suddenly, capturing her gaze. “Would you be willing to stand trial?” 

It will be hard, Dahyun thinks, to divulge all of the very personal and harsh realities of her home life. But she will do this, if for nothing more than to see justice is served. “Anything for your Majesty,” She whispers, and Mina smiles sadly. 

The meeting is adjourned shortly after, both men leaving with a huff, not sparing a second glance to everyone else in the room. Mina immediately walks over to Dahyun and without a word opens her arms for Dahyun to curl into her. “You are brave,” She murmurs. “You have a courageous heart.” 

“I do not feel very brave,” Dahyun admits in a wavering tone, tears making a reappearance in her eyes, falling onto the fabric of Mina’s gown. “I am petrified.” 

“You do not have to be fearless to be brave, darling,” Mina whispers, and something about the way she calls Dahyun that just makes her heart soar. “You can be scared, but you are still doing an admirable thing. That should not be overlooked.” 

“Thank you for defending me,” Dahyun smiles even with her watery eyes, looking up at Mina. It’s like everything in the world comes to a halt when she looks at Mina, like no matter what is happening everything is alright. She looks at Mina and she feels like she is home. She had never truly had a home in her village, and even now she realizes it isn’t the palace that feels like home to her but it is Mina, and her warmth and love and her easy affection and the way she lets names like ‘dear’ and ‘darling’ roll right off her tongue like they were made for Dahyun. 

“You will always be worth defending,” Mina says with nothing but sincerity in every word. “I cannot imagine how hard this must be for you.” 

“Is it bad I want to speak to him?” Dahyun blurts out suddenly, a bit frightened at the prospect, and yet still craving it if for nothing more than to ask why he would choose this over caring for his children. He knew he would most likely be caught and executed trying to pull off that attack, and he did not stop for a moment and consider the four young children he was leaving at home already without a mother, without their older sister, and now without a father as well. 

“It is more than understandable,” Mina assures her, leading her to exit the room and to begin walking down the hallway. “If you would like to speak to him you may, but there will be guards present.” Dahyun nods, not trusting herself to speak, agreeing before she can decide against it and back out.

So she is led to where the prisoners are held temporarily during trials, being let into a small room, Mina assuring her she will wait outside for her the entire time. Two guards stand on either side of a barred cell with, another guard manning the door. Dahyun feels safer with this many guards, breathing a subtle sigh of relief even as her heart rate picks up seeing her father’s face again. 

“You look healthy,” He says finally, standing calmly at the very edge of the cell. 

“I am,” Dahyun replies in barely a whisper of a voice. “I have three meals a day here.” 

“If only we all could have three meals,” Her father laughs humorlessly. “When I heard you were her handmaiden I felt as if I could be sick. You have chosen her over your village, your family.” 

“You are bold to speak of choosing something over family,” Dahyun has never spoken to anyone this way, but years of resentment and exhaustion and anger have built to this moment. “You chose being a rebel over caring for your own children. I was sixteen years old and you dumped four children and a household on my shoulders!” 

“I was there,” He spits back. “I made sure each one of you was safe in bed every night.” 

“Yes, safe and starving in bed every night,” Dahyun refuses to cry, not wanting to give him the satisfaction. “We had no food, no clothes. What was I meant to do? Coming here and working was a way to have money sent to you back home. I was still providing for them even when I was not there.” 

“Perhaps I could stomach it if you were simply a maid, or a cook, but to serve her so directly…” The disgust in his eyes makes Dahyun’s skin crawl. “That is the ultimate betrayal, Dahyun. How can you dedicate yourself to someone who would not care one ounce about you if you were not useful to her?”

“She is not how you paint her to be,” His harsh words against Mina have truly struck a nerve. “She is generous and kind, and she loves her kingdom.” She remembers then, Mina’s words on the shore; ‘I adore you.’ Without a second thought Dahyun mutters, “I would like to believe she loves me as well.” 

“You are living in a delusion,” Her father laughs at her, really laughs, and she is stunned to silence. “She does not give a damn about you! What are you to her? Some poor little farm girl she can wave around as a charity case? You are dirt under her feet.”

Dahyun’s throat constricts, the dam breaking and tears pouring down her cheeks. That can’t be true, can it? Mina loves her, right? She has done nothing but show Dahyun the utmost of love and adoration, has even said she considers Dahyun a friend. But her father’s words ring in her mind, making her wonder if Mina would care about her if she wasn’t useful to her. Would Mina even spare her a glance if she had met her when she was nothing but a starving peasant desperately working for something better? 

“You should be home, with your siblings,” Her father says more calmly. “They need you.” 

“They needed you!” Dahyun yells. “We all needed you! We needed food, and you refused to work for anything, and for what? To play vigilante and rot in a cell until you die? I am disgusted even looking at you.” She leaves then, not even giving him the chance to reply, immediately bursting into horrible, choked sobs the second she’s out of the room. She hates that his guards heard all of that, and that Mina probably even heard some of it through the door.

“Oh Dahyun,” Mina is there instantly, as always, arms cradling Dahyun tightly. “I am right here, let it out.” Despite all of the tears, finally saying all of that feels like a weight off of Dahyun’s shoulders. She had never had the courage to say how she really felt when she was still living in her village. 

“My siblings,” She cries softly. “They have nobody.”

“We can arrange something for them, do not worry about that,” Mina assures her, rubbing her back gently. “I am worried about you.” 

“I wonder if I should go back to my village,” Dahyun murmurs through her tears, and she feels Mina tense then, and it makes her heart ache. She does not want to leave Mina, to leave the palace which now feels like her home. To leave a place with a warm bed and three meals a day and all of the beauties of living alongside Mina. But when she thinks of her siblings, scared and alone and wondering what they will do to survive, she feels a pang of guilt in her stomach she cannot ignore. She is their only source of life, of sustenance, and without someone in the house to use the money she’s been making they will starve, suffer, and die. 

“If you think that is best,” Mina whispers, a gentle hand caressing Dahyun’s cheek, so familiar, grounding her. “It is selfish of me to say I would miss you terribly, but I cannot deny I would. I do understand your loyalty to your family, and I admire your dedication to them.” 

“I do not want to leave you,” Dahyun confesses quietly, throat squeezing as tears roll down her cheeks again, as she truly considers the prospect of not seeing Mina ever again. How could she return to life as it was before the palace? Could she continue on without dwelling on what she’s missing? Could she manage to go through her days without thinking of Mina, yearning for her? 

“You can mull it over for the night,” Mina tells her. “I assure you someone would have taken your siblings somewhere to be cared for when they took your father into custody. They will be alright until we make a more permanent final decision.” 

“You always know what to do,” Dahyun remarks, and Mina smiles tensely. 

“That is my job, to know what to do,” Mina laughs, and Dahyun curls into her further, letting her face tuck into Mina’s neck. She can take this night to think, to enjoy what might be one of her final nights in the palace. 

“When will the trial commence?” Dahyun asks, sniffling, leaning back to wipe at her eyes and try to compose herself. 

“Whenever I call the court back to order,” Mina replies, and Dahyun nods, sighing heavily. She doesn’t want to do this. She’s gone through too much already today, seeing her father again, knowing she might have to return home, knowing the men on the council believe she is somehow conspiring against one of the people she values most in her life. At least Jihyo and Jeongyeon are on her side and defended her. And it seemed, at least, that Sunmi did not think she was guilty either. 

“It is better not to put it off,” Dahyun says finally, trying to relax her shoulders, unclench her jaw. “We should proceed as soon as possible.” 

“I admire you,” Mina tells her suddenly. “You are the strongest person I know.” 

Dahyun looks up at Mina then, seeing the pure admiration, awe, and love in her eyes, and she knows then that what her father said about Mina cannot be true. Perhaps he may believe it is, but Dahyun knows better. She knows the depth of Mina’s love and devotion to all of her kingdom, she knows the passion she has for change, and she can only assume that her genuine care extends to Dahyun as well. Dahyun tries to smile, to show Mina she is touched, a bit too choked up to speak. Mina seems to know, smiling too, before picking up her hands and bringing Dahyun’s knuckles up to her lips for a tender, delicate kiss, the left hand first, the right hand second. 

They walk together in silence, Mina reaching to wind an arm around Dahyun’s waist, wanting to comfort her still. The entirety of the Council is gathered outside of the doors to the courtroom, Jihyo and Jeongyeon shooting them both comforting smiles, Sunmi waiting impassively, the two men stone faced and angered still. 

“We may resume,” Mina says softly as they approach, nodding curtly. Sunmi waves them all in, directing Dahyun to the second bench behind Jihyo and Jeongyeon’s seats. 

“Mina will call you up when it is time for your statement,” Sunmi explains quietly. “You will step to that chair, sit facing the audience, and simply answer the questions as directed by myself or Mina.” 

“I understand,” Dahyun nods, and Sunmi places a hand on her shoulder, squeezing tightly. “Thank you, Miss Lee,” Dahyun says abruptly, and Sunmi only smiles before turning and heading back to her seat. 

“Thank you all for your patience,” Mina says to the room, everyone instantly straightening up and giving her their full attention. “Within our short recess we have found quite a bit of valuable information, and it was aid us greatly in the proceedings that will follow. Please know, time was not wasted.” 

“Bring in the accused,” Sunmi orders once again, and the doors open, and Dahyun tries not to turn and look but she can’t help herself, shifting in her seat to watch as her father is led inside by guards, arms bound, ankles chained as well, giving him a slight hobble. He is calm, now, not even turning to look in Dahyun’s direction, though she’s sure he knows she’s there. He looks withered, and like he’s been crying, which shocks Dahyun greatly; she has only seen her father cry once in her entire life, when her mother died.

“You have been accused of plotting and attempting to carry out a rebel plan to take the life of your Queen, is that correct sir?” Sunmi asks in a formal tone. 

“Yes,” Dahyun’s father says in a hushed voice, much quieter than she is used to him speaking. 

“How do you plead?” 

“Guilty.” 

The entire courtroom erupts into gasps and soft whispers, Dahyun’s eyes flying wide, unsure why he would incriminate himself in such a way. Nobody pleads guilty to such a crime, knowing it will make them as good as dead. She cannot understand why her father would do such a thing, why he wouldn’t put up a fight. 

“I alone take responsibility,” He continues, quieting everyone as they strain to hear his hoarse tone. “I had every intention to kill the Queen, while the people working alongside me thought we were simply going to steal. I thought their robbery would distract the guards and allow me to murder her Majesty without a fight.” 

Mina’s face is plain, listening intently, not at all horrified at how easily he speaks of wanting to take her life. She allows her eyes to flick to Dahyun, seeing the horror on the girl’s face and feeling her heart clench, but knowing she cannot allow herself to focus too much on anything besides the trial now. 

“I accept whatever my punishment may be,” He turns back and looks at Dahyun, then, finally, tears glistening in his eyes. “Just please do not hurt my children.” 

Tears form in Dahyun’s eyes again, looking at her father, someone she used to love, someone she still holds some of that love for. He wasn’t always so distant, he was a caring father until her mother fell ill. They all dealt with her mother’s death in different ways, and it clearly hollowed him out entirely. She doesn’t know if she can forgive him for everything, or anything, really, but she understands now why he’s doing this - he wants to try to finally take responsibility. 

“Your children will be well taken care of,” Mina promises softly. “I assure you that.” Dahyun can see tears welling slightly in Mina’s eyes, can see how she’s biting back her emotions, and it just makes her heart crumble. 

“Should we call our witness to stand?” Sunmi asks then, brow furrowed in worry. 

“I do not think that is necessary, given his confession,” Mina remarks, and Sunmi nods instantly in agreement. 

Dahyun lets out a breath she didn’t realize she was holding, realizing she won’t have to divulge all of the awful details of the last decade or so of her life. She sighs, burying her face in her hands as a sob wracks her body, shoulders sagging. She feels a warm hand reaching out to touch her shoulder, another stroking her hair, and she knows it’s Jihyo and Jeongyeon, turning around in their seats to check on her. 

“Court is adjourned, the official sentence will be announced tomorrow publically,” Mina decides then, the clink of her father’s restraints bringing her to lift her head and look back to him as he’s being led away. He watches her as he walks, solemn, accepting his fate, and yet Dahyun knows it weighs heavily on him - she will have no parents left after this, a crime of this caliber will be met with nothing but execution. 

It seems everyone is holding their breath, the silence in the room deafening as they all shuffle around to try and go back to some semblance of a normal day. Dahyun is numb, not thinking to move until Mina is right in front of her, kneeling on the bench so she can lean and take Dahyun’s face in her hands. “Everything will be okay, dear,” She murmurs, and Dahyun panics, looking around to see the entire Council staring at them, seeing this intimate of a moment, but it seems Mina doesn’t care. She only has eyes for Dahyun. 

“H-He…” She can't articulate herself right now, trembling, mind scrambled and beyond a coherent thought. 

“I know, I know,” Mina sighs, eyes heavy, and Dahyun just can’t make this decision harder on her by expressing how hard it would be, regardless of her feelings for her father, to lose another parent. She can’t burden Mina with that thought as she makes her final sentencing decision. “Trust me, I do not take a decision like this lightly.” 

Dahyun nods, not trusting herself to speak, and Mina knows not to push her. So they rise, hands clenched together as Mina shoos the Council to go back to their everyday lives. She leads Dahyun through the corridors and down staircases until they finally reach the safety of Mina chambers, Dahyun exhaling a shaky breath as she allows her to collapse onto Mina’s bed, limbs no longer having the strength. 

“You have suffered too much,” Mina tells her softly, sitting beside her and stroking her hair very delicately, not forcing her to move, not fussing too much and overwhelming her either. “I am so sorry for all of the loss in your young life.” 

“It is not your fault,” Dahyun croaks hoarsely, and Mina sighs. 

“I know I cannot fix it, or undo it, but I will work my hardest to make things better in this kingdom,” Mina promises, and Dahyun knows, she knows how important that is to Mina, how she is working against the grain to fix the inherent issues in their kingdom. It means so much to Dahyun to see her passion, her dedication, and she knows even if she does leave the palace she will leave having the full knowledge things will be better one day. 

They sit in silence for a long while, Mina’s hand stable and warm rubbing up and down Dahyun’s back and she just lies on the bed and allows herself to cry herself out. It’s a different sort of intimacy than the affection and sharing a bed, it’s a vulnerable moment, but Dahyun appreciates Mina’s patience and sincerity in her allowing herself to be emotionally bare and sensitive. 

“How about you use my bathing chamber tonight,” Mina suggests suddenly. “It would be relaxing for you, I think.”

“I do not want t-to take that from you, or do anything inappropriate…” Dahyun sits up, eyes red and swollen from crying, and Mina just frowns at how broken the girl looks. 

“I am offering it to you,” Mina reminds her, taking her hands. “Besides, you should experience pleasures like this in case you do leave to return home while you can.” 

It dampens the mood further, a reminder of Dahyun’s possible departure, but she understands the sweetness in Mina’s gesture as well and she smiles half heartedly. “That would be lovely, thank you.” 

She watches with fondness at how Mina bustles around the room even in her big gown to try and heat water for the bath, searching for her softest towel for Dahyun, preparing the chamber for the girl to take her bath as peacefully as possible. When Dahyun enters the chamber, there’s only one candle lit, leaving the room in a soft, hazy golden glow, the water steaming in the tub. 

“Let me put your hair up, darling,” Mina waves her over, an ornate hair clip with intricately placed pearls on it in hand, and Dahyun’s eyes widen slightly. Before she can protest, Mina turns her around, loosely twisting her hair up and securing it with the hair clip, and she can hear the smile in Mina’s voice when she murmurs, “It looks beautiful in your hair.” 

“Thank you, your Highness,” Dahyun whispers, Mina’s hands falling to her shoulders gently. 

“You will be alright on your own?” Mina asks then, a hesitation to her voice. 

“I will,” Dahyun promises, throat tight. “I am alright.” Mina leans in then, a kiss pressed to the nape of Dahyun’s neck, one that makes her startle and turn around, confusion and shock all over her face. 

“I am sorry, was that too forward?” Mina is worried, that much is evident, fretting over perhaps making Dahyun uncomfortable. 

“No, no…” Dahyun swallows thickly. “I just have never been kissed in such a place before.” 

Mina smiles a little, a smile that says something Dahyun isn’t sure she knows. “It is typically a place reserved for lovers to kiss.” A long sigh passes Mina’s lips. “But I do not think I will ever have one, so I will save those kisses for you.” 

Dahyun feels warm all over, practically glowing in pride at Mina reserving her kisses meant for a lover for her. She had no idea Mina considered her friend enough to give her things like that, but she cherishes it deeply. She will hold moments like these close to her heart forever. 

“Then I will too,” Dahyun says, turning Mina before she can protest and placing a kiss on the nape of Mina’s neck. “For you.” Mina’s cheeks are rosy, even in the dim light of the room Dahyun can tell that, when she turns back around. 

“Bathe now, before the water grows cold,” Mina orders gently, and Dahyun nods, waiting until she’s shut the door behind her before hurriedly undressing and climbing into the tub carefully. 

She lets out an audible noise of surprise and contentment at the warm water, pleasant on her skin. It was a luxury they could never afford at home, hot baths like this, and even since she moved to the palace she’s stuck with cool baths because she didn’t know how Mina would feel about her heating water for herself. This is such a wonderful feeling, her aching muscles relaxing slowly but surely in the hot water, leaning back against the tub and sighing, eyes falling shut. 

She begins to think that Mina does this every night, that she is in the same tub Mina uses, and it makes her smile a little. She never would have thought, coming to the palace all those months ago, she would have come to adore Mina so much. All she had wanted was to get a job to make money for her siblings, to provide for them as she’s always tried to, but she’s gotten more than that. She’s found a home, a family in Mina, she’s found someone who cares for her when she’s used to taking care of everyone else. Through everything, big and small, good and bad, she has always been able to come back to this room at night and know Mina will be there, will hug her, will remind her she’s doing her best and she is enough. 

The thought of going home rips Dahyun’s heart in two, but she cannot ignore the need her siblings have for her now. How terrified they must be, with a stranger who will only care for them so long, wondering where their father is, wondering if their sister will come back for them. She’s their sister, yes, but in some ways she feels like she’s assumed the mother role for them, and she doesn’t want them to feel abandoned by her. She has always put them first, and she always will. 

When the water has gone cold, Dahyun finally pulls herself out of the tub, wrapping her towel around herself and drying off a little bit before shuffling back into the main chamber, smiling when she sees Mina already in her nightgown, hair down and brushed, reading on her bed. 

“What are you reading, your Majesty?” Dahyun asks, adjusting her towel so it won’t slip, seeing a smile play on Mina’s lips at the question. 

“Poetry,” She answers, waving Dahyun to come onto the bed with her. “Feeling a bit sentimental tonight.” 

“You are always a bit of a sap,” Dahyun remarks teasingly, earning her a playful glare. How she will miss this if she returns home. “I was a bit frightened of you at first, you seemed very cold and standoffish, but you are actually quite lovely.” 

“Why thank you,” Mina laughs, eyes crinkling at the corners. “I do not mean to be cold, I just...sometimes I feel as if being commanding and somewhat cold is the only way for me to gain respect, and to be listened to.” 

“I can entirely understand that,” Dahyun says, thinking of the men on the Council, of the Duke who wanted to court Mina. “It is nice to know this side of you, though. Your soft, sentimental side.” 

“I am happy to share it with you,” Mina sighs, and Dahyun’s heart just clenches, feeling so overwhelmed with a need to stay, a need to be by Mina’s side. She wants both, she wants Mina and she wants to be with her siblings, but she can’t. She’s torn between the people she loves most, but Mina can survive without her, her siblings cannot. 

Hard decisions must be made, sometimes, she realizes, and this is the hardest one yet. 

She goes to her chamber to change into her nightgown, then, thinking she might just turn in for the night given how exhausting the day has been. But just as she goes to blow the candle in her room out, she hears a soft, “Dahyun?” coming from Mina, and she knows she isn’t going to turn in just yet. 

“Yes, your Grace?” She peeks her head into Mina’s chamber, seeing the poetry book placed on Mina’s bedside table now, the woman wringing her hands slightly. 

“Would you be so kind as to rest beside me tonight?” Mina looks afraid to ask, and it makes Dahyun smile almost sadly. “I… I want to cherish our time together, I hope you understand that.” 

“I would be happy to,” Dahyun tells her quickly, not wanting her to feel guilty or anxious about asking too much. Mina hardly asks Dahyun for a thing, and Dahyun knows she does much less as a maid for Mina than most handmaidens do for their monarchs. In all reality, when Dahyun tries to dote on Mina the woman fights her every move, not wanting to make Dahyun wait on her. But this, this is something Dahyun craves just as much as Mina does. 

So she hurries to extinguish the candle in her chamber and crawl into bed beside Mina, the woman’s arms open for Dahyun to curl into, letting her rest her head on Mina’s chest. It’s warm, and familiar and feels like home, and Dahyun feels all of the exhaustion setting in finally as she settles down comfortably. 

“How are you feeling?” Mina asks then, nosing gently at the crown of Dahyun’s head before pressing a kiss there. 

“Tired,” Dahyun murmurs. “How are you?” 

“Just the same,” Mina chuckles softly. “Tired, and yet my mind won’t settle.” 

“Your mind never settles, your Majesty,” Dahyun jokes sleepily, earning her a gentle poke to her ribs. 

“Have you made a decision, or are you still considering?” Mina is so quiet Dahyun almost doesn’t hear her, but she does, and it sends a searing pain through her heart. 

“I do not see another option besides returning home,” Dahyun admits, and Mina nods solemnly, trying not to allow her own feelings and wants make Dahyun feel guilty. 

“You are noble, Dahyun,” Mina whispers tearfully. A tear falls despite her best efforts, and she tries to hurriedly wipe it away. “I will miss you.” 

“I will miss you as well,” Dahyun looks up, then, their faces so close, and for a split second Dahyun thinks Mina might kiss her lips, the woman’s eyes flitting there for half a second. But perhaps Dahyun imagined it, as a moment later Mina is looking at her just as she was before, teary and broken, and Dahyun isn’t sure why Mina would kiss her in such a way anyways. 

“I will make sure you do not go hungry,” Mina whispers. “Even if you are not here anymore I will care for you still.” 

“Will you replace me?” Dahyun hates to think of anyone else sleeping in her bed, sharing a room with Mina, of someone else coming in place of her and perhaps growing as close to Mina as she has, maybe even more. 

“No, I do not think I will,” Mina says in a choked up voice. “Nobody could compare to you.” 

It’s painful, as they curl into each other’s embrace, crying onto one another without another word passed between them. The day that looms over them is bleak, but they try to ignore it for now, instead wanting to savor their final moments together, trying not to think of how much they’ll miss one another, how many unspoken words hang in the air they may never get to say.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> @bbygirldahyun on tumblr and @bbygiridahyun on twitter <3


	9. Chapter Nine

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you all so much for your patience in waiting for this one, i hope it was worth the wait! i'm nervous to see everyone's reactions...

It is a dreary, gloomy day, clouds dark gray and rain pounding down on the ground, the carriage Dahyun rides in hitting every divot in the road, making her jolt out of her thoughts every so often. It is barely noon, and yet the day has felt so long already; Dahyun does not think she’s been quite this torn up since her mother died, and that is quite a feat. Her head aches from crying, eyes red and surely swollen, throat closed up everytime she thinks of all that has happened in the last day or so. Her life has never been stable, there has always been turbulence and uprooting of any sense of comfort, but she isn’t used to this sort of hurt, this sort of loss. She’d grown so used to being the one everyone counts on, she forgot what it’s like to count on someone else until Mina. With a heavy sigh, she turns to watch the rain pouring down, the trees shaking in the wind along the path, and she wonders how far from home she is. It was an entire day’s journey walking, so it should not be too much longer before she reaches her village. 

The morning had been so pain filled, Dahyun wishes she could forget it. She had roused alone, the soft sheets of Mina’s bed cold on the Queen’s side, sitting up and finding Mina already awake and bustling around, having packed a trunk for Dahyun. It seemed as though her mind had been unable to settle much of the night, she looked so tired, and she had smiled apologetically at seeing Dahyun wake alone, explaining she had wanted to do one last thing for Dahyun by gathering her things. She had detailed everything she packed, giving Dahyun some of her own more casual clothing, allowing her to keep the hair pin she had used in the bath the night before, and even sliding in a book from the palace’s library that Mina knew to be Dahyun’s favorite. It was so thoughtful it had brought tears to Dahyun’s eyes instantly, pulling Mina in for one last tight hug and whispering her gratitude, words never seeming enough for all Mina has done for her. 

Now, Dahyun reaches to fiddle with the latches of the trunk, figuring she may as well read to pass the time until she arrives home. The longer she sits in silence, the more she becomes worried and upset. Her heart aches for Mina, wishing so badly she was still with the woman. She frets endlessly of what arriving home will be like, how she will remind herself day in and day out that this is her life again, she won’t wake up and find this was all a horrible dream. She’ll have to find a way to live without Mina, to be content with her as just a memory. She worries as well about her father, knowing that with her leaving she will not know what his sentence ended up being, and she thinks maybe that is for the better. She couldn’t imagine having to explain to her siblings if he was to be executed, so she would rather be left just as in the dark as them.

As she opens the book, a thick piece of parchment falls onto her lap, tied delicately with a silk ribbon. Brow furrowed, Dahyun picks up the parchment, carefully untying the silk and unfurling it, instantly recognizing Mina’s handwriting all down the page, confirmed by her signature at the bottom. 

Dearest Dahyun,

This is a hard letter to write. I will admit, it is devastating to have you gone, but I understand your dedication to your family and I truly admire that. You are endlessly selfless, and that is not something that is lost on me - I will simply miss you something awful. I hope that your journey home is safe and that you will be as happy as you can be when you reach there. I want to thank you for all you have done for not only me but the entire kingdom. You are one of a kind, Dahyun. 

Please, do not worry over me. Take care of yourself, and if you are ever to miss me just know whenever you do I will always be thinking of you. 

Love,   
Mina

Tears come quickly, despite Dahyun’s best efforts, letter falling back into her lap as she goes to quickly wipe away the tears tracking down her cheeks. She’s not quick enough, tears too much for her to swipe away, some splotching down onto the parchment, narrowly missing Mina’s signature before Dahyun moves it so her pretty words will not be ruined. Mina’s words have always been something she cherished, but these in particular drip with sincerity and love, every word a testament to the bond they formed together, and it hurts to see it on the page, almost a finalization of it all being over. It takes everything in Dahyun not to yell for them to turn the carriage around, trying to remember why she is going home, what she has to do there. She wonders, now, what Mina might be doing at this moment; she is probably going about her day after the sentencing, sitting in her study and writing important documents or overviewing new plans. 

Dahyun thinks of how out of her element she had felt at first in that study, books and papers she couldn’t read, figuring Mina would think her uneducated and stupid. She never dreamed Mina would dedicate so much time to teaching Dahyun to read and write, and she would never have imagined that she would ever be given one of the Queen’s books as a gift. So many nights they spent by the fireplace, reading over each other’s shoulders, or even reading aloud until they grew too drowsy and had to turn in. Mina had introduced Dahyun to a whole new world of literature, something she never thought she would get to experience, and she feels so lucky she has even a small piece of it to keep as a memory. It is something Dahyun is grateful for going home, that she can now teach her siblings to read when they have time, give them a better chance of moving up the ranks and finding better jobs as adults. 

She knows she is close to home when the mountains fall into the distance behind the carriage and ahead are sprawling fields, freshly harvested from the looks of it, and yet people are still dotting the landscape, working, all turning almost collectively to gawk at the carriage obviously from the palace rolling down their little dirt streets. Nobody from the palace comes to the village, even when their crops are collected it’s by someone from a wealthier village and not a palace representative directly, so it doesn’t surprise Dahyun when she hears hollering and everyone begins pointing at the carriage. 

Her cottage looks the same as always, run down and withered, roof looking like it’s gained some new patches even in the months she’s been gone. The carriage comes to a stop outside, and Dahyun takes a deep breath, packing the trunk back up and hauling it out and down the step behind her. She thanks the driver, flashing him a warm smile, before hesitantly heading up the pathway. It doesn’t feel like home anymore, she feels like an intruder here, especially out of place in her palace made clothing, clothing that once belonged to Mina. But she has to bite the bullet and push the door open, peering around at the eerie familiarity of it all, shuddering a little. She has grown so used to the warmth and cleanliness of the palace, the dirt floor and dingy lighting is foreign now.

“Look!” She hears a shout, and then she feels a tiny body colliding with her legs. A smile breaking out on her face, she reaches down to scoop up her brother, seeing the disbelief on his face. “Dahyun is home!” 

“Dahyun?” Her sisters all come charging at her next, the three of them barreling into her hold, and she struggles to hold all four of them at once, having to kneel down to let them all cling to her. They all find a way to wriggle into her hold, desperate for a place hugging her, and she squeezes her eyes shut to prevent more tears from falling as she hears them all murmuring how much they’ve missed her.

“I missed you all so much,” She whispers tearfully, pain searing through her at the sight of her siblings after so long. They look healthier than when she left them, and she hopes that’s partly due to the money that was being sent to them from her working at the palace.

“Why have you left the palace?” Her oldest sister asks, eyes heavy with worry. 

“So I could come home and be with you,” Dahyun doesn’t want them feeling guilty about her leaving her place there, so she tries to emphasize it was a choice, however a hard one it was to make. 

“Your clothes are fancy!” Her youngest sister exclaims, grabbing at the fabric to feel it, looking so mesmerized with such expensive material in her grasp. “Why do we not have nice clothing like this?” 

“It was a gift from the Queen,” Dahyun answers patiently, leading all of them further into the cottage so they can gather by the small, sputtering fire for a bit of warmth. “I can try to sew you all something like it.” 

“You look healthy,” Her oldest sister says in a soft voice, reaching and taking Dahyun’s hand. Her brother sits in her lap, all of her sisters crowded around her, and it feels normal, somehow. She will always remember nights like this, huddled together for as much warmth as they can glean, whispering in hushed voices to distract from whatever was going on, now the beginning heavy winds making the cottage shake. 

“I am quite healthy,” Dahyun tries to smile, a hand running up and down her brother’s back, her other thumb rubbing over her sister’s hand in hers. “You all look healthier too, have you been eating well?” 

“Better than before,” Her middle sister, always the quietest, finally speaks. “Each week a parcel of money would arrive from the palace, so we could buy food.” 

“Good.” Dahyun could cry knowing that being at the palace truly helped, it made all of it feel worth it, like she wasn’t just being selfish. 

“Will we starve again now you are not working at the palace anymore?” Her youngest sister asks so bluntly, earning her being hushed by everyone else. 

“No, you will not starve,” Dahyun reaches to cup her cheek. “I will take care of you. Have I not always done so?” 

“What was the Queen like?” Her brother blurts out, making her laugh, happy for a change of topic. 

“She was lovely,” Dahyun sighs, watching how all of her siblings huddle closer to listen more intently. “I got to watch her coronation, and after that she picked me to be her handmaiden.” 

“You lived with the Queen?” Her middle sister looks starstruck, and it makes her chuckle. 

“Yes, I did. I got to spend most of my days with her,” Dahyun allows the nostalgia to wash over her, fondness for her first weeks at the palace warm in her heart. “She was so kind, she took very good care of me, as much as I cared for her. I got to meet the old King and Queen, we stayed at their house by the shore briefly.” 

“You saw the coast?” Her youngest sister asks, leaning into Dahyun’s side and hugging her. 

“It was beautiful,” Dahyun smiles, ruffling her hair. “If we can, one day I will take you all. The palace is south, and it is so warm even this time of year. Does that not sound lovely?” 

They all hum soft agreements, settling against Dahyun easily, seeming so at peace now she’s back home. “Where is Father?” Her oldest sister finally whispers, and the question makes Dahyun’s heart pick up. 

“He…” She can see how much her sister has matured in her time being gone, though only ten years old she looks so strong, and yet so worn down. Dahyun hates to think she assumed the role of the caregiver when Dahyun left. “He did some bad things, things that went against the kingdom. So the palace is handling him however they see fit.” 

“Will the Queen go easy on him? Because she knows you?” The hope in her siblings eyes make her heart just tear in half - after everything they’ve been through, they still love their father, and still hope he will come home.

“I do not know,” Dahyun whispers. “I do not know if she could do such a thing.” Her sister nods, eyes falling, and Dahyun just feels horrible. They have all had too much pain their young lives, and she hates to know she cannot make it all better. “But enough sad talk,” She says finally. “I will start dinner, and then I will read you a story while we wait for it to cook.” 

“Read?” Her brother asks, head tilted to the side. At five years old, he is already a spitting image of their father, though with chubbier cheeks now than when Dahyun left, rosiness in them permanent, eyes bright and lively. “You cannot read!” 

“I learned at the palace!” Dahyun counters, grinning as she pokes his nose and makes him giggle. “So if you all are patient, I will teach you too.” 

The night is calm once dinner is made, Dahyun rifling through their assortment of things bought from the market to make as hearty a stew as she can, slicing a loaf of fresh bread to go with it. She learned a bit about cooking in her time at the palace, working in the kitchen the few times she did taught her a plethora of ways to prepare food, and she is grateful for that now that she will be back to cooking everyday. Many of the ladies in the kitchen came from poorer villages, which is why despite being older they stay working at the palace, and they were happy to divulge all of their cooking secrets to Dahyun, detailing all the little tricks they knew for making food last, or making the same dish taste different in certain ways. 

“Who was looking after you?” Dahyun asks as they all sit around the little lopsided table they have, a single candle in the middle of it illuminating their faces, the only other light coming from the fireplace. Candles are sparse in their village and they cannot afford to waste the ones they have, so they only light them when it is essential. 

“The neighbors all took turns stopping by to feed us,” Her middle sister explains, nearly talking with her mouth full in her haste to eat her food. They all are eating so quickly, they must be very hungry for true food. 

“But it was not real meals, it was fruit or a loaf of bread,” Her youngest sister adds on. 

“I wish I had known sooner,” Dahyun frowns. “I will keep you well fed from now on.” 

“We know, Dahyun,” Her oldest sister looks to her with grateful eyes. “You always take care of us.”

Dahyun makes sure to get them all in bed at a decent hour, helping the younger ones dress in their night clothes, frowning at the holes in them, resolving to patch them up the following day. She finds the warmest blanket in the cottage and tucks them all in the bed the five of them used to share every night, watching how they all curl together for warmth, how their eyes droop and they’re mumbling their goodnights through yawns. Dahyun gives each of them a kiss on the forehead, wishing them sweet dreams, allowing them as much room as possible in the bed and deciding she will sleep in what was her father’s bed. 

Once she is alone, rifling through her trunk to unpack everything in it, she finds herself longing for the warmth of Mina’s embrace. If she closes her eyes, she can pretend she’s standing in Mina’s chambers, waiting for her to exit the bathing chamber, waiting to diligently brush through Mina’s silken hair before they retire for the night. It is downright frigid now the sun has gone down, Dahyun shivering as she changes into her nightgown, sitting down on the edge of the bed and turning the hair clip Mina gave her over and over in her hands. It is obviously quite expensive, so many pearls and a very delicately painted, ornate design on it as well. Dahyun knows Mina’s intention with allowing her to keep it was to sell if she ever was in a pinch for money, but Dahyun knows she will never be able to bring herself to do that. It is one of the few things she has that Mina has touched, that was dear to her, and she would never be able to forgive herself if even in a moment of desperation she gave it away. She will cherish it as Mina did, and she will cherish what it meant for Mina to give it to her. 

It is hard to sleep at all, even once Dahyun is nestled under a wool blanket, she tosses and turns, still chilly, missing Mina, missing the palace. She wants to read Mina’s letter again for comfort, but there is not a scrap of light now with no candles, no fire lit, and the moon hidden behind clouds outside. So Dahyun settles for thinking about the words, whispering them under her breath, remembering how Mina said if Dahyun ever misses her Mina will always be thinking about her. Is Mina thinking of her now? Is she also tossing and turning, no longer accustomed to sleeping alone? Would she spend her nights unable to sleep, wondering about Dahyun? She can just picture Mina now, sitting at the edge of her bed, that worried look across her pretty face, wringing her hands the way she does when she’s fretting. 

Eventually Dahyun manages to drift off, because before she knows it she’s woken to her oldest sister shaking her shoulder and murmuring, “Dahyun, wake up.” 

“Hm?” She sits up a little, rubbing at her bleary eyes, feeling like she didn’t sleep at all. 

“It is morning,” Her sister sighs. “I already cut up fruit for breakfast.” 

“You did not have to do that,” Dahyun says, slipping out of bed and trailing her sister to the kitchen. 

“It is not hard, and besides, you do enough for us,” Her sister is so grown up, it makes Dahyun simultaneously proud and a bit sad at how she practically isn’t even a kid anymore. It’s startling to Dahyun as she comes into the kitchen to find all her siblings already dressed, even her brother, wearing worn overalls that have gone through every single one of them before reaching him, munching away at a piece of fruit while her youngest sister chats his ear off. Dahyun hadn’t realized how much the other siblings had stepped up in her absence, how they seem to not truly need her anymore. 

“We are behind on harvest,” Her middle sister confesses, looking downright petrified at the prospect. “It was too difficult for just the four of us to do, so we could not get it all done in time.” 

“Did they extend the deadline for your quota?” Dahyun asks, sighing heavily when all of the kids nod solemnly. Being behind on harvest means debt, more debt than they already have. Dahyun is positive her wages were being halved, part of it always going to their debts to the kingdom for them being constantly behind on their quotas and such, and now they’ll be in even more debt with no money coming in to pay it. “We will finish the harvest today, it will get done. Do not worry yourselves too much.” 

After their quick breakfast, they all traipse out to the field, Dahyun giving the two youngest the wide brimmed straw hats to protect their delicate faces from the sun. She sees the half picked field of crops, mentally fretting over how they’ll manage to get all of the remaining wheat picked and bundled as well as the other assorted things they grow, but she won’t show it on her face. She gives each of her siblings small tasks, like pushing the wheelbarrow behind her or carrying the shovel. She doesn’t want them doing all the hard labor anymore, they’ve done more than enough. 

“We can help,” Her oldest sister pipes up after over half an hour, Dahyun very obviously over exerting herself, not used to this sort of labor anymore. Her hair is sticking to her forehead, feeling dizzy in the sun as it reaches its peak, the hottest part of the day. It is the worst time of year, when the sun is scorching during the day and yet the nights are freezing, leaving them either too hot or too cold, no way to protect themselves from the weather. She is just thankful it is no longer storming as it was the night before - they could not have farmed at all if the winds were still that heavy.

“You are helping,” Dahyun pants softly, standing up and stretching her back a little, holding a cluster of wheat to bundle and place in the wheelbarrow. “You are holding the wheelbarrow and the shovel for me.” 

“But I mean we can help pick,” Her oldest sister shoots her a glare, leaving the wheelbarrow to their youngest sister, their middle sister simultaneously watching their brother and clutching the shovel. “Move over, let me.” 

“Do not go growing up on me too fast,” Dahyun teases, smiling proudly, touched at the way her sister so easily helps her. She can see so much of herself in her sister, especially in that little glare, and how she has become such a source of strength for the younger ones. Dahyun is not quite sure if that is a good or bad thing, but she likes to think she had some impact in raising her siblings and that them taking after her is a product of being a good caring figure to them. 

“I want a job!” Her brother whines, running down the line of crops to where the carrots are, trying desperately to yank one out to no avail.

“Come here,” Dahyun laughs, letting him bolt into her arms to be scooped up. “You can be the inspector, tell us if everything looks good, okay?” 

So he stays clung to her back, nodding at every crop they show him, clearly proud of what he considers a very important job. It’s a long, tiring day, Dahyun’s muscles aching by the time they trudge back to the cottage, thankfully having picked just enough to meet their quota at the end of the week. Exhaustion is truly setting in now, her lack of sleep the night before catching up to her, making her stumble a bit on her feet, worn farming boots unfamiliar now as she trips on the uneven dirt floor, just barely catching herself before tumbling to the ground.

“Are you tired?” She hears, not sure which sister is even asking, her vision quite blurred at this point. “Dahyun?” 

“I am alright,” She forces out, shaking her head a little. “But yes, I am tired.” 

“Take a nap.” Small hands take her by the wrist, tugging her down to her father’s old room, forcefully guiding her to the bed. “Do you need a cool cloth?” She now sees it’s her middle sister, fretting over her, making her stomach turn. She should be fretting over them. 

“No, no,” Dahyun sighs. “I just did not sleep well last night.”

“Rest then,” Her sister pecks her forehead like she has always done for them before sleeping. “We will wake you before dinner.” 

So however reluctantly, Dahyun lies back, eyes falling closed far too easily, feeling a blanket being pulled over her bottom half, her sister’s small hand brushing her hair away from her forehead and then her tiny footsteps retreating from the room, letting Dahyun sleep in peace. She sleeps deeply, curled tightly in a ball, hazy dreams running through her mind, pictures she can’t quite piece together. The shore, warm ocean waves lapping on her skin, the peaches in the palace garden, the sun beating down on her in the field, the cool water of the rushing river that wraps around the palace, the scent of the soap she used to wash the royal family’s clothing as a laundress, the feeling of parchment under her fingers, and Mina, Mina everywhere, her smile, her warm skin, the details of her face clear in Dahyun’s mind. 

When she rouses, still half asleep, in her daze she blindly reaches like Mina is lying beside her, frowning when her fingers find nothing but air and the wool of the blanket. Her eyes crack open, heart sinking as her dreams fade away and reality comes flooding back to her. She feels cooler now, and she guesses the sun must be setting, and she sighs deeply, figuring her siblings let her sleep too long and neglected dinnertime. As she sits up, yawning behind her hand, she is startled to realize she hears voices in the cottage, like her siblings are talking to someone and not just each other. She slips out of the bed, cautiously padding out of the room, figuring it may be a neighbor checking to see if Dahyun has returned yet or if they will be providing the children dinner again.

“Is that heavy on your head?” Dahyun hears her brother asking in his most curious voice, and she can only wonder what the question must be about, until she rounds the corner and sees Mina crouched down with the children gathered around her. A gasp leaves Dahyun’s lips, eyes blinking furiously to make sure she isn’t seeing things. Her brother’s hands are reaching towards the crown on Mina’s head, and she laughs softly, taking it off her head to place it delicately in his small hands, letting him feel the weight of it. “It is heavy!” He exclaims. 

“Mina?” Dahyun calls out in a hoarse voice still ridden with sleep, so baffled by the sight before her. She can’t connect that Mina is in her house, that Mina is meeting her siblings. 

Mina looks up, eyes lighting up and a bright smile breaking out on her face, standing up to rush over to Dahyun. “I missed you so,” She sighs, pulling Dahyun into her embrace, swaying slightly as she feels trembling hands clutch her back. 

“What are you...how did you…” Dahyun stammers out, unable to articulate one thing as so many questions race through her mind. “Why are you here?” 

Mina pulls back then, keeping her hands around Dahyun’s forearms so they can meet eyes, smiling so warmly. “I realized after spending a night without you I would not be able to do that ever again,” She laughs a little, almost nervously. “So as soon as it was a reasonable hour I was in a carriage on my way here.” 

“Mina, I…” Dahyun shakes her head in disbelief. “You know I cannot return to the palace, not when I have my family to look after.” 

“You underestimate me,” Mina’s eyes are glittering as she speaks, and Dahyun can only watch her, mesmerized as she always is with Mina. “I spent my sleepless night plotting a way, and I have found one. Nayeon has been writing me letters for months about how she has organized a boarding school of sorts in the South village, so children from other villages can come and learn to have better opportunities. Your siblings can attend school, have a bed to sleep in and three meals a day, and will be barely a carriage ride away.”

“We will be moving?” Dahyun’s youngest sister interjects. 

“I…” Dahyun is in total shock. She has never had things work out so well in her life, and it seems too good to be true. She can’t believe this is truly a possibility. “You are being entirely serious?” 

“Why would I lie to you?” Mina asks sincerely, and Dahyun knows then this is genuine, and she just feels so happy she could cry. 

And she does, forehead knocking against Mina’s as their noses brush, whispering over and over, “Thank you, thank you,” until her throat feels raw and Mina is telling her to hush herself before her voice goes. 

“Dahyun?” Her middle sister calls quietly, drawing her attention. “Are we truly leaving here?” 

Dahyun goes to her sister, then, taking her hands and squeezing tightly. “If you all are okay with that. It would be a better life, no more farming, no worrying about meals or being cold every night.” 

“Would we learn to write?” Her oldest sister asks. “Or to paint?” 

“You would learn a lot,” Mina says sweetly. “The school teaches all sorts of things.” 

“I think I would like to go,” Dahyun’s oldest sister decides, and all of her other siblings nod eagerly, looking so thrilled at the prospect of a life without labor, without constant focus on survival and nothing more.

“Then it is settled,” Mina smiles. “We have four little scholars on our hands.” It makes Dahyun chuckle, heart so full. It feels odd for these two parts of her life to conjoin so suddenly, and yet it feels right at the same time - her siblings are instantly taken with Mina, fascinated with her and a little starstruck too, in awe of her expensive looking gown and her poise. 

“You will stay here for the night?” Dahyun asks, reaching for Mina’s hand, desperate to hold on tight and not let go again. 

“If you are willing to have me,” Mina replies cheerfully, squeezing Dahyun’s hand back. 

Dahyun feels an odd sort of embarrassment at having Mina in her home this way; she knows Mina is entirely aware how some people in her kingdom live, how this is the life Dahyun came from, but knowing Mina is accustomed to the polished marble of the palace and is now in their grim little cottage with dirt floors and holes in the ceiling Dahyun cannot help but feel a small bit of shame. But, the prospect of a night with Mina outweighs any embarrassment, and so she smiles and nods, “Of course, I will always have you.”

“Are we having dinner soon?” Her brother asks abruptly after a few beats of silence, making everyone laugh, Dahyun nodding and leading everyone to the kitchen so she can start cooking. 

“Let me help, dear,” Mina steps behind Dahyun as she’s chopping vegetables, outstretching a hand to take a knife and help chop. 

“Do not cut yourself, your Highness,” Dahyun teases, knowing Mina has never cooked a thing in her life. She moves behind Mina to take her hands, guiding her. “Like this, slow and steady.” 

It is a tender moment, Dahyun’s chin on Mina’s shoulder as she helps the woman chop up carrots and potatoes, smiling at how easily she picks it up, hands winding around her waist to hold her. The children chatter behind them, excitedly talking about what the school they will attend may be like, wondering what the other children they will meet will act like. It really hits Dahyun all at once that she will be able to go back to the life she loves, she will be able to return to Mina’s side, to serve her again. She will have both, she can have her family and have Mina. It is beyond touching that Mina would spend her restless night coming up with some way for Dahyun to do so, that she must have pored over every letter Nayeon has sent her to find something of use, that she cares so deeply and missed Dahyun so much she is willing to finagle this. 

Dahyun finds herself smiling until her cheeks hurt during dinner, watching with fondness at how Mina interacts with her siblings, patiently letting them chat to her and enthusiastically nodding along, listening very intently and engaging with them so genuinely. Dahyun and Mina keep their hands interlocked throughout dinner, Mina’s thumb rubbing gently over Dahyun’s skin even when her focus isn’t on the girl, still showing her she’s happy to be with her again. 

“Are you happy to see your sister again?” Mina asks the kids, smiling at how they all instantly say yes, their love for Dahyun entirely evident. “I am sorry to have kept her from you!” 

“It is alright, your Majesty,” Dahyun’s oldest sister murmurs, looking a bit shy even speaking to Mina. “She deserves to be happy too.” Dahyun smiles tearfully, touched at the sentiment, Mina reaching a hand to rub her shoulder in a comforting gesture after seeing her well up a bit. “Besides, we can stay up late when she is not here to scold us!” Her sister goes on jokingly, making everyone chuckle at her attempt to lighten the mood. 

After dinner they all head to bed quickly, knowing they have a long journey to the South village the following day. “Mina,” Dahyun calls softly, catching the woman’s attention from her place gazing out the small window showing the fields that are their backyard. “You can go down to the bedroom on the left, if you do not mind sharing a bed.” 

Mina smiles, turning to head there, a passing, “You know I do not mind,” as she goes. She turns to the children all finished cleaning up the table, a warm, “Goodnight, sleep well,” for each of them. Dahyun’s brother runs up to Mina, standing on tiptoe and clearly expecting a kiss on the forehead like Dahyun gives him every night, and before Dahyun can tell him to knock it off Mina is kneeling to very gently peck his forehead, eyes crinkling at the corners as she beams. 

“Come on, kids, time for bed,” Dahyun waves them over to her, guiding them all to their room to help them prepare for the night, tucking them in one by one and making sure they are tucked in tight, checking to make sure they are warm enough. 

“The Queen likes you,” Her youngest sister muses suddenly, drawing Dahyun’s attention before she can extinguish the candle and let the room fall into darkness. 

Dahyun goes to kneel by the edge of the bed where her sister lies, resting her chin in her hand with a bemused smile. “You think so?” She asks, wondering what her sister means by the comment. Of course Mina likes her, she wouldn’t have chosen Dahyun as her handmaiden if she didn’t, and she certainly wouldn’t have travelled all this way just to see her and get her back to the palace. 

“You two are like Mama and Papa were before Mama died,” Her sister mumbles through a yawn, and the comment really takes Dahyun aback. She is entirely shocked that her sister even really remembers their mother, given she was around three when she passed, and Dahyun wasn’t aware she remembered that much. She had never talked about it, not the way the two older girls did, obviously remembering their mother very well and missing her frequently. What shocks Dahyun most, though, is the comparison of herself and Mina to her parents. 

Before her mother fell ill, her parents had been quite happy together. It was obvious they were in love, and they did often cook dinner together as Mina and Dahyun had done tonight, and they easily showed one another affection when they thought the children weren’t looking. Dahyun had seen those fleeting moments, though by the time she was old enough to really understand they were romantic gestures her mother became ill and quickly died, and they never spoke of it again. She had focused so much on her upbringing from age ten to now that she had in a way forgotten things were ever happy in her household, and she certainly didn’t think she and Mina in any way mirrored a married couple with children. 

“I did not know you remembered mother at all,” Dahyun says finally, choosing to ignore the part of the statement that makes her heart race a little faster. 

“Only a bit,” Her sister sighs, turning on her side to face Dahyun. “But I remember that. She made him very happy, like the Queen makes you happy.”

Dahyun ponders on that for a moment, half laughing and shrugging. “I suppose you are right,” She concedes, giving her sister her goodnight forehead kiss. “You should get to sleep, kid.” 

She rises to leave, blowing the candle out before shuffling out of the room and across the small hallway to her own bed, seeing Mina waiting patiently for her, already changed in her nightgown and leaning back against the small pillow, smiling when she sees Dahyun. “They love you so much,” Mina remarks affectionately. 

Dahyun smiles bashfully. “They are quite taken with you as well. They think you are fascinating.” 

Mina laughs a little. “They are wonderful, you clearly raised them well.” Dahyun comes and sits with her on the bed, Mina resting her head on Dahyun’s shoulder. “I do not have any siblings, so I am quite intrigued by seeing your dynamic with them.” 

“It is nice, to have so many people who love you,” Dahyun whispers softly. “But it is also hard, to have so many mouths to feed, and to worry for them constantly.”

“If I were to have children I think I would have at least two,” Mina muses quietly, clearly deep in thought. 

“Do you want children?” Dahyun always assumed Mina would never want children, given how much she despises the thought of a husband. How would she have children without one? 

“I am not sure yet,” Mina sighs. “I did not think so, but…” She leans back to look at Dahyun, a tentative smile playing on her lips. “Seeing you with the children made me reconsider a bit.” Dahyun chuckles a little, amused at the idea that something about seeing her with all of her siblings clinging to her made Mina long for motherhood. It is a confusing thought, Dahyun wondering how she made any difference, but she feels touched nonetheless. “If I could have children without having to have a husband, that would be ideal.” 

“I am not quite sure how that would work,” Dahyun giggles, earning her a playful shove to the arm. “You truly do not want to ever marry?” 

Mina’s face turns solemn, suddenly, at the question. Usually when people ask her that, it’s in a condescending sort of way, a way where they are acting as if they know what’s best for Mina more than Mina herself does. But Dahyun holds nothing but curiosity in her voice, and Mina senses that, which is why she genuinely contemplates how to answer rather than simply give an icy quip back as she would for anyone else. 

“It is not the idea of marriage I dislike, so much as marriage to a man,” Mina says finally. “I spent my whole life being prepared for what marriage with a man would be like, being told how to be a wife, and I know the minute I wed I would be losing any control over my kingdom that I have. I do not want to lose control. I do not want marriage to be a trivial thing for nothing but the sake of business, or power. I want it to be like the love you read about in poems.” 

Dahyun nods, listening intently. She loves to hear Mina’s thoughts, her opinions, and she loves to know how strong Mina can be, how well she holds her own even when everyone else desires for her to give away her power she holds it so well. Dahyun has read many love poems, even read them aloud to Mina on sleepless nights for the both of them, and she knows exactly what sort of love Mina craves, a tender love, one that is warm and passionate and beyond explanation in simple words. 

“Love should be everything,” Mina goes on, a hand absentmindedly, reaching to card through Dahyun’s hair. “I do not think love with a man could be delicate.” 

“No, I do not think so,” Dahyun agrees quietly, watching Mina’s eyes, how they flit around nervously. She’s holding something back, Dahyun can tell, and it makes her breath catch, and despite herself she cannot help asking, “Is there something you are not saying?” 

Mina takes a shallow breath, a nervous one, and then, “I am only thinking of how much I missed you, and that I am happy to see you again.” 

It seems like an answer that isn’t entirely truthful, or only part of what she’s truly thinking about. but Dahyun doesn’t push too hard. She knows Mina can be very private about her thoughts. “I missed you as well,” She shifts closer, so they are both lying on their sides, cheeks pressed against the same pillow and faces close, eyes meeting as their noses brush every so slightly. “I dreamed of you today.” 

Mina smiles, a sight that will always set Dahyun at ease, that will make her feel like she’s home no matter where she is. “I think if I had slept I would have dreamed of you as well.” Mina reaches to brush a loose tendril of hair behind Dahyun’s ear, though her hand only pulls back far enough to caress her cheek, not leaving her skin quite yet. Every touch is tender, like Dahyun is delicate, the way things like fine china or jewels are handled. To be handled with such care is a privilege, Dahyun thinks, especially by Mina. She is hard to impress, and yet she finds Dahyun enchanting, endeared to every bit of her. It’s a wonderful feeling. “I have come to realize I cannot live without you,” Mina whispers, a quivering tone to her voice. “I never want to lose you again.” 

“You will not lose me,” Dahyun promises. “I am yours, I always will be.” 

She watches Mina’s eyes, flicking all around her face like she’s searching for something, always finding their way back to her lips, and Dahyun feels her heart slamming in her chest, trembling hands reaching up to grasp Mina’s arm to steady herself. The tension is palpable, warmth in the air, both hesitating and unsure, not knowing truly what this is leading up to, until Mina surges forward and captures Dahyun’s lips with her own, heart winning out over head. Dahyun doesn’t hesitate a second more, hand moving to tangle in Mina’s hair, pulling her closer, kissing with everything in her. She’s never kissed someone in this way, she had never even thought of it, but it’s magical, dizzy in the best way, Mina’s hand steady on her cheek, lips burning against hers, forehead pressed against her own. 

“I belong to you, and only you,” Mina whispers against Dahyun’s mouth, trembling on every syllable. Dahyun smiles, a breathless and nervous laugh passing her lips, Mina’s thumb gently brushing over her kiss swollen lips. “Have I scared you off?” 

“You never could,” Dahyun murmurs, seeing the fear on Mina’s face, the fear of losing Dahyun, of driving her away by being so vulnerable and bare this way, of being entirely honest. But Dahyun couldn’t love her more, pulling her in again by her chin, showing her with another kiss that she feels just as deeply attached as Mina does.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> @bbygirldahyun on tumblr and @bbygiridahyun on twitter<3


	10. Chapter Ten

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so i wasn't actually planning on this as the next chapter, or a chapter at all really, but an anon on tumblr sent me an ask about how mina dealt with missing dahyun and it inspired me to write somewhat of a 'bonus chapter'. so thank you to that anon!! <3
> 
> as always, thank you for reading and i hope you enjoy!

Sleep is often elusive for Mina. Her mind never quiets, all of the worries and weights of the present making it significantly more difficult to doze off with ease than many other people. Even as Dahyun slumbers on beside her, she cannot allow her mind to rest, thinking only of the fact that in a mere few hours she will be forced to say goodbye to the one person in the world she has come to trust with everything. She will have to share one last hug, perhaps a chaste kiss to the cheek if she can muster the courage, and watch Dahyun leave her arms. How will she manage that? 

Restless, she slips out of bed, desperate to do anything other than alternate between staring at the ceiling and resisting the urge to stroke Dahyun’s cheek as she sleeps on, exhaustion evident even as she dozes in every bit of her. Mina ties her hair back with a silk ribbon, wanting it away from her face, sliding slippers on and sneaking out of her chamber. The only light in the corridors of the palace at this hour are the occasional candle here and there, casting shadows along the walls, Mina taking a deep breath as she hurries to her study, wanting to clear her mind. The night guards shoot her odd looks as she scurries past, but they don’t question her - those who have been working in the palace for years are used to her late night antics, and the new ones simply follow the leader. 

She lights a candle in her study, illuminating the space and glancing out the window to the peaceful grounds, moonlight making them visible. Her study, once her father’s, has always been a calm place for her despite the work she does in it. She feels in control, here, like she can fix any problem laid before her. She remembers sitting perched on a stool beside her father as a child, watching over his shoulder as he did important business. Mina thinks of those times fondly, the days before she was totally aware of the burdens of being Queen. Trade and reforming the system, she can handle; she certainly never dreamed her biggest burden would be her heart, heavy with love and guilt, fretting every moment she looks at Dahyun and feels a flutter, unspoken words on her tongue every second. 

Who could help being taken with the girl? She’s like the angels in the paintings her father would take her to see at the nobles art shows when she was a young child; Mina could picture Dahyun so easily with a halo, all of that love and kindness she shows to everything she sees, even the flowers in the gardens when they walk would make her suit being an angel. 

Mina reaches for her quill, then, pulling a fresh piece of parchment and opening a pot of ink, sitting at her desk and trying to gather her thoughts. If she tries to tell Dahyun everything inside of her heart, the words will get caught in her throat, and they’ll never come out. She has to write it now, in this vulnerable and perhaps overzealous moment, the words fresh in her mind. She needs Dahyun to know how important she has become to Mina, how she’s changed her, and by extension the kingdom, forever. 

Dearest Dahyun

She writes the two words, staring at them, already feeling tears welling up at the thought of having to write this letter. She never could’ve imagined Dahyun would leave this way - Mina had imagined all sorts of scenarios where Dahyun would not want to be her handmaiden anymore, they plague her often, but this is somehow worse. They don’t want to be apart, Dahyun does not want to leave in the slightest, but she has to. She has always been as honest as she can with Dahyun, without losing her dignity, and so she allows herself to be honest. 

This is a hard letter to write. I will admit, it is devastating to have you gone, but I understand your dedication to your family and I truly admire that. You are endlessly selfless, and that is not something that is lost on me - I will simply miss you something awful.

A tear begins to fall, but Mina swipes it away. She leans back in her seat, wringing her hands anxiously as she ponders what to write next. She knows she can’t make this too long, or she’ll spill everything. She wants to say just enough to give Dahyun some peace of mind, something to hold on to. 

I hope that your journey home is safe and that you will be as happy as you can be when you reach there. I want to thank you for all you have done for not only me but the entire kingdom. You are one of a kind, Dahyun. 

Mina lets out a long breath, fiddling with the quill, thinking fondly of how many days she and Dahyun have spent in the library, reading and writing. She had been so determined to learn, and Mina admires that passion, that fire in her eyes as she would press on, read another chapter, write another paragraph. She has never seen someone so dedicated to everything she does, even from the first moment Mina saw her she knew - her eyes had instantly been drawn to the rawness of Dahyun’s hands, a symbol of how hard she worked as a laundress, a job Mina knows most would not do, especially if they didn’t have to. It’s grueling work, long and tiresome and doesn’t pay much, not nearly what the other maids make, nowhere close to what Dahyun makes now as a handmaiden. But she did it, and did her best every single day, and Mina has always found pride and love in her heart for Dahyun’s dedication.

She knows that dedication and drive all stems from her love for her family, she hears how Dahyun talks about her siblings, these children who must see her more as a mother than as a sister Mina is sure. She can’t imagine being away from someone she loves that much, she knows it must take a toll on Dahyun she doesn’t speak of, and she must be excited to go home. Mina hopes Dahyun can find it in her to miss her, as she will surely spend every waking moment missing Dahyun. 

Please, do not worry over me. Take care of yourself, and if you are ever to miss me just know whenever you do I will always be thinking of you. 

Mina knows she can’t write much more without absolutely embarrassing herself, so she tries to ponder how to sign the letter. When she writes Nayeon, or her parents, people she considers family she always signs with ‘Love’, but she feels that might be too forward. More formal things, like when she sent her letters to call Jeongyeon and Jihyo to be council members, she simply signed with ‘Best’. 

Her quill poised over the parchment, she mentally debates. Of course, she loves Dahyun. She loves Dahyun more than anyone, and she thinks the girl knows that, how could she not? Every word, every touch, every glance Mina knows is halfway away from giving away the true depth of her feelings, but she can’t help herself. She finds it honestly a bit endearing how innocent and downright oblivious Dahyun is, but writing the word love might be enough to even tip Dahyun off in all her naivety. Before she can talk herself out of it again, Mina places her quill to the paper and writes. 

Love,  
Mina

She hurriedly rolls the parchment, not wanting to look at her words and second guess them a moment longer, realizing she has no wax to seal it with, huffing a little under she remembers the silk ribbon in her hair. Quickly she loops her finger through the bow and undoes it, very meticulously tying it, the pale, pearl colored silk soft under her fingertips. She thinks that if Dahyun had to, she could sell it, along with the hair clip. Mina never wants her to suffer, the thought of her ever struggling for food makes her stomach turn, and even though Mina has never met Dahyun’s siblings she cares for them too, these children who mean everything to Dahyun, who means everything to Mina. She doesn’t want them going hungry either. 

She glances to the window, mentally groaning when she sees the sun just barely starting to peek over the horizon, knowing she should return to the chamber before Dahyun rouses. Mina clutches the roll of parchment in her hand as she hurries back to her chamber, shutting the door as quietly as possible, smiling as she sees Dahyun is still resting soundly, looking so relaxed. Mina kneels beside the bed, face close to Dahyun’s now, watching her take even breaths, her lips slightly parted, hair splayed out on the pillow. 

“I will miss you more than I can say,” Mina murmurs, throat constricting as she speaks. “I will always think of you.” She tips her head down, crying against the sheets, shaking her head. 

Before she wakes Dahyun up with her weeping, Mina steps away from the bed, swiping the tears from her cheeks and trying to find something to busy herself with, pulling a trunk out to pack for Dahyun so she doesn’t have to worry about it when she rises. Mina flicks through her own clothes, pulling casual clothing she no longer wears from her days before being crowned, smiling at the thought of Dahyun wearing them. She hopes Dahyun will cherish them, and think of her as she wears them. She’s thankful that Dahyun’s favorite book from the library is already in the chamber, Mina turning it over in her hands before placing it alongside Dahyun’s other belongings in the trunk. 

She’s just clicking the latches on the trunk when Dahyun begins to stir, making soft noises and reaching to the other side of the bed, clearly searching for Mina, making her heart ache and her lips turn up in a sad smile. “Good morning,” She murmurs, drawing Dahyun’s attention, seeing how drowsy she still is. 

“How long have you been up?” Dahyun asks groggily, swinging her legs over the edge of the bed and rubbing at her bleary eyes. 

Mina smiles apologetically, feeling bad she left Dahyun to wake alone, and did not hold her all night. But she knows if she had stayed beside Dahyun all night long, unable to settle her mind, she would have done something rash, something she would regret later. “I wanted to make this morning as easy as possible for you,” She explains almost sheepishly.

“Thank you,” Dahyun whispers in a tearful tone, sniffling softly as a tear tracks down her cheek, shuffling across the room to pull Mina into a tight hug. “Thank you for everything, Mina. I cannot say it enough.” 

“Do not cry, dear,” Mina picks her chip up, swiping the tears away. “You deserve only the best.”

They dress silently, not quite knowing what to say, Dahyun obediently putting on the dress Mina laid out for her, leaving her hair down and flowing over her shoulders. Mina smiles at her, how effortlessly beautiful she is, how radiant she is in nothing but a simple dress and stockings. Mina doesn’t feel much enticed by any of the gowns in her wardrobe, truly wishing she did not have to face a soul today, but she must look presentable; no matter what she’s feeling, palace going ons will continue, and she will have to carry out the sentencing for Dahyun’s father today. 

“Will you wear this one?” Dahyun asks suddenly, gesturing to a gown that’s a deep, wine red, a plunging neckline and dangling sleeves. “This color is beautiful on you.” 

“I trust your eye,” Mina says with a half smile. “Will you help me?” The words ‘one last time’ linger in her mouth, not wanting to speak them.

Dahyun helps her slip her corset on, lacing it more slowly than normal, and Mina watches her eyes roam, like for the first time she wants to look at Mina, knowing she’ll never get another chance. It makes Mina blush, cheeks heating, swallowing thickly as Dahyun instructs her to turn around so they can slip the dress on and adjust it properly. 

Mina finds herself clutching the fabric of the dress in her hands as she stands just outside the doorway of the palace, watching through watery eyes as Dahyun walks to the carriage that will take her home. Mina bites the inside of her cheek, not wanting to let the tears fall, not when everyone can see. She hates to be vulnerable like this, especially when palace employees could see. But then Dahyun is turning around and darting back to her for one last hug, and the dam breaks, tears streaming down Mina’s cheeks as she holds Dahyun close, stroking her hair as they embrace. 

“Do not cry,” Dahyun echoes Mina’s words from this morning. “I will always be here,” She places a hand over Mina’s chest, where her heart is. “No matter how far away I am.” 

“You always know what to say,” Mina whispers, thinking of all the times Dahyun has said the perfect thing to assure her, from her meeting the Duke to when they were attacked to out on the beach, when everything felt right. She’ll miss Dahyun’s perfect, poetic words so much. 

Watching the carriage roll away, Dahyun’s cherub face peeking out from the lace curtains of the small window, waving until she’s out of sight, Mina feels hollowed out inside. She was never the type to let people in, to allow people close to her, keeping even Nayeon at arms length in some ways. But Dahyun was different - she didn’t knock down Mina’s walls, she melted them away, making Mina almost forget her stoic, icy nature from before. She couldn’t go back to that, not when she knows what it’s like to be warm, to love and be loved in return. 

She reluctantly turns to go back inside the palace, the clouds growing dark gray, an impending storm certainly. Mina thinks that’s fitting - gloomy weather for an abysmal day. Just as she’s entered the palace doors, barely out of the foyer, she hears footsteps behind her rushing towards her, Jihyo’s familiar voice calling, “Your Highness!” in a teasing, affectionate tone. 

“That gown looks lovely on you,” Jeongyeon says, bumping her arm against Mina’s as she falls into step on one side of her, Jihyo on the other. 

“Thank you,” Mina smiles tensely, still feeling her emotions just under the surface, unsure how long she’ll manage to stay poised. “Dahyun picked it out.” 

“Where is your girl?” Jihyo asks, making Mina almost laugh at her wording; she hasn’t said a word of her feelings to them, and yet somehow they know anyway. She supposes subtlety has never been her strong suit.

“She…” Mina lets a hand flutter up to her neck, feeling as if all the air has been sucked out of her, her words caught in her throat. “She left this morning.” 

“She left?” Jeongyeon looks downright shocked, shaking her head a little. “Where did she go?” 

“She has young siblings back home, she is all they have left,” Mina explains through shaky, shallow breaths. “I admire her heart.” 

“Oh Mina, I am so sorry,” Jihyo reaches and takes her hand, squeezing. “I know how much she means to you.” 

“We have nearly an hour before we must really begin the day, shall we retire to the parlor and have tea?” Jeongyeon suggests. “If you are feeling up to it.” 

“That would be nice,” Mina nods, hands clasping together now. “I do not think I should allow myself to wallow in my feelings.” 

So they go to the parlor, rain drizzling down outside, leaving the room a bit shadowy. An unfamiliar maid serves the tea, Mina making sure to thank her thoroughly, feeling bad she does not know her name - she tries to keep up with all of the palace employees, but some of the newer girls’ names have escaped her since things have become so crazy in the palace lately. Once the maid has exited the parlor, Mina can relax somewhat, settling back in her seat with her delicate china tea cup in hand, sipping a bit and letting the warmth of the tea settle her nerves. 

“Will she write?” Jeongyeon asks suddenly. 

“I am not sure,” Mina says quietly, eyes still fixed outside, watching the rain pour down, spotting the peach trees and feeling a pang in her heart, remembering how she had given Dahyun her first peach. She often wonders what Dahyun’s home is like, how different it must be from here. “I do not know if she would waste money on parchment and ink when they need to eat, to make clothes.” 

“Mina, may I be candid with you, as a friend and not a council member?” Jihyo murmurs, and Mina directs her attention to the two women on the loveseat across from her. She can’t help but smile seeing their hands intertwined, clearly able to see their evident closeness. 

“Of course,” Mina agrees. “I always appreciate candor from those I respect.” 

“I cannot remember the last time I saw you as happy as you are when she is around,” Jihyo says knowingly, Jeongyeon nodding in agreement. “I do not know the nature of your relationship and I assure you, I am not asking to know more than you would like to divulge, but I urge you to find anyway possible to keep her close to you. She is a positive influence everywhere, but especially on you.” 

Mina feels a tear going down her cheek, setting her tea cup down to wipe it away, trembling hands falling back to her lap. “I love her,” She admits in a hushed voice, embarrassed, but she knows they will understand the depth of it, the way she feels and how it’s something she has tried to shove away, to talk herself out of. 

“Mina,” Jeongyeon sighs, sadness deep in every part of her face. “Do you regret taking the crown, knowing what is expected of you?” 

A heavy question, one Mina ponders often. She is expected to marry a man, hell she was expected to have to marry a man to ever have power at all; her rule is already unprecedented, her father trusting her so much to run things alone. Maybe she can manage the first few years, five if she’s lucky, without a husband, but once she’s growing older she will be expected to produce an heir, and that requires a husband. She would have to shelve her feelings for Dahyun, her inability to love a man unimportant in the name of carrying the royal bloodline. 

“I always thought I would be willing to make sacrifices for the crown,” She whispers tearfully. “I thought, at one time, I would be able to stomach being with a man.” She shakes her head, then. “But now I know what it is like to really love someone, to love her...I do not think I can do it.” 

It’s an admission she never wanted to make, never even wanted to think let alone say out loud, but she knows Jeongyeon and Jihyo have always been honest with her, have shared their private affections for one another with her, so she will do the same. 

“Well you have a long time before you have to worry about marriage,” Jihyo says sympathetically. Though it is not the same, Mina knows Jihyo’s family expects her to marry a nobleman, which will never be the case. While Jihyo has a choice, she will still disappoint her family, and that is never an easy thing to stomach. 

“You are right,” Mina sighs. “I suppose it may be easier, now that she is away.” 

Before anyone can say more, their attention is drawn collectively to the doorway, Sunmi peeking her head in and saying a pleasant, “Your Majesty?” Her face falls when she sees the tear streaks down Mina’s cheeks. “My goodness, what happened?” 

“Nothing, nothing,” Mina waves it off. “Should we be beginning the procedures for the sentencing?” 

“Yes, your Grace,” Sunmi nods, face still solemn, waving Jeongyeon and Jihyo out of the parlor but grabbing Mina’s arm to stop her. “You know you may always confide in me, yes?” 

“Thank you, Sunmi,” Mina whispers, incredibly grateful for the sincerity in Sunmi’s tone. 

“You are not just my Monarch but someone I consider family,” Sunmi tells her with a squeeze to her shoulder. “Whatever it is, I will listen without judgement.” 

“Perhaps another time,” Mina sighs, smiling softly. “We should hasten to the sentencing, so as not to put it off longer than we must.” 

Mina had honestly somewhat forgotten exactly who she was sentencing in all her sorrow over Dahyun leaving, until she steps into the courtroom and feels the blanket of heaviness, like a punch to the gut when she remembers it will be Dahyun’s father she will have to face, still in a way unsure of her decision, but knowing her bleeding heart will certainly affect it. So much sadness already today, she isn’t sure she could be responsible for making anymore of it. To everyone else, such a crime seems straightforward in its punishment. In the past, any sort of treason has been given nothing short of death as the sentence, but Mina is not entirely sure she can have that burden resting on her shoulders, especially knowing this is a man who at least at one time Dahyun loved and looked at as family.

She watches from her seat behind the raised desk as he is brought in, no sign of struggle, the guard still gripping his chains tightly just in case. Mina pales, thinking of Dahyun, her forgiving soul, her nature of endless kindness. How would she handle this? Sometimes Mina thinks someone like Dahyun might be better suited to be Queen, she is so giving, so loving, so trusting. She would be so beloved as a Monarch. So Mina allows herself to mull that thought over - what would Dahyun do? 

Instantly, Mina knows no matter who it was, or what they did, Dahyun would find something in her heart to give them a chance, to show them they aren’t just a cog in this machine but a valued member of their kingdom. So, Mina takes a deep breath, beginning in as even of a voice as she can, “The sentencing has been decided,” She watches the crowd, all seemingly holding their breath, eyes then falling square on Dahyun’s father. “Your sentence will be paid work, in the newly developing farm surrounding the kingdoms.” Hushed whispers fall over the room, even some sound angry, but Mina couldn’t care less. “The money you earn will be sent to your family. You will be provided with adequate food and housing, though you will be heavily guarded.” 

“You cannot be serious,” He blurts out, eyes full of confusion. “That is…” He shakes his head. “My goodness.” 

“You will be taken to your new accommodations immediately,” Mina nods curtly. “Now, if there is nothing else anyone would like to discuss, this sentencing is adjourned-” 

“Wait, your Highness!” Dahyun’s father calls suddenly, Mina stopping her words, leveling gazes with him. “Perhaps it is out of turn to ask, but I must know: how is Dahyun?” 

Mina feels the tears welling back up, her throat squeezing in agony, stomach turning. “She is home, with her family,” She murmurs, knowing she cannot cry while everyone is watching her. “She will be alright.” 

“Thank you, your Majesty,” Dahyun’s father says in a somber tone, turning to allow himself to be led from the room by the guards. 

As everyone is slowly filtering from the room, Sunmi approaches Mina with a knowing look all over her face. “So that is why you have been so solemn all day.” 

“Yes,” Mina nods, biting down on her lip to keep the tears back. “But what is best for her is best for me.” 

“I do not believe that for a second,” Sunmi says pointedly. “You are entirely smitten with that girl, I cannot believe you have not gone chasing down that carriage yet.” 

“She needs to be with her family,” Mina counters. “What is done is done, I will allow myself this day to be hysterical and then I will move on as I must.” 

“Mina,” Sunmi sighs, exasperated. “You will never move on, I know you too well to believe that either! You may seem stoic but I know you feel deeper than anyone, especially for her. She melts your icy heart.” 

“Do not be rude!” Mina laughs, finally, swatting at Sunmi’s arm. Sunmi has been like a big sister to her, always taking Mina under her wing, helping her feel as normal as she can when she’s still ruling a kingdom. “I cannot keep her from her family with my frivolous feelings. She needs to be with them now, I can survive without her.” 

“Surviving and truly living are two different things, my Queen,” Sunmi tells her, turning to go, having to write the official document for the sentencing. 

Sunmi’s words linger in Mina’s mind for the rest of the day, even as she goes about her mundane duties, sitting in her study with a book open in front of her but not focusing on the page, instead pondering everything that’s happened, everything said. She knows perhaps it isn’t the smartest thing to be so candid about her feelings for Dahyun, but she trusts Jeongyeon, Jihyo, and Sunmi with her life, she knows they would never betray her in such a manner. Eventually she rises, going to stand at the window and peering in the direction she would take to get to Dahyun’s village. 

What must she be doing now? Certainly she should be home with her family already, siblings probably overjoyed to see her again. Mina hopes they will have a good meal, a warm fire going, perhaps even Dahyun could read to the children if she was up to it. She hopes for nothing more than Dahyun’s happiness, always, but she cannot ignore the nagging words Sunmi planted in her brain. Surviving and living - who thought there was a difference? But she knows exactly what Sunmi means; surviving is the bare minimum, living is everything, all of the passions and pleasures of life, the richness of romance and love and joy. She had always resigned herself to be deprived of that. thinking sometimes she was incapable of loving at all, until she realized it was only women who caught her eye, who made her heart flutter. 

And still, she never would have thought she’d be so taken with Dahyun so easily. She had honestly dreaded picking a handmaiden altogether, the thought of sharing a space with someone, of allowing them to see her bare and vulnerable in more than one way, had made her sick. But Dahyun is different, she had been since Mina first laid eyes on her at her coronation. Her clumsiness and nerves endearing, her honest hard work admirable. Mina was in love from the start. 

Her thoughts are turbulent even into the night, despite her lack of sleep the previous one she is unable to rest again, halfway delirious in her exhaustion and anxiety. Too many times she’s halfway to the door of Dahyun’s older chamber before she remembers the girl isn’t there, and she just feels empty, ripped apart with missing her. She cannot do this day in and day out, she cannot continue to go with sleepless nights and crying over tea and barely able to keep it together for her duties. She will never be able to return to any semblance of normal when her heart is crying out for Dahyun every second.

Mina feels compelled suddenly, racking her brain for any option, rushing again through the corridors and to her study. She’ll spend all night if she has to poring over documents and letters and brainstorming, she just needs to find a way to get Dahyun back to the palace or she’ll go absolutely mad. 

She ends up rifling through her tin of letters from Nayeon, reading every line for something that can help her. So much of it is concerning her feelings for Dahyun, Nayeon being the first person Mina told about her developing romantic interest in the girl. She almost cringes at how many times Nayeon has written something to the effect of ‘My god, just kiss her already.’ Finally, as the candle is flickering and almost burnt out on her desk, she finds something of value. 

Mina, 

I hope this letter finds you in good spirits! I am sorry I have not written in awhile, I have been so busy with helping the town develop this boarding school - but I am proud of what we have done! It is not much, but it is a step in allowing other villages opportunities for education. 

Tell Dahyun I said hello, and for God’s sake tell her you will not stop pestering me about how to court her! Take care, Mina. 

Love,   
Nayeon

It’s perfect, Mina can’t believe she hadn’t thought of it before; Dahyun’s siblings can attend school in the South village, a mere carriage ride away, and they will have beds to sleep in and food to eat. Dahyun will never have to worry about them going hungry again, and she can resume her position at the palace. Any money worries are instantly written off in Mina’s mind - what Dahyun makes as handmaiden in addition to her father earning wages serving his sentencing farming should be more than enough, and if they are ever short Mina would cover it without hesitation. Mina feels desperation to tell Dahyun her plan, first scrambling to get parchment to compose a letter and then hesitating - a letter will take too long, a week at the swiftest. No, she cannot wait a day more. She will have to go to Dahyun herself, surprise her. 

The thought makes Mina giddy, crying again from relief and joy, whispering a quiet thank you to Nayeon for telling her about the boarding school project. It feels like heaven, the thought of Dahyun back in her arms, close to her again. She’ll have to be on the earliest carriage to Dahyun’s village, and she cannot stand to wait, but she will. By this time tomorrow, she will be reunited with Dahyun, and all will be right in the world. All will be just as it was.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> @bbygirldahyun on tumblr and @bbygiridahyun on twitter


	11. Chapter Eleven

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you all so much for your patience with this chapter! i truly hope it isn't a let down, i'm nervous because this one's a bit of a doozy...
> 
> also please be forgiving if there's any typos etc i missed in my proofreads im writing on a new computer

Dahyun rouses to the feeling of a weight on her, a soft noise of confusion passing her lips as she tries to rouse herself, wondering what the feeling is. “Good morning,” She hears Mina’s voice in a soft laugh, but it doesn’t sound like it’s directed at her. Hand grasp her shoulders then, shaking her gently. “Be nice to your sister, she is just waking up,” Mina says then, Dahyun’s eyes finally fluttering open to see her brother sitting atop her, a bright grin on his cherub face as he sees her awake.

“You were taking too long to get up,” He whines, making Dahyun chuckle. “We want to go to the school now.” 

“Patience is a virtue you should learn, kid,” Dahyun teases, sitting up to pat his head. 

She glances to Mina then, the events of the previous night flooding back to her. She almost cannot believe that was real, watching how Mina acts as if nothing has changed - but Dahyun can see the slight redness to Mina’s lips, fingers drifting to her own and wondering if they look the same. That is enough to keep her from convincing herself the kiss wasn’t merely a dream, it really did happen. Will they even discuss it? Dahyun isn’t sure, as she picks her brother up and places him on the ground, telling him to go wait with the girls while she and Mina get ready quickly.

“Did you sleep well, darling?” Mina asks, warmth all through her voice, flicking through the clothing Dahyun brought home with her seemingly choosing an outfit for Dahyun. 

“I slept well, but I always do when you are with me,” Dahyun murmurs, watching Mina, trying to understand why she isn’t saying anything about the night before. Does she regret it? Perhaps that’s it, she regrets it and she would rather spare Dahyun the embarrassment of saying it, so she’s opting to ignore it even happened. 

“You should wear this,” Mina holds out a dress of beautiful crushed velvet, a deep blood red color. Dahyun cannot even believe Mina would part with it, let alone allow her to have it, it’s so stunning. There’s something else Mina isn’t saying, hidden behind her eyes as she fights to keep her face passive. Dahyun knows her too well. 

“Should I not wear my maid’s outfit?” Dahyun asks in a tense tone, almost stiff when Mina comes to stroke her cheek gently. 

“Not today,” Mina sighs, warm hand still caressing Dahyun’s cheek as it grows rosier. “You will have plenty of days stuck in that thing, wear something nice.” 

It’s intimate, almost, as Mina helps Dahyun into the dress and ties the silk ribbon on the waist for her, breath brushing the sensitive nape of Dahyun’s neck as she goes, making goosebumps prick on Dahyun’s skin. “Are you alright?” She whispers, hands resting warm and firm on Dahyun’s shoulders. “You seem tense.”

“No, your Highness,” Dahyun says plainly, turning to face Mina, waiting to help lace her corset up. 

“Why so formal all of the sudden?” Mina laughs, pulling her nightgown over her head, leaving her bare, Dahyun’s eyes falling to the floor. She places her corset around herself, guiding Dahyun’s hands to where she should be tying it up. “Are you having second thoughts?” Mina asks in a hushed tone, hands still on Dahyun’s as her fingers work to lace the thing, almost automatic now after having done it so many times.

Dahyun’s head shoots up, shocked at Mina’s however vague allusion to their actions of the night before. “Second thoughts?” Dahyun feels her mouth has gone dry. Mina looks worried, though a nervous smile still plays on her lips, Dahyun’s eyes drifting to the bust of Mina’s corset without her permission, swallowing hard as she tries to gather her thoughts enough to respond. “Of course not,” She finally manages, voice wavering. Mina grasps her chin then, tugging her firmly up, eyes dark until they slip closed as their lips meet again. Dahyun’s hand unintentionally comes to rest on the firm fabric of the corset over Mina’s chest, Mina laughing a muffled giggle against her lips before picking her hand up and moving it higher, to rest on her shoulder instead.

“I feel dizzy,” Dahyun whispers, tucking her face into Mina’s neck in embarrassment at the forwardness of her touch. 

“I hope that is a good thing,” Mina says with a chuckle. “We should not take too much longer, the children are waiting on us.”

Dahyun nods, shaking her head a little to clear it, helping Mina slip her gown on and brushing the skirt out to make sure it’s flowing smoothly. She hurriedly packs her trunk back up, Mina’s own already in her grasp, a smile passing between them as they try to act like nothing happened, Mina trailing Dahyun out to the front of the cottage where all of the children are waiting with their few belongings all in one sack in Dahyun’s oldest sister’s grasp.

“Are you all ready to depart?” She asks, seeing the eagerness in their faces, the hopefulness, like for the first time in their young lives they have hope for something more, something better. They all nod excitedly, practically tripping over themselves as they all head outside, Dahyun securing the door to the cottage behind her. She takes one last look at it, heart not nearly as heavy as the first time she left, smiling even when she feels Mina taking her hand, tugging her along.

“The carriage is waiting for us at the gates to the village,” Mina says as they walk, the morning air still brisk, chilly against their cheeks. Dahyun’s youngest sister huddles against her side, shivering until Dahyun puts her arms around her, her two other sisters doing the same.

Dahyun glances around as they walk, seeing how few people in the village are awake yet, a person here or there dotting the landscape, faces that once were so familiar, now hardly recognizing her as they squint at their crew meandering down the dirt path. It causes quite the stir once they realize it’s the Queen walking their streets, everyone peering from their windows to try and get a glimpse of Mina, Dahyun laughing and bumping her arm to show her how enamored everyone is with the sight of her. 

She remembers a time when she had no idea what Mina looked like, how she would sit at the fire in their small cottage and try to distract from her empty, growling stomach with thoughts of what the palace may be like, what kind of things Mina did. Dahyun knew only what her father told her, and that was never anything nice, but she wanted to think nice things of the palace, of the royal family. Her favorite daydream when she was younger, perhaps thirteen, was to think that the royal family threw balls, that people danced and drank late into the night, that they enjoyed life. She never could have imagined where she would be today, so close to Mina, knowing her intimate thoughts, her fears, her happiest and worst memories. All her desires in her life, and to know what being loved by her feels like. Dahyun feels lucky, beyond lucky, to know what the feeling of Mina’s kiss is like, knowing she is the only person ever granted that privilege. 

“I am freezing!” Her brother exclaims dramatically then, shocking Dahyun from her train of thought, the boy tugging at Mina’s skirt. Before Dahyun can scold him for it, Mina laughs sweetly as she reaches to scoop the boy up, keeping him warm. 

“You do not have to do that, I can take him,” Dahyun protests weakly, feeling as if she is burdening Mina with all of the children in some way. She knows Mina is used to being unencumbered, nobody relying on her directly in such a way, but she’s a natural at it it seems. 

“No he is a sweetheart,” Mina smiles warmly, and Dahyun feels a funny feeling rising in her chest, an odd sort of yearning as she looks at Mina with a child on her hip, eyes quickly darting away in desperation for the unexplainable feeling to leave her. 

“Where are we headed to your Majesty?” The carriage driver asks as they approach, looking fondly at the gaggle of children alongside the two women. “The palace?” 

“The South Village first, sir,” Mina answers pleasantly, pulling some money from her trunk and passing it to him. “I know that is a bit of trouble, to pass the palace and loop back to it. I appreciate your service.” 

“Thank you, your Grace,” He looks the money over in disbelief, bowing deeply to her. “Let me get the trunks, you all get settled in the carriage.” 

Dahyun shoos her sisters in first, the three of them settling in a row on one side of the carriage while she and Mina settle on the other, her brother clambering to sit on her lap. All of the children glance around in awe at the inside of the carriage, fingers flitting over the lace curtains, brushing the velvet seats, shocked that people travel this way. They are set into motion swiftly, Dahyun letting out a long sigh of relief as they roll away from their village gates. She hates to admit it, but now her siblings are with her she has no lasting connection to this place, the only thing that brings sickly sweet nostalgia to her mind the memories of her mother, but even that is tainted by the lasting memory burnt into her mind of how her mother looking dying, thin and ghastly pale, shutting her eyes one night and never waking up again. Dahyun remembers her final words to her so clearly, remembers how her bony hands felt in Dahyun’s grasp as she uttered a raspy, ‘You will do great things.’

“What is the South Village like?” Dahyun’s oldest sister’s voice brings her from her reverie, embarrassingly finding her eyes a bit watery. She hurriedly glances out the window to watch the mountains roll by so nobody sees, trying not to get lost in thought again. Her mind has wandered too much today for her liking. 

“Well, many of the nobles live there,” Mina explains patiently. “There are the houses they live in, the school you will attend, a market where goods are sold, and all letters in the kingdom are sent from there.” All of the children hang on her every word, Dahyun finding herself smiling at how enamored they are with listening to Mina speak. “My best friend lives there.” 

“Dahyun is not your best friend?” Dahyun’s youngest sister asks, making Mina laugh a little, Dahyun shooting her a nervous glance. All she can think as she looks at Mina is the limbo their relationship is now in, their shared kisses heavy in the air between them, no time to have discussed what this means for their friendship, for Dahyun’s place as her handmaiden. 

“Dahyun is more than a friend, she is family to me,” Mina answers, reaching to take Dahyun’s hand. Their eyes meet, Mina’s saying more than her mouth does. “She is very special to me.” Dahyun smiles, holding tight to Mina’s hand as she tries to express her gratefulness, words escaping her as she thinks of how Mina’s lips felt on her own, how warm she felt all over. 

The children continue their soft chatter as the carriage rolls on, Mina still holding Dahyun’s hand tightly in her grasp, as if grounding her to reality, somehow knowing her mind is floating away at every opportunity today. Mina feels steady as a mountain, Dahyun looking from her to the mountains rolling by them now, admiring Mina’s strength as always, but more than that admiring her trust in Dahyun to be vulnerable too. She has never known someone like Mina, never had the chance for deep friendship, for love beyond her family, for thoughts beyond how to survive day to day. 

But now, her thoughts are filled with small things, perhaps trivial; she wants to sleep beside Mina every night, not for warmth but for comfort, for the feeling in her chest like a shooting star when Mina is close to her. She wants to see every corner of the world with Mina at her side, she wants to know all the things Mina knows, learn all she has learned. She wants to pore through every poem in the palace library until she can finally find one that resonates how deeply she loves Mina, so she can tell Mina how much the woman means to her without embarrassing herself. She wants it all, all the silly little things like pouring each other’s cup of tea and reading over each other’s shoulder. 

“Your mind is gone again,” Mina says teasingly, a tone quiet enough only Dahyun hears her. “You keep slipping away from me today.” 

“Not away from you,” Dahyun murmurs with a sigh, leaning her head against her shoulder, now realizing her brother has vacated her lap to sit on her oldest sister’s and bother her. “My mind is only filled with you.” 

Mina smiles, then, that gummy smile reserved only for Dahyun, one that makes her heart feel like it’s swelling in her chest. “How lucky to be the object of your thoughts,” Mina says then, squeezing Dahyun’s hand. “We are quite close to the South village now, we are along the river that passes by the palace.” 

Dahyun peeks out the window, seeing the coursing river and smiling herself. “That is where I used to wash the clothes when I was a laundress.” 

“Ah really?” Mina asks curiously. “My father never detailed to me how the laundresses did their work. Is the water cold?” 

“Not when the sun is warm,” Dahyun sighs, turning back to face Mina. “Should you not know how the water feels?” 

“I was never allowed to swim in the river,” Mina explains quietly. “My father was afraid someone would find a way to harm me if I strayed that far from the palace walls.” Dahyun mulls that over, wondering what other sorts of things Mina missed out on because of fear, because of all her obligations and responsibilities. “The only place I was allowed to have fun was when we went to the shore, because it was so secluded.” 

“The shore is very nice,” Dahyun says softly, unsure what else to say, glancing then to her siblings. “They are a bit jealous I got to go,” She laughs. 

“Oh, we can take them sometime!” Mina offers pleasantly. “When I have a break in palace duties we can take a vacation, yeah?” 

Dahyun feels an overwhelming urge to kiss Mina again, but she knows she can’t, not right now, she decides to save that for later and instead smiles, whispering, “That sounds lovely.” 

“Although, I believe I will have some trips coming up for business reasons,” Mina grimaces a little. “But you are more than welcome to accompany me on those as well, without the children sadly.” 

Dahyun chuckles, thankful the children are too preoccupied with some little game they’re playing to hear their conversation. “Wherever you go, I am happy to follow.”

“Look look!” The children start chanting, and Dahyun figures they must be approaching the South village, smiling as she watches them eagerly cheer at the sight of such nice buildings, gasping when they spot the school with children playing outside. 

“Does it look wonderful?” Dahyun asks, overjoyed to hear their squeals of glee as the carriage comes to a halt. 

“How long do you propose you’ll be your Highness?” The carriage driver asks as he offers a hand to help all of them out of the carriage, Dahyun carrying the children’s sack of belongings for them. 

“No more than an hour, sir,” Mina assures him with a smile. 

It’s a quick walk to the school down the street, the children practically skipping the whole way there with Mina and Dahyun chasing after them, laughing giddily as they go. As they approach, Dahyun realizes Nayeon is waiting outside the school for them, donning a tea length black dress and white lace gloves, hair in looping curls around her face, pearls on her neck. Her eyes flick once between Mina and Dahyun, then to the kids in front of them. 

“I do not see you for a few months and you adopt four children?” She asks in an amused tone, eyebrows raised. 

“They are not mine,” Mina rolls her eyes. “They are Dahyun’s siblings, as I told you.” 

“Yes I am aware, but I have to tease you it is my job,” Nayeon laughs, waving them all to head inside. “It is nice to see you again, by the way,” She murmurs, pulling Mina in a tight hug, whispering in a voice Dahyun is sure Nayeon thinks she can’t hear. “You are doing so well, Mina. I love you.” 

“I love you too,” Mina whispers back, squeezing both of Nayeon’s hands in her own before they’re all ushered inside. 

Dahyun tries to ignore the sour taste in her mouth as she steps fully inside the school, hearing hushed gasps from her siblings as they peer around and take in the building. It’s warmly lit by candles in holders on the wall, children in uniforms pouring back into the foyer from the side door after having been outside to play. “We are going to live here?” Dahyun hears her middle sister asking in awe, and it just makes her heart squeeze in her chest.

“The head of the school will take them up to their living chambers, and then show them around the school,” Nayeon explains, waving a man over from his desk in the foyer. He smiles as he bows to all of the children, them looking around confused and unsure how to respond.

“Like this,” Dahyun whispers, showing them how to curtsy.

“We will have them up to speed in no time,” The man assures Dahyun, waving the children to follow him. 

“You can tag along if you would like, Dahyun,” Nayeon says in an almost pointed tone, Dahyun feeling that sour taste returning, realizing now it’s jealousy, the bitter feeling settling in a pit in her stomach. She realizes now Nayeon wants Mina alone, and Dahyun swallows back the lump in her throat, eyes falling to the ground as she nods, turning to follow the children.

As they walk through the classrooms she finds herself unable to listen, even as her siblings ask question after question, the head of the school rambling on, Dahyun isn’t totally present. Why would Nayeon need to talk to Mina alone? Mina tells Dahyun everything anyways, or at least Dahyun thought she did. But it seems every time Nayeon is in the picture Dahyun is set aside, and she finds a burning curiosity in her to know what they’re talking about. 

“Excuse me for a moment,” She blurts out, apologetically curtsying before rushing back down the hallway, desperately searching for wherever Mina and Nayeon went. She knows this is a rash decision, one she might regret, but she can’t stand the sting of jealousy much longer. 

She rounds a corner, spotting a door creaked just a bit open with ‘Miss Im Nayeon’ on a placard on the door, and Dahyun takes a deep breath, tip toeing until she’s close enough she can hear their muffled voices. She feels a bit guilty eavesdropping, but not enough to pry her curious ears away, knowing she was quiet enough not to alert them she’s there, no break in the flow of their conversation. 

“Something is up with you, I can tell,” Nayeon says in an insistent tone, and Dahyun furrows her brows. What could be wrong with Mina? Wouldn’t she know? 

“I do not know what you are talking about,” Mina laughs, sounding almost nervous. “I have barely said a word and you have decided something is wrong.” 

“That is the thing, you did not need to say anything,” Nayeon keeps pressing, and it sounds like she’s pacing, heels clacking rhythmically on the glossy wooden floors of her office. “And I did not say something was wrong, I said something was up, there is a difference.” 

“Do not bore me with semantics, just tell me what you think I am hiding so I can assure you I am not,” Mina sounds exasperated, and Dahyun frowns, never wanting her to be annoyed. 

“There is something on your face, you look different,” Nayeon laughs incredulously, and Dahyun shifts, peeking inside slightly trying to see what Nayeon means about Mina’s face. She looks the same as always, Dahyun thinks; beautiful, as she always is, an amused smile on her lips, hair loose and framing her face. “You are glowing.” 

“Perhaps you are losing it a bit,” Mina teases, and Dahyun hears an annoyed huff from Nayeon. 

“Have you found a suitor? Is that it?” Nayeon guesses, and Dahyun watches Mina’s face contort in annoyance. 

“You think a man is making me glow?” Mina asks in an almost accusing tone.

“No, no, it was just a shot in the dark.” Silence falls for a few long moments, and Dahyun is about to take her chance to dart away so they won’t realize she’s there, until finally she hears a soft, “Oh, I know.” 

Dahyun huffs under her breath, rolling her eyes at the vagueness of the statement, leaning further to try and catch a glimpse of Nayeon too. She’s holding up a bundle of letters tied together with a string, and Dahyun sees Mina’s face has changed, confirming Nayeon’s assumption without having to say a word. 

“Ooh, I want to know!” Nayeon exclaims. “Tell me all about it.” 

“There is no ‘it’. I probably made a huge mistake,” Mina says in a harsh tone. “I am sorry, I just...I cannot continue to have indiscretions like that. It will only blow up in my face later.”

“Forever the pessimist,” Nayeon sighs. “The thing is, Mina, you cannot be in between. You either choose to be miserable forever and marry someone you hate, or you pursue this wholeheartedly. You cannot have both.” 

“I would never do that to her,” Mina whispers. “That is why I cannot pursue this, it will never be a forever thing. One day I will have to choose someone, if for nothing else than to produce an heir to the throne. I do not want to string her along.” 

“But you will always think of her, yes?” Nayeon asks in a hushed voice, Dahyun watching how Mina nods, unable to say a word. “Come here, Mina,” Nayeon whispers, pulling her into a tight hug, Mina muffling her cries into Nayeon’s shoulder. 

“This morning I was so confident I could make everything be fine, b-but…” Mina sighs, shaking her head. “I am weak. I cannot resist her.” 

Dahyun’s heart feels as if it halts completely in her chest, realizing they’re discussing her, discussing the kisses they shared even in such vague terms. She feels intrusive, even though she is involved in what they’re talking about, and it just makes her stomach turn realizing the hesitation Mina has about what they did. She never would have done such a thing if she had thought for a second it might hurt Mina this way. 

“Let us go find Dahyun, you two should be heading back to the palace,” Nayeon says then, Dahyun panicking and pulling away from the door, slipping into a small hall closet just barely in time to hear them passing by. She knows she should find some way to beat them back to the foyer, but again curiosity burns in her mind, wondering what those letters Nayeon was holding up had to do with anything. 

Despite her mind screaming at her not to, she slips back down to Nayeon’s office, quiet feet sneaking inside and shutting the door with a tiny click. She has never snooped around like this, but she figures it’s only fair considering she was the topic of their conversation. The letters are sat atop the otherwise pristine desk, Dahyun plucking them up by the string, wanting to leave no trace of her presence in the office. Instantly, she recognizes Mina’s handwriting, and it makes her breath catch in her throat. She undoes the string, starting at what looks like the earliest letter, thankful now for all those days studying to read as her eyes scan the lines.

Dear Nayeon, 

I did as you suggested and have chosen a handmaiden for myself, you were right not to trust the council. Until I have put my own additions to their ranks I know everyone but Sunmi is out to ruin me. 

My handmaiden is a sweet girl, quite shy but definitely a hard worker. She cried when I told her I had chosen her, it was quite endearing to see her so touched. It is obvious she has not had much happiness in her life, so I am hopeful she will be happy at the palace. I was wondering if perhaps I should choose another maid as well, most monarchs do, but I think I would like to keep her to myself. 

Dahyun’s thumb traces over the words of the letter, trying to imagine Mina sitting down to write this. They had barely known each other then, Dahyun still somewhat petrified of Mina. She never could have imagined they would be here now. Her eyes fall to the next letter, greedy for more, to know everything Mina has ever thought about her. 

Nayeon, 

I must write hastily, for I do not know how long she will be distracted enough to not peer over my shoulder. But I have to admit, all of my years insisting I will never be able to live with someone that close to me have been wrong, she is a joy. She has such a special air about her, like she is not from this world, and it intrigues me so. You will have to visit and meet her sometime, she is incredibly charming and I am sure you two would hit it off. 

Dahyun smiles, a fond warmth spreading through her. She chuckles a little at seeing Mina’s evident worrying, though this certainly would have been before Dahyun could have read what she was writing. The next letter is barely a scrap of paper, Mina’s handwriting messy, as if she was tired or half in the dark when writing it.

Nayeon, 

How do you know when you are in love? I have never felt such a thing before, I thought I never would. But sometimes I wonder if I am not as defective as I once thought I was, or perhaps defective in a different way. I have always thought of you as the older sister I did not have, so please impart some sisterly wisdom on me about what to do if I am in love with the wrong person. 

The letter after that is much longer, causing Dahyun to make sure no footsteps are approaching before setting in to read it. 

Dear Nayeon, 

I know I have not written for awhile, and I do apologize. I have been so caught up with everything going on at the palace. I regret to inform you that the palace was attacked, but we are all safe. There were no casualties, surprisingly. It reminded me of when we were children in the worst way, and though I was glad to know you were unequivocally safe I missed your comfort in such a dire time.

Thankfully, Dahyun was able to come to the bunker with me. I do not know how I would have gotten through without her, she is so strong and I admire her so, her quiet and kind sort of strength. She is so warm without being weak, knowing when to be vulnerable without seeming fragile. I truly believe she is Heaven sent, nobody like her is made by accident. 

I have been pondering what you said, that I will never find love if I continue rejecting everyone I meet, and I have decided that in some ways you were both right and wrong. Love will never come from one of my suitors, especially not now I know what it feels like to be in love - nobody compares to Dahyun. I could not have stopped myself from falling if I tried, and trust me I surely tried. But it is impossible not to love her, to know her is to love her, and I just want to love her forever. 

You told me in your last letter I would know if I had truly fallen in love, and I do know now, without an inch of doubt. No matter how I try to deny it, I want to be with her, and I just hope that these feelings will not eat me alive until I cannot contain them anymore.

I hope you are well, do take care of yourself. Sana asked about you in her last letter to me, you should write her! 

Dahyun exhales a sharp breath through her nose, reading Mina’s words over and over again. In love. Mina is in love with her. Her heart slams against her sternum, thinking about how long Mina has hidden these feelings, heart aching every time she remembers all the times she brushed off Mina’s gestures as friendly, almost laughing at herself. How could she not have realized sooner? She supposes she would have no way of knowing really, she has never been in love herself before Mina. But she knows without a shadow of a doubt she adores Mina unlike anyone else, and to know those feelings are returned makes her feel like her heart is soaring. It was not just some heat of passion kiss that Mina did not mean, it was really her truest feelings finally at the surface. 

The final letter in the bundle makes Dahyun’s heart sink, smile falling from her face. 

Dear Nayeon, 

While I do appreciate your barrage of let me say encouragement to make romantic advances on her, I cannot ever do such a thing. I am content to know I love her, and to make sure her life is as wonderful as possible, but I cannot ruin her in such a way. She is too precious for me to involve in such a thing, messy politics that would hurt her. Imagine the scandal if people found out even a shred of my feelings for her, let alone if we were to actually be intimate with one another. I would never want to put her in the public eye in such a way, not when people would find every reason to make it her fault and not mine, when the fault is entirely mine.

And aside from that, she is young and innocent and altogether entirely too sweet. I worry she would feel some sort of obligation to return my feelings, or to do things with me she does not really want. How would I know what she does out of duty and what she does out of true feeling? It would pain me to think for even a second I may take advantage of her in some way, she does not deserve that. She deserves the world, and I intend to give that to her in every way I can without hurting her or sacrificing my dignity. 

Dahyun feels like her throat is closing. Mina never wanted to do anything with her, that must have been what she meant when said those ‘indiscretions’ can never be repeated; they were never meant to kiss, Dahyun was never meant to know how she feels. That knowledge weighs heavily on her mind, tears welling in her eyes, clouding her vision, realizing now they probably will never speak of what happened, save for perhaps lamenting that they cannot truly be together. That hurts more than Dahyun thought it would, all of her perhaps silly daydreams of a life with Mina flooding away. 

Before can fall entirely into self pity, her ears perk as she hears footsteps at the end of the hallway. She sets the letters quickly back on the desk, bolting out of the office and trying to make it look as if she has no idea how she ended up in this wing of the school. 

“Dahyun, my goodness,” Mina’s voice hits her ears, a pang of upset hitting her all over again. “You scared me, we could not find you anywhere.” 

“I got a bit lost,” Dahyun murmurs, hating to lie, but knowing it would be worse to be truthful. “I am sorry.” 

“It is alright, so long as you are alright,” Mina looks so worried, and the guilt only builds, Dahyun’s heart aching, like it’s cracking in half right inside her chest. Mina’s hand rests on her shoulder, like everything is okay so long as she knows Dahyun is safe, is in her reach. Every touch holds more depth now, the weight of Mina’s feelings in every touch she allowed herself to steal, probably feeling guilty later every time. 

“The children are waiting in the foyer to say goodbye,” Nayeon interjects, and Dahyun realizes now how out of place her jealousy had been, thinking of how Nayeon has been the one encouraging Mina to go after her heart. 

She smiles Nayeon’s way, saying a soft, “Thank you for everything, Miss Im.” 

“It is no trouble! Your siblings are wonderful,” She grins. “And please, just call me Nayeon.” 

The three of them head to the foyer, Dahyun smiling sadly when she sees her siblings looking so eager to hug her. She instantly kneels to pull them all into a huge, tight hug, whispering a teary, “I am so proud of all of you.” 

“We are proud of you too,” Dahyun’s oldest sister murmurs to her. “You gave us a better life.” Tears slip down Dahyun’s cheeks hearing that, to know she achieved all she had ever wanted, since that very first day at ten years old looking into her oldest sister’s small, baby face, all she has ever strived to do is to make their lives happier, to lessen their suffering.

“Be good, study hard,” Dahyun says as she wipes her tears away. “I will see you all at Christmas at the latest.” 

“Christmas in the palace is quite exciting, I am sure you will enjoy it,” Mina tells the children with a grin, all of them lighting up with glee. 

Though reluctant to leave, Dahyun knows they are in good hands, thankful she knows Nayeon well enough to trust that she will look after the kids. Mina and Nayeon hug tightly to say goodbye, Nayeon totally taking Dahyun by surprise and hugging her as well, laughing a soft, “Keep her in line, will you?” Into her ear. 

“I try my best,” Dahyun jokes back, glancing to Mina. “She is a handful.”

“Hey!” Mina protests, mock offended as she reaches for Dahyun’s hand. “I am lovely to be around, thank you very much.”

“Yes, you are,” Dahyun says quietly, wondering now if that is too much, more than she should say. 

They depart then, walking in silence back down the street towards the carriage waiting at the gate. Mina keeps a tight grip on Dahyun’s hand, and she will not protest, though she does wonder why Mina is still so forward with her affection. She can’t help but glance to Mina, studying the plain look on her face, trying to understand where she wants to go from here. 

“You are exceptionally quiet today,” Mina says out of the blue.

“I am simply lost in thought,” Dahyun smiles tensely, allowing Mina to step inside the carriage first and following behind, seating herself across from Mina rather than beside her this time. 

“It must be hard to say goodbye to your siblings again after just reuniting with them,” Mina says sympathetically. “I cannot imagine that.”

“I will miss them,” Dahyun agrees, sighing as the carriage sets into motion, watching the school slowly fade into the distance. “But they will do well, studying and making friends.” She looks back to Mina, seeing the woman had been watching her the whole time. “It must be quite lonesome to have so little family. Do you ever wish you had siblings?” 

“Sometimes,” Mina replies quietly, eyes drifting to the window, as if pondering the question. “I have always had Nayeon, she is quite like a sister. And I have my cousins Sana and Momo, though we hardly see one another anymore.” 

Dahyun had entirely forgotten about Mina’s cousins, and she realizes now that must be the Sana that Mina had mentioned in one of her letters to Nayeon. She feels a bit dumb she did not make that connection. 

“Where do your cousins live?” Dahyun asks, happy to keep the conversation surface level as they ride back to the palace. 

“They rule their own kingdoms. Sana lives very far west of here, it would take days by carriage even to get there. Momo lives north of here, even farther north than your village. It would take days by carriage and boat to reach her. We hardly even write on another anymore, we are simply too busy now.,” Mina sighs, leaning back in her seat.

“That must be hard, to not see them,” Dahyun frowns. “Would you like to visit them?” 

“I think I will soon, I will try to tie it into the business trip I must make soon. Would you like to meet them?” Mina smiles then, and Dahyun feels her heart fluttering despite herself.

“I would like to meet anyone who is important to you,” Dahyun says softly, and Mina’s smile grows. 

As the palace comes into view, Dahyun feels like she could cry, so overjoyed to be home again. It looks just as she left it, though the leaves of the trees have begun to change colors, preparing to fall soon as harvest season ends and moves ever closer to winter. 

“Does it snow here?” Dahyun asks in a hushed voice. 

“No, it does not,” Mina answers almost sadly, slipping out of the carriage first to offer Dahyun a hand. “The only time I have seen snow was visiting Momo for Christmas one year.”

The air is crisp and a bit chilly, but Dahyun is happy even as she shivers while they walk up the walkway to the palace’s entrance. She beams as they step inside, the familiar sight of the inside of the palace making her heart swell, nearly welling up in tears again. 

“We should eat, I think,” Mina says quietly, looking to Dahyun for confirmation. “We can dine in my chamber if you would like.”   
“That would be lovely,” Dahyun agrees with a smile, Mina grinning too.

It feels like a huge breath of relief being back in Mina’s chamber, setting her trunk on the floor as they seat themselves at the small table by the fireplace, Dahyun taking the food off of the tray from the kitchen while Mina stokes a small fire to keep them warm as they dine. It’s a nice lunch, a hearty stew and some sort of meat Dahyun has never tried before, but she is eager for the palace’s food regardless of what it tastes like. 

“I should have offered wine, so we could celebrate your return,” Mina remarks as they’re setting into the meal, making Dahyun peek up to look at her. 

“This is enough celebration, your Majesty,” Dahyun murmurs politely, feeling odd at the formal words on her tongue, but not wanting to make Mina uncomfortable or guilty or push her too far. “I am just happy to be here again.” Mina fixes a curious gaze on her, seemingly studying Dahyun, spoon staying put in her bowl of stew. “Eat, your Highness,” Dahyun insists. “I do not want to eat alone.” 

“Why do you keep calling me that?” Mina asks in a hushed whisper, almost sounding nervous. 

“What do you mean?” Dahyun mumbles, eyes falling to her lap, fixing on the crushed velvet of her dress. Mina’s dress.

“You keep addressing me so formally, I just...I wondered why,” Mina sounds absolutely terrified of the answer, Dahyun glancing to look at her and seeing her almost trembling. She looks vulnerable, that scared young woman Dahyun has only seen twice before, once with the Duke, once when the palace was being invaded. She hates to know she’s the cause of this fear. 

“I did not know what would be appropriate, given we have not spoken about...about what happened,” Dahyun manages, cheeks burning in embarrassment. 

“Ah,” Mina nods, almost looking like she could be sick. “I should apologize for that, last night and this morning, it was an overstep and incredibly inappropriate of me.”

“Why do you apologize?” Dahyun asks. “Did I not make it clear enough I was enjoying my participation as well?” Mina laughs, an anxious laugh that seems to tumble past her lips without permission. She wants Mina to see that she did not do anything wrong, but she also worries about pressuring Mina too much, heart twisting in her chest as she debates what to say.

“You have said it before, it is your duty to serve me,” Mina whispers in a choked tone. “I know your endless dedication to me, I appreciate it more than words can say, but I meant it when I said I would not ask much of you. I cannot ask this of you.” 

“You are not asking a thing of me I am not willing to give,” Dahyun says, willing the words from her mouth before they could get caught and die on her tongue.

“Dahyun,” Mina sighs, placing her head in her hands. “You are not making this easy on me.”

“No, I am making it easy, you are the one making it hard,” Dahyun blurts out, watching how Mina’s head shoots up at her sudden impassioned tone. “You find a way to worry about every possible thing that could ever go wrong and while usually I would find that somewhat endearing now I have to admit I find it quite tiresome. I am telling you with every ounce of honesty I have that you are not taking more than I am willing to give, so just believe me, for Gods’ sake!” 

Mina gives an amused sort of chuckle, almost in disbelief. “I have never heard you speak like that before.” 

“I do not think I have ever spoken like that before,” Dahyun admits in more a calm tone. “I am sorry for my outburst.” 

“No, no, I appreciate it,” Mina says earnestly. “You are the only person who has ever told me to get my head on straight like that. That is what I admire so much about you.” Dahyun smiles a little, then. “It is more complicated than you realize, Dahyun. I am not free of marital obligations forever, and I do not want you to get hurt or, or to feel taken advantage of or cheated of a real relationship in some way.” 

Dahyun stands, walking around to place a hand on Mina’s shoulder, a peck to the crown of her head, Mina’s eyes falling closed as she leans against Dahyun, looking exhausted. “You are not taking advantage of me, Mina,” She says finally. “And I understand your obligations. But you deserve one thing in your life that is for your enjoyment, not for someone else. Even if it is temporary.” The words hurt, God they hurt so bad, but Dahyun figures she would rather have Mina for a short while than to not have her at all.

“I do not want you to be temporary,” Mina whispers, tears dripping down her cheeks. “I want you to be my forever.” 

“I will always be here, one way or another,” Dahyun promises, swiping Mina’s tears away delicately. “But would it not be more pleasurable to indulge your feelings for the time you have left than to let them die with your freedom.” 

Mina nods solemnly, pulling Dahyun so she is sitting on the older woman’s lap, Mina’s arms winding around her tightly. “You mean everything to me, Dahyun,” She mutters in a pained voice. “You are the most precious thing in the world.”

Dahyun can’t speak, knowing she’ll cry if she does, instead leaning to press a tender kiss to Mina’s lips, trying to drown in her instead of drowning in the reminder that this is all ultimately a temporary distraction until reality catches up to them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> @bbygirldahyun on tumblr and @bbygiridahyun on twitter :D


	12. Chapter Twelve

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okaayyy it's finally here! thank you guys for waiting so long, i'm sorry it's taken me forever. i hope it was worth it!
> 
> take care of yourselves <3

The parlor is warm today, sunlight through the high windows, making the room look delicate in it’s golden glow. The sounds of a brush against canvas ring in Dahyun’s ears, a rhythmic sort of noise that settles her nerves. 

What if they know?

The question that’s been haunting her for a week rings still in her mind, hands trembling while she carries the tea tray. Her eyes dart to the other side of the parlor, Mina sat facing the window in a high backed, velvet chair, sunlight warming her skin, cheeks rosy and eyes steady on the artist focused on painting her, easel at an angle so as not to block the light and create any shadows. Convincing Mina to finally get her portrait painted hadn’t taken much coming from Dahyun - all she needed was a kiss and Dahyun saying “Please? For me?” and Mina caved.

The painting has been in progress for hours now, Mina in a black gown that hits the floor with a long train, a dip in the collar, sleeves that barely go past her shoulder. She’s wearing her full crown, not just a tiara, and a heavy and quite expensive looking necklace that she had explained to Dahyun was a family heirloom. Not fifteen minutes ago, Jeongyeon, Jihyo, and Sunmi came meandering into the parlor, taking up seats at the other end to watch the painting as it’s being done, Dahyun busying herself fetching tea for the council women. 

“Thank you, Miss Kim,” Sunmi murmurs as Dahyun leans to pour the hot tea into her china cup, trying to steady her shaking hands. 

“My pleasure,” Dahyun whispers with a nervous smile. “Would you like cream or sugar?” 

“No thank you,” Sunmi says warmly, taking a small sip. 

“Miss Lee has a taste for bitterness, apparently,” Jeongyeon jokes, making Dahyun laugh and Jihyo roll her eyes. “I have never understood how anyone can stomach tea without some sweetness.” 

“I take mine without cream or sugar as well,” Dahyun chimes in quietly. 

“See? It is not just me,” Sunmi counters with a laugh. 

“Would you like to join us for tea, Dahyun?” Jihyo asks, cutting through the petty argument. “I hate having you serving us, it feels odd.” 

“I do not mind, it is my job,” Dahyun insists, feeling as though there’s some other meaning behind Jihyo’s offering. She glances to Mina again, seeing her eyes have already moved to watch Dahyun, a small smile on her lips. 

“Sit, pour yourself a cup,” Jihyo insists, Dahyun reluctantly taking a seat on the chair next to Sunmi, Jeongyeon and Jihyo on the loveseat together, hands close enough to be almost interlocked. 

Dahyun pours herself a cup of tea but she can’t bring herself to drink it, anxiety coiled in a tight ball in her stomach. She’s been fretting for the last week and a half about someone finding herself and Mina out. They’ve hardly had any time to be all that romantic, but Dahyun still worries, chewing on her bottom lip as her gaze stays fixed right on Mina, chatter fading out around her. Mina watches her too, that same tender smile on her lips, like she’s no longer interested with the painting anymore and wishes to be with Dahyun instead. That probably is what she’s thinking, Dahyun muses. Mina doesn’t nearly have the patience for this, but she insisted it all be done in one day so as not to waste more time than necessary.

“What do you think finally convinced Mina to do this?” Jeongyeon asks lightheartedly, glancing over her shoulder to watch Mina for a few seconds. 

“I do not know, but I am glad she finally decided to,” Jihyo sighs. “She should have her painting in the study rather than her father’s staying up.” 

“Where will her father’s go when her’s replaces it?” Dahyun asks curiously, trying her best to draw her gaze away from Mina’s.

“There is a room in the palace dedicated to the paintings of all of the monarchs passed,” Sunmi explains easily. “So there is quite a long lineage of paintings of Mina’s family in there.” 

Dahyun wonders then why Mina never mentioned that, or took her there so Dahyun could see portraits of her family. She realizes then how little she truly knows about Mina before they met, how there is so much Mina has experienced she doesn’t share, how she has so much family she doesn’t speak much of. 

“How long has the Myoui rule been?” Jeongyeon asks, looking to Jihyo for the answer. Dahyun has learned from Mina’s conversations that while Jihyo grew up with a very wealthy family, a father on the Council, Jeongyeon’s family barely scraped by living in the South village and she did not have all of the same opportunities for learning before she met Jihyo and the Parks sort of took her under their wing. 

“Over a hundred years now I believe,” Jihyo answers, Sunmi nodding to confirm. “But Mina is the first Queen to rule entirely alone.” 

“History in the making,” Sunmi remarks with a sigh, looking at Mina then somewhat fondly. “This portrait is more important than just to hang in her study, it will forever be a marker of how she changed the kingdom forever. It will be living proof of what she did.” 

Dahyun smiles thinking of it like that; she knows how revolutionary Mina is, but to think some people in some other time will remember her, that she will be discussed and revered as a figurehead for being powerful without a man, Dahyun cannot help but hope Sunmi is right. 

Mina catches Dahyun’s gaze again, now having angled herself so she’s looking right at Dahyun. She can only imagine the artist is silently cursing Mina for not directly facing him while he paints, but Dahyun hopes he’s close enough to being done it won’t affect him too detrimentally. “I miss you,” Mina mouths, Dahyun feeling warmth flooding her cheeks, a smile playing on her lips even as she worries still now that somehow someone will know the intentions behind that. 

“Your Highness,” The artist calls softly. “I believe the painting is finished, save for some finishing touches on the background. Will you come and approve it?” 

“Of course,” Mina sighs heavily in relief, rising from the chair and smoothing her skirt out. She walks around behind the artist, studying the painting for several long moments, nodding a little. “It looks perfect, thank you for taking your day for this sir.” The artist grins then, clearly glad it was able to be finished in a day. 

“May we see, your Majesty?” Jihyo asks in a teasing tone, Mina shooting her a playful glare before waving the whole group over. 

Dahyun can’t help the wide grin that spreads on her face as she looks the portrait over; Mina looks beautiful, elegant and poised, every brush stroke detail perfectly captures her delicate posture. But the part that makes Dahyun smile so hard is that even in the portrait, Mina is looking off in the distance, eyes fixed somewhere not on the artist, lips turned up in that tender, fond smile Dahyun loves so much. She knows the artist painted Mina’s face while the woman was looking at Dahyun, and that just makes her heart feel warm. 

“I never thought I would be smiling in my portrait,” Mina remarks with a chuckle. 

“Me neither,” Sunmi teases, bumping Mina’s arm. “You always insisted you would be so irritated it would show by the end of it.”

Mina looks over Sunmi’s shoulder to Dahyun, smile matching the one she’s wearing in the portrait, and Dahyun just can’t help the overwhelming urge she feels to kiss Mina, already wishing they could be alone again so she could act on the feeling. 

They don’t get the chance to be alone until much later after dinner, the second the chamber door is shut securely behind them Dahyun feels herself being pulled into a tight embrace, Mina kissing her soundly, smiling against her lips at the gasp Dahyun lets out. “I cannot stand going all day unable to do that,” Mina whispers. 

“Me neither,” Dahyun laughs breathlessly. “I miss you all day.” Mina smiles, looking genuinely touched deeply at Dahyun’s enthusiasm matching her own. Despite her no longer saying it, Dahyun knows she still frets that she’s somehow taking advantage of the girl, and no matter what Dahyun says it never convinces Mina otherwise. 

“I have to tell you, Sunmi has officially scheduled the long business trip,” Mina sighs, Dahyun still tight in her arms. “So we will be leaving in a day or two. Would you still like to come?” 

“Wherever you go, I follow,” Dahyun tells her softly, giving a peck to Mina’s cheek. 

“It will be a long trip, by carriage and boat for parts of it,” Mina warns her. “Are you sure?” 

“You can be honest if you do not want me to come,” Dahyun jokes, Mina sighing while she rolls her eyes. “Yes, I am sure.”

“I will always want you to come,” Mina smiles, cheeks looking more red than usual, and Dahyun grins realizing how bashful Mina becomes when speaking about her feelings. “You make even dull business duties feel fun.”

“You flatter me,” Dahyun beams, feeling warmth spreading through her in moments like these. Times like these, it’s easy to forget the temporariness of it all, that this won’t be forever. It’s easy to ignore those nagging thoughts as Mina pulls her in for another kiss, every nerve in Dahyun’s body feeling as if it’s on fire when she feels Mina guiding her to sit on the bed, Dahyun sitting in Mina’s lap now while they kiss. 

“These are the first kisses I have ever enjoyed,” Mina sighs softly, Dahyun’s thumb tracing over her slightly reddened lips. 

“You have kissed someone before?” Dahyun asks in a tight voice, jealousy rearing its ugly head in her chest, even now knowing Mina is unequivocally hers. 

“It was not my choice,” Mina laughs. “At the New Year’s ball when I was thirteen a young prince asked me to dance with him, and my parents made me agree. He barely got a peck on my lips before I pushed him away.”

Dahyun chuckles a little thinking of that, of Mina even at such a young age willing to stand up for herself and her own comfort. But even as Mina laughs at the memory, Dahyun’s mood dampens, wondering what her parents would think of their daughter being in such a relationship. It’s certainly not what they want for her, of course not. Dahyun knows they must be desperate for grandchildren, as anyone would be, and it’s evident that while they love Mina and humor her distaste for a suitor for now they’re hoping she’ll grow out of it. Dahyun knows this is not something Mina can or will grow out of, but to tell her family that would be a devastation. 

“You got quiet all of a sudden,” Mina remarks, bringing Dahyun back to the present. “What is occupying your beautiful mind?”

“How long?” Dahyun asks suddenly, Mina clearly confused, prompting her to go on. “How long until we can no longer be together this way, I mean.” 

Mina’s face twists into an unpleasant expression as she mulls the question over. “I hope a very long time…” She sighs heavily, holding Dahyun tighter in her lap. “I have many years before I will no longer be able to bear children...that is good for us.” Dahyun hates she has to think of herself in such a way, as simply a vessel to create children with, that that is a marker of how many years of freedom and autonomy she has left.

“Will I still be your handmaiden after you marry?” Dahyun whispers, thinking of that prospect even if it makes her stomach turn. 

“I surely hope so,” Mina whispers back with a sad smile on her lips. “I would miss you far too much.” 

“I would miss you too,” Dahyun murmurs, both of them moving so they can lie together on the bed, Mina’s head resting on Dahyun’s chest, listening to her heartbeat. “I will take care of you always, no matter what. I will be right beside you through everything, even the unpleasant things.”

Mina smiles in a melancholy sort of way, reaching to intertwine her fingers with Dahyun’s hand. “You are a saint, Dahyun. You give me too much already.” 

“Not nearly what you deserve,” Dahyun whispers tearfully. 

“Do not cry,” Mina sits up to thumb the single tear streaked down Dahyun’s cheek away. “We have many years before we have to worry about such things. And no matter what, you are my one and only until the end of time. My only love.” Dahyun feels lucky, knowing no matter what Mina has to do she will never be an obligation to Mina, she is someone Mina truly loves and wants to be with.

“What will this trip be like?” Dahyun asks, eager for a topic change, mad at herself for bringing up such an unpleasant conversation. 

Mina props herself up on her elbow to face Dahyun as she replies, “We will travel far south first, it will be very warm there. The Chou Kingdom wish to discuss trade with me in person and I was eager to take the trip, I have not been there since I was a teen with my father.” She sighs a little. “They have a daughter a bit younger than you I think, she is a sweetheart.” 

“That sounds like it will not be unbearable,” Dahyun murmurs with a smile, making Mina chuckle. “And after that?” 

“I thought we could visit my cousins, I have not seen them since my coronation and even that was hardly more than a hello and a goodbye, everything was so hectic,” Mina goes on. “They will be eager to meet you I am sure.” 

“I am eager to meet them!” Dahyun grins. “I am quite excited to travel, I had never been outside my village prior to coming here.” 

“I will take you to see the world,” Mina promises in a hushed voice. “Anywhere we can go, I will take you.” 

Dahyun feels herself smiling even when their lips meet, the kiss full of soft laughs and their foreheads knocking together clumsily, but that makes it all the more enjoyable. 

~

The morning they are set to depart is chilly, dew still on the grass as they wait outside for the carriages to be prepared. Since all of the council members are set to attend the trip as well, it will be quite the procession of three carriages; Jeongyeon and Jihyo in one of the small ones, the two councilmen in the other small one, Mina, Sunmi, and Dahyun sharing the larger one. Dahyun shivers in the brisk morning air, teeth chattering slightly, feeling heavy fabric wrapped around her shoulders. 

“Here, so you do not freeze,” Mina murmurs, Dahyun realizing Mina has wrapped her own shawl around Dahyun to keep her warm. 

“But you will be cold,” Dahyun protests weakly, shooting Mina a little look. Mina chuckles, arms winding around Dahyun from behind. 

“You will keep me warm,” She whispers, Dahyun’s eyes darting around to make sure nobody finds this behavior odd. She knows they were affectionate before but now it holds so much more weight, and she frets that somehow someone will see and just know the true feelings in their gestures, someone will find them out. 

“The carriages are ready,” Sunmi announces softly, the whole group breathing a sigh of relief and traipsing over to their respective carriage. 

These carriages are much nicer than the ones Dahyun has travelled in thus far, clearly suited for much longer journeys. She and Mina take a seat on one side, Sunmi on the other, the oldest woman looking quite tired. Dahyun can’t imagine how much pressure her job must be, to keep the peace between Mina’s temper and the old men on the council, and to keep Mina safe. Dahyun appreciates all Sunmi does for Mina, knowing they have a sibling like bond. 

“Are you excited for the trip?” Mina asks Sunmi with a knowing smile on her face as their carriage sets into motion. 

“Why would I be any more excited than usual?” Sunmi asks tiredly, bemused smile on her lips. 

“Oh do not be so coy, you know what I mean!” Mina has a teasing quality to her voice, indicating more than she says, and Dahyun gives her a little look trying to silently ask for clarification. 

“Mina,” Sunmi sighs, exasperated. “This is a business trip. That is all it will be.” 

“Uh huh, sure,” Mina giggles, Sunmi shooting her a glare. “How long has it been? Since coronation yes?” 

“You know that,” Sunmi mutters. “We have written though.” 

“I should have known,” Mina’s eyes are glimmering with mischief at teasing Sunmi, and even though Dahyun isn’t quite sure what all the teasing is about she can’t help but chuckling too. 

“You need to keep her line,” Sunmi jokes to Dahyun. “She is endlessly frustrating.” 

“Do not use her against me,” Mina protests with a laugh. “She still tolerates me, do not ruin it!” 

Dahyun laughs too, enjoying seeing Mina and Sunmi so lighthearted together. The question still burns in Dahyun’s mind of what they were referring to in such vague terms, mulling it over as the carriage rolls on, the fog of the early morning making it so even if she peeks out through the lace curtain she cannot see much, sighing and resolving to settle back against the plush seat, half listening to the chatter between Mina and Sunmi. It’s a calming sort of ride, the conversation fading off as the morning turns late, sun bright overhead as it shines in the windows of the carriage, Dahyun shifting to slide the shawl off, too warm now. 

Her eyes glance across to the other seat, seeing Sunmi has dozed off, eyes shut tight as she slumbers peacefully. “Mina?” Dahyun whispers softly, shifting to lean into Mina’s side, not wanting Sunmi to hear. “What were you two talking about earlier?” 

Mina grins, shooting her a glance, then looking back to Sunmi. “She has a certain affinity shall we say for my cousin Momo. They write often.” 

“So they are...together?” Dahyun murmurs, shocked at knowing Sunmi is the same way Mina is, the same way she herself has realized she is too. It’s hard to think of anyone being any other way when love like this is so tender, but Dahyun knows that’s not the common thought of the world. 

“Not exactly,” Mina sighs. “They have feelings for one another, that is for certain. But what with the distance, Sunmi’s job with me, Momo’s position ruling her own kingdom...well she is in my same shoes. She cannot choose either.” 

“That is quite sad,” Dahyun leans her head onto Mina’s shoulder. “It is obvious Miss Lee likes her quite a bit, given how she reacted.” 

Mina chuckles a little. “I remember when they first met at the palace, it was so odd. Sunmi has never been a bashful or shy person, but something about Momo makes her so nervous. That was over a year ago I think...we had been planning for my coronation and they had met at one of the rehearsals for it.” 

“Life is funny like that sometimes,” Dahyun agrees softly. “You meet someone so important when you do not expect to at all.” 

“You sound as if you speak from experience,” Mina shifts to look at Dahyun, taking her hand gently. Their eyes meet, air thick with unspoken words, things both of them hesitate to say. How could Dahyun say the deepest feelings in her heart in a place like this, with Sunmi sleeping just a few feet from them? Perhaps she shouldn’t say them at all, not make things harder for when she and Mina will have to share their last kiss, however far away that may be. 

“I do,” She finally says. “I came to the palace looking for a job, I did not ever think I would find someone I…” She swallows back the word love, sour on her tongue. “Someone I care about so much.” 

“You are soft,” Mina teases in a light tone, letting her nose brush against Dahyun’s for a moment. “It is quite funny as you say, I do not like to let people in and yet you pushed away every barrier without even trying.” 

“I remember when I arrived one of the ladies in the kitchen had me a bit frightened of you,” Dahyun laughs a little as she thinks of the memory, so distant and silly now. “She made you sound so cold.” 

“What did she say?” Mina asks curiously, not seeming offended in any way, to Dahyun’s surprise. 

“She just said you were reserved, and you seemed a bit cold to your suitors, which I suppose is true,” Dahyun goes on, Mina nodding as she listens intently. “I was scared to meet you, thinking I would never be able to make a decent impression on you.” 

“Would you like to know why you made such a good impression on me?” Mina asks, Dahyun nodding eagerly. “You were so genuine, and you did not fawn over me in any kind of way. You were just wholly yourself, and I appreciated that more than anything. Finding genuine people is very hard sometimes, especially when you are in a position of power. But you did not care for my power or any of that, you just wanted to do honest, hard work. That is quite admirable.” 

Dahyun feels her cheeks warming, touched at Mina’s words. She takes great pride in knowing she made a good impression on Mina from day one, and to hear her say that she did it simply by being herself makes her practically glow with pride. 

“Meeting you did not feel like meeting a stranger,” Mina adds suddenly, Dahyun furrowing her brow in question to what she means. “It felt like coming home to someone I had known forever.” 

Even after their conversation moves on, Mina pulling a book from her small bag she brought inside the carriage with her for them to read from to pass the time, Dahyun thinks of those words. She has read many poems, so many of them about love, all sorts of sonnets have played in her mind even as she’s fallen asleep, but none of those words can quite compare to when Mina says such things. To know she is the subject of Mina’s affections, of her romantic thoughts, it feels like a gift Dahyun isn’t even sure she deserves. 

Dahyun doesn’t remember drifting off, but she must have at some point, waking with a jolt as the carriage slams to a halt, making a noise of surprise when she feels a hand firmly grasping her arm. “We have arrived,” Mina’s voice calms her nerves, making her feel okay letting her eyes flutter open, seeing Sunmi already having slipped out of the open carriage door. 

“What time is it?” Dahyun asks hoarsely, still looking as if it’s nearly dark. 

“The sun has barely come over the horizon,” Mina replies. “But they know we are here.” She offers Dahyun a hand, guiding her out of the carriage and down the steps. 

The air is balmy, even warmer than when they were at the coast, despite the sun barely being up. Rather than the fresh meadows and grass Dahyun is used to at Mina’s palace, she is greeted with reed like grasses and sandy patches under her feet, an imposing looking castle just inside tall wooden gates. She sighs softly, leaning into Mina’s side, watching as the carriage staff pile the trunks up for them to come and take their own. 

“Mina, Jihyo has been threatening me since we got into the carriage,” Jeongyeon says with a laugh, earning her a hard swat to the arm from Jihyo. 

“Because she spent the entire ride whining like a petulant toddler!” Jihyo argues, rolling her eyes when Jeongyeon’s arms wind around her waist in an attempt to soften her. 

“Do I need to separate you two?” Mina jokes, eyes crinkling at the corners as she laughs at their teasing one another, Dahyun chuckling too. 

“Alright, we should get inside the gates,” Sunmi sighs. “I do not like to idle around in near darkness.” 

They all trail after Sunmi, the heavy wooden gates pushed open and then locked again behind them securely by guards. Dahyun stays close to Mina’s side, wondering already what it will look like inside this new place, this palace even on the outside looking so much different from Mina’s. She wracks her brain trying to envision the Chou family from Mina’s coronation, but that night was such a blur she can’t remember much else besides Mina, how angelic she had looked in that beautiful white dress, how even then she’d seemed taken with Dahyun in some way. 

It’s warmly lit in the room they step into as the guards wave them inside the palace, Mina stepping up to lead the way by Sunmi, Dahyun ending up flanked between Jihyo and Jeongyeon as if they’re protecting her in some way. They seem to be in the throne room from the looks of it, three ornately carved marble thrones in line against the far wall, tapestries with what Dahyun assumes is the palace’s crest stitched intricately into them. The lanterns that light the room hang down from the ceiling, painted with different designs on each, making Dahyun smile. 

A young looking girl meets them, hair flowing down her back and stopping just above her hips, eyes drooping still from tiredness even as she smiles to greet them. “Mina,” She darts over to pull Mina into a tight embrace, and Mina’s fond laugh sounds faintly, muffled against the girl’s shoulder. “You are quite possibly the only acceptable reason to get up at the crack of dawn.” 

“It is lovely to see you again!” Mina beams, cupping the girl’s face in her hands. “I swear you have become even more mature since the last time I saw you.” 

“You forget I am no longer a child,” She laughs, eyes warm with affection. “Will you introduce me to your council?” 

“Ah yes,” Mina steps back a little. “You met Sunmi at my coronation.” Sunmi curtsies to the girl, and the girl curtsies back. “And this is Jihyo and Jeongyeon, my two additions.” 

“It is wonderful to meet you,” The girl curtsies to them too. 

“Dahyun,” Mina turns and waves her forward, Dahyun stepping hesitantly closer with baited breath, nervous in a new situation like this. “This is my handmaiden. Dahyun, this is Tzuyu, she’s the Princess who attended my coronation.” 

Dahyun sees Tzuyu smile at her, sinking into a slight curtsy for her, making her feel an instant wave of gratitude and respect for the Princess. “It is nice to meet you, your Highness,” She murmurs. “I am sorry I do not remember you better, that night was quite a blur.” 

“I can only imagine,” Tzuyu laughs. “You must be quite impressive for Mina to have picked you. What is it you always said to me Mina? ‘Having a handmaiden just means…’”

“‘Having someone who knows too much about you,’” Mina finishes with a little laugh. “It is different when you meet the perfect match.” Her words hold more weight to Dahyun, making her quickly glance to meet Mina’s eye, seeing she doesn’t just mean Dahyun was a perfect match as her handmaiden, she means it in every way possible. 

“I know in your letter you said to only prepare five rooms,” Tzuyu says then. “So it will be yourself and Dahyun in one room, but who else will be sharing one?” Mina shoots a look at Jeongyeon and Jihyo, caught up in deep conversation with Sunmi and the men of the council, who seem a bit sour at Mina having not introduced them at all. “Ah yes, okay,” Tzuyu nods. 

“Thank you for going to all this trouble,” Mina tells her gratefully. “I wish this could just be a fun visit with you, I hate having to talk business.” 

“I know,” Tzuyu sighs with a smile. “But Father is allowing me more involvement in things now, hence why I am the one to greet you by myself.” 

“Is he finally considering allowing you the throne?” Mina asks with excitement in her tone. 

“I surely hope so!” Tzuyu beams, cheeks rosy in her glee. “I have already begun pestering him about which noble I would want to add to my council. She is so smart! She paints and she is well traveled. She can recreate the kingdom map from memory.” 

“She sounds like a good choice, and you can tell your Father I said that,” Mina grins, placing a hand on Tzuyu’s shoulder and squeezing reassuringly. 

“Let me show you all to your chambers, that will give you a few hours to settle in before the rest of the palace is up before breakfast,” Tzuyu leads them out of the throne room to a winding staircase, the silk fabric of her turquoise colored dress billowing out behind her as they hurry after her, Dahyun having to take two steps at a time to try and keep up, silently cursing her shortness for not being able to keep up with Tzuyu’s striding pace. 

It’s obvious as they step into the guest chamber it was prepared meticulously for them, everything pristine and polished as Mina sets their shared trunk in the corner, thanking Tzuyu in a low voice and giving her another hug before she heads off to show the rest of the council to their chambers. 

“She is quite sweet,” Dahyun remarks when Mina shuts the chamber door and secures the lock. 

“She is,” Mina agrees with a smile. “She wants to be Queen badly.” 

“Why would she not be?” Dahyun asls curiously, always unsure about the intricate workings of royal things like this, glad she has Mina to explain them to her so she isn’t too terribly lost. 

Mina sighs, sitting on the edge of the bed, waving Dahyun to join her. “She has an older brother who is technically first in line,” Mina explains quietly, like she might be afraid someone will hear. “He has never been interested in the throne, it...it would not suit him.” 

“I still do not quite see what the issue is then,” Dahyun admits meekly. “If she wants the throne and he does not, is that not the perfect situation?” 

“I have known the Chou family since I was very young, and they have always aired on the traditional side, shall I say,” Mina goes on. “That is one thing my father and King Chou constantly disagreed on, and it only became worse when my father announced I would take the throne. My father was inundated with letters from King Chou about why I should not be Queen. I think he put it, ‘She is too headstrong for her own good, let alone the good of a kingdom.’” 

“So he does not want Tzuyu to rule,” Dahyun concludes, Mina nodding solemnly. “That is terrible, she is so obviously eager to do good for her kingdom.” 

“He has all sorts of plans that will never come to fruition,” Mina says, shaking her head a little. “He wanted to have me betrothed to Tzuyu’s brother before I was even able to walk. Thankfully my parents were insistent I should have a modicum of choice in who I marry, but he still presses the issue. He wants to unite our kingdoms by having me marry into their family.” 

“Is that why you are here? To discuss that?” Dahyun cringes even as she says the words, not liking this feeling of helplessness, of Mina barely being in her grasp. She wants to believe Mina when she says they have many years together, but it surely doesn’t feel like it now, with all of this talk. 

“Not so much,” Mina answers, Dahyun feeling herself let out a nervous breath. “We are discussing trade mostly, boring stuff. I also want to help Tzuyu convince him she is worthy of being a ruling monarch, but that will be quite the feat.” 

“If anyone could do it, it would be you,” Dahyun says earnestly, making Mina smile. “You are quite convincing.” 

“Oh am I?” Mina asks with a cheeky grin, placing her hands under Dahyun’s chin and pulling her face close enough to brush their lips together ever so slightly. “What could I convince you to do?” 

“Anything,” Dahyun breathes out softly, heart slamming against her sternum in anticipation. 

“I will go easy on you then,” Mina teases, kissing her tenderly, humming into her mouth in contentment. Dahyun keeps thinking she’ll get used to the feeling of kissing Mina, but it feels just as exhilarating as the first time everytime, every bone in her body feeling like jelly, her nerves feeling like they’re on fire, burning her from the inside out in the best way possible.

Usually when they kiss, something always manages to pull them away, whether it be Mina’s duties or the late time of night or one of them fretting over something. But now, in the tranquility of this unfamiliar room, the plush bed beneath them, they find themselves lying together and kissing still, Dahyun being pulled to lie atop Mina and making a noise of shock at the ease in which Mina moves her. 

“Did I startle you?” Mina jokes softly, Dahyun nodding bashfully, eagerly leaning back in to kiss her again, not wanting the warm feeling to go away. Mina’s hand cups the side of her hip, Dahyun allowing her fingers to brush the warmth of Mina’s cheek, smiling when she can feel Mina is as affected by their kiss as she is. 

It is quite easy to lose track of time, they come to realize, when they’re startled out of their kiss drunk reverie by a knock on their door and Tzuyu’s polite voice calling, “Mina? Everyone else came down to breakfast a bit ago, are you alright?” 

Mina pulls back, shock and a bit of panic in her eyes, and all Dahyun can look at is how red and swollen her lips are from all their kissing. She reaches up to feel her own, knowing they must look the same, and she just laughs nervously, not even sure what to say. 

“Ah, I will be down in a minute!” Mina finally calls, voice sounding a bit odd, a certain quality to it Dahyun has never heard before. “We lost track of time,” She whispers. 

“That we did,” Dahyun agrees nervously, getting off of Mina and hurrying to try and make herself look a bit presentable, brushing over the skirt of her maid’s frock, readjusting her bun at the base of her head. 

“Your lips…” Mina muffles a laugh behind her hand as she glances over at Dahyun. “Mine look the same I assume?” 

“Yes they do,” Dahyun murmurs, Mina sighing and putting her tiara back on her head, waving Dahyun to follow her. 

Dahyun’s heart feels as if it’s going a million miles a minute as she trails after Mina, panicking about seeing the others when it seems entirely obvious what they were doing. She seems to hold her breath as they all step into a well lit room with a high ceiling, the early morning sunlight coming in through the high windows along the walls. Tzuyu is sat between who Dahyun assumes is her Mother and Father, the rest of Mina’s council filtered around the table, only one seat available. Tzuyu seems to give them an apologetic look as they approach the table, looking uncomfortable. 

“Dahyun take the seat,” Mina says softly, pulling the chair out. “I do not mind standing.” 

“No, you should sit, your Highness,” Dahyun’s voice is strained, hurriedly tacking on the formal moniker at the end. “I will stand.” 

“Mina do not be ridiculous,” Tzuyu’s father says suddenly with a laugh. “Servants should not sit over monarchs.” 

Dahyun winces, not in offense, but knowing he’s hitting one of Mina’s sore spots and this won’t end well. “Perhaps old ideals are not always the best,” Mina says in a cutting tone, and Dahyun watches Tzuyu visibly sigh and put her head in her hands. “She works all day, she should be the one to sit. Besides, typically my days I am stuck sitting behind a desk, I would not mind stretching my legs for once.” Dahyun feels Mina’s hands on her shoulders, guiding her to sit in the chair, standing behind her. 

“How are you, Mina?” Tzuyu’s mother interjects before they can dwell on the topic further. “We were a bit worried when you did not come down, you are typically quite punctual.” 

“I suppose I lost track of time,” Mina answers smoothly, though the hand on Dahyun’s shoulder clenches tighter, Dahyun knowing she’s nervous even if it doesn’t show in her voice. “But I am well, and the kingdom has been doing quite well.” 

“And how has finding a husband been going?” Tzuyu’s mother seems to know that’s a dangerous question to ask, almost looking hesitant. 

“Poorly,” Mina answers with an odd sort of smile. “They do not entertain me with their notions of making me a housewife.” 

“Being a housewife is not the worst thing to be,” Tzuyu’s mother says softly, and Dahyun almost wants to tell her to quit while she’s ahead with this one. 

“Perhaps not for others, but for me it sounds like a living hell,” Mina tries to keep her tone lighthearted. “I do not want to be a prize, I am too self respecting for that.” 

“So you do not care for love or marriage or having children?” Tzuyu’s father scoffs. 

“Not with them,” Mina replies instantly, Dahyun tensing under the hands on her shoulders, biting her cheek to keep from telling Mina to shush before she says too much. 

“Anyways,” Tzuyu intervenes before anyone can say anything more. “I have invited that noble I told you about to the palace today for tea, so you all can meet her. She would certainly be fascinated with hearing how another kingdom runs.” 

“That sounds wonderful,” Mina smiles at Tzuyu then, and the whole table seems to breathe a sigh of relief. “I am sure anyone you pick for your council when you rule is incredible.” 

“Mina,” Comes a sigh from Tzuyu’s father, knowing Mina is pushing his buttons now. 

“What? She would do so well ruling,” Mina counters. 

“You know the arrangement our family is working for.” 

“Oh I surely do, I have put many letters regarding it into the fireplace in my study.” 

“Mina, stop,” Sunmi hisses, shooting her a glare. “Not the time.” 

The rest of the meal is incredibly tense, Mina ending up sharing Dahyun’s seat with her to sit and eat, leaning into her side as they quietly eat the food in front of them. It’s much different from anything served in Mina’s palace, spices Dahyun doesn’t recognize, but she likes it, something about the meal perking her up and seeming to finally awaken her totally after rousing so early in the morning. The only conversation passed between anyone at the table is a hushed discussion between Jihyo and Jeongyeon, everyone else opting for silence after Mina and Tzuyu’s father’s discussion. 

“Shall we begin the trade meetings?” He suggests after the meal has concluded, Mina nodding and sighing as she stands, setting her cloth napkin on the table.

“May I join, Father?” Tzuyu asks eagerly, eyes looking bright at the prospect. 

“No, Tzuyu, these are not matters for you to be concerned with,” Her father tells her sternly, a scowl coming over her delicate features.

“Perhaps you and Dahyun could walk in the gardens or something,” Mina suggests hurriedly, a pointed look sent Tzuyu’s way. 

“Ah yes,” Tzuyu perks up a little, smiling at Dahyun. “Come with me, we can take a stroll.” 

Dahyun reluctantly parts ways with Mina, sneaking a squeeze of their hands together subtly before they walk off in opposite directions, Mina and her council following the King and Queen while Dahyun goes awkwardly to stand at Tzuyu’s side, nervous in her presence alone. Usually she has Mina to help her navigate these things smoothly; thankfully Tzuyu seems kind and forgiving if she were to say something out of turn. They walk silently side by side out to a balcony and down a small staircase, the garden sweeping all through the grounds of the palace. Palm trees stand tall overhead, swaying in the warm breeze of the day, the air smelling salty as it did at the shore, making Dahyun assume the sea must be nearby. 

“It is quite warm here,” Dahyun says finally, a bit intimidated by the elegance of Tzuyu’s presence, not to mention how tall she is. 

But when she breaks out in a smile she looks much less intimidating, eyes glittering in the sunlight, “Do you come from somewhere cold?” 

“I am from one of the north most villages in Mina’s kingdom,” Dahyun explains, breath catching when she realizes she said Mina’s name plainly, though Tzuyu’s face remains impassive, like she doesn’t find it odd. “By Christmas time every year we had quite a bit of snow.” 

“Snow sounds lovely,” Tzuyu sighs. “I have never seen it.” 

“You do not travel much?” Dahyun asks as they step into the thick of the garden, flowers she does not recognize growing all around the paths. 

“My family does not let me,” Tzuyu replies solemnly. “My brother gets to go everywhere with them, but I have to stay here. The only place I have truly traveled to is Mina’s palace, because they believe it is safe.” 

“Where is your brother?” Dahyun wonders if maybe she shouldn’t ask, but she’s curious. They haven’t seen him once, though he’s been spoken about so much. 

“When people visit, he hides,” Tzuyu laughs a little. “Especially when it is Mina. He would not even go to her coronation.” 

“Why?” 

“Well he does not want her to think my father’s silly plan to have them betrothed is something he encourages,” Tzuyu explains, looking deep in thought. “He hates the whole plot, he has insisted for many years he does not want to rule and he wants me to have my chance.” She sighs then, stopping in their path to let her fingers delicately trace over the petals of a flower. “I feel bad for him, really. This depresses him so.” 

“Well if it counts for anything, I think you would be a wonderful Queen,” Dahyun offers meekly, knowing her opinion does not hold much weight, but it is true. Even in just a short time knowing Tzuyu she can see the passion and dedication she has to her dream of ruling, and she seems so kindhearted Dahyun can only assume she would do good with it. 

Tzuyu grins, saying a hushed, “I understand why Mina trusts you so much now.” Dahyun gives her a questioning look, and she continues, “You are quite an easy person to open up to. Almost too easy.” 

“I am happy to lend a listening ear to whoever needs it,” Dahyun replies with a smile. “When will your noble friend arrive?” 

A deep blush rises in Tzuyu’s cheeks, almost sounding giddy when she murmurs, “Hopefully soon. I have missed her terribly, it has been nearly a week since I last saw her.” 

Dahyun finds a knowing smile spreading on her face, recognizing the fondness in Tzuyu’s tone and the way her cheeks have become rosy, knowing she probably mirrors that whenever she looks at or speaks about Mina. She doesn’t want to assume too much, not knowing Tzuyu well enough to do so, but she certainly is excited to meet this noble and see how Tzuyu acts around her. 

That time comes shortly after they’ve finished their last loop around the garden, just approaching the path back to the balcony when Mina comes out onto it looking a bit exasperated, though that melts away to a happier expression when she sees Dahyun and Tzuyu walking together. “Your friend is waiting in the parlor room, Tzuyu.” The obvious glee that comes over Tzuyu is contagious, hurrying up to the balcony with Dahyun racing after her, again finding herself unable to keep up with Tzuyu’s long strides. 

Mina links her arm through Dahyun’s as they trail Tzuyu through the corridors, leaning to whisper into Dahyun’s ear, “Are you enjoying yourself, my love?” 

Dahyun feels her cheeks and ears burning, Mina’s words melting over her, making her long for the privacy of their room, wanting to be back where they were this morning kissing without any worry or care for anything beyond each other. Duties always seem to get in the way, and Dahyun just wants time with Mina uninterrupted and free from distraction or anxiety about the outside world. 

“Very much so,” She replies finally, voice hushed. “I wish you could have joined us.” 

Before Mina can reply, they round the corner into the small parlor room, many high back chairs around a small tea table, a petite looking girl with hair tied back in a low ponytail waiting for them, wearing cotton trousers and a silk blouse, beaming when she spots Tzuyu. She stands hurriedly, instantly rushing to hug Tzuyu, even pressing a quick peck to her cheek. “Nice to see you again,” She murmurs. 

“It is always a pleasure,” Tzuyu looks like she could be melting right on the spot, especially when she takes her hand and kisses her knuckles too. “Chaeyoung, this is Mina, the Queen of that kingdom north of here I told you of, and her handmaiden Dahyun.” Chaeyoung bows to both of them, and Dahyun decides instantly she likes this girl; what with the trousers and bowing instead of curtsying she clearly cares little for tradition, and it makes Dahyun feel safer in her presence. 

“Lovely to meet you, Chaeyoung,” Mina smiles, curtsying, Dahyun following suit. They all sit around the table, Dahyun noticing how Chaeyoung moves her chair to be closer to Tzuyu, exchanging an amused glance with Mina saying they’re both thinking the same thing. “So Tzuyu told us you paint, that is quite impressive.” 

Chaeyoung gets a bit bashful, waving her hand around nervously as she replies, “It is more of a hobby than anything, I also study other things. Anything that would be useful to be on the council.” Her eyes flick to Tzuyu. 

“You should speak with my advisor, Miss Lee,” Mina says, fingers delicately cupping her china cup of tea. “She would be able to guide you in the right direction of what to do to have the utmost of preparation for being on the council.” 

“Oh goodness, thank you,” Chaeyoung says sincerely, looking touched. “I really want to see Tzuyu rule, I think she is what is needed in this kingdom.” 

“You and me both,” Mina agrees. “I try my best to convince her family, but...they are stubborn.” 

“They do not like me much, I do not think,” Chaeyoung laughs a bit. 

“No that is not it,” Tzuyu protests weakly, Chaeyoung giving her a look. “They do think you are a bit too forward thinking, but they think the same of me.” 

“It seems odd to want to stay stuck in the past,” Dahyun remarks almost without realizing, nervous when she realizes she probably spoke out of turn. 

“You are entirely right,” Mina smiles her way, reaching for her hand under the table. “The world must move forward to move at all.”

“Dahyun always has the right thing to say,” Tzuyu chimes in. “Even just speaking with you in the garden I can tell you have a way with words.” 

Dahyun blushes deeply, eyes falling to her lap. “You are kind, thank you, your Highness.” 

“Sometimes I believe she has divine knowledge,” Mina goes on, squeezing Dahyun’s hand. “If anyone knows exactly what is right, it is always her.” 

Dahyun cannot help glancing to Mina then, knowing her eyes are filled to the brim with all of the love she feels for Mina, as her heart is. Though they continue on conversing, moving to other things, sipping their tea and enjoying the indoor reprieve from the heat of the day, Dahyun’s eyes always find their way back to Mina, heart seeming to crumble in her chest everytime, knowing that no matter what happens in the future, where their relationship goes, they will always find their way home to one another.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> @bbygirldahyun on tumblr and @bbygiridahyun on twitter


End file.
